Friday, October 29, 2010

The Closet (a Little Tale for Halloween)




He eased into his driveway in the wee-morning darkness. The business trip and tortured flight was ending. Finally. But something was strange. Lights blazed from the downstairs windows of the house while the rest of the neighborhood slept.

His key zipped into the lock and snapped back the bolt.

An over-stuffed briefcase slapped onto the floor.

His wife sat with cradled knees on the couch in front of the television. She looked at him, then looked away. Her face was ashen. His stomach sank.

"Honey...?"

The lights of the television danced on her face.

He dared a step into the room. Just one. Maybe she wasn't cool with the longer trip after all.

"Is everything alright?"

She vomited.

No lead in. No gagging.

Just heaved.

He hurried over, and she was already crying too hard to breathe.

"Jesus, what's wrong?"

She curled tight, shielding herself under him. A wall to hide behind.

He asked again, but the most he got was a wobbly arm pointing up toward the master bedroom.

"Is someone in the house? Should I call the police?"

She shook her head. She started pulling and dragging him toward the door.

"You want to go?" he said.

Obviously she did. She pulled him back to the car and collapsed in the passenger seat. She held her face in her hands.

"Where are we going?" he said.

She slashed her hands toward the road. Just go! Just go!

He took a few random streets. She seemed to calm. He was afraid to ask her again what was wrong, but he was also afraid not to.

"I want to stay at a hotel," she managed to say.

"You want to--?"

"Do it!" she yelled.

Maybe he would vomit now.

His fears were storming. He was chewed up from the trip. He didn't understand what the hell was going on. None of it even felt real.

"Can you...I mean...tell me...what's going on?" he said.

He got the story, small as it was, on the way to the old Holiday Inn next to the highway. Plenty of rooms were available on a Thursday night.

After they checked in, she begged him not to go back. But they packed nothing. No change of clothes. No toiletries. No toothbrush. He left her pained face behind the door with the little peep hole and do-not-disturb sign and drove up his driveway once again. The house was draped with layers of silence. Room silence covered with house silence covered with not even a stir of air across the yard outside. He would call out sick tomorrow. No way he could return to the office on two hours sleep. If that.

He went to the bathroom first to collect what he needed.

That was a natural place to start.

He found underwear and socks in drawers. But the rest was in the closet. No way to avoid it.

As much as he tried to stomp down her words, they scratched back into head. He stood across the room from the big, folding door and tried to will himself to walk over. As if nothing was out of the ordinary. As if he didn't hear what she said.

But the intrusion of her words kept churning.

I went into the closet to pick out clothes, and toward the back, in the dark, the weirdest thing caught the corner of my eye. I thought I saw a little girl. I thought a little girl peeked out from between the hanging clothes.

Thick, thick silence. His palms were cold and slimy.

It didn't register at first, because it was out of the corner of my eye, and I was turning away. I stopped and turned back. Nothing was back there at first, just like I thought, but then the girl leaned out again. (Voice shaking.) Her face was wrong. Horrible. I jumped back and slammed the door. Then, she laughed. That thing laughed low, like snickering. It resonated through the whole house. It resonated inside my head.

Crazy stuff. Wacko.

But his wife didn't suffer the crazy and wacko.

And there it was. Right in front of him. Of course he would check it. Of course he would see that nothing was there. Right?

He wiped his palms. Began to shift his weight in that direction.

Then that thing echoed inside his head.

He really couldn't be blamed for falling his way down the stairs.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Wanting to Be



Yellow unveils when
soil's Earth-bound progeny
reach for fading skies

Monday, October 25, 2010

"Maybe You'd Like to Go for a Walk?"



I sit with her, by the stream, and I think about what it will be like to touch her.

My heart should be splitting out of my chest. Alone, the two of us. I watch the late-sun shadows on her face. I see the cold fire in her stare, amazing as that might be to me. I can see that she sees something of the same in me.

But the tight breaths are past. Years past. It feels good to sit by the stream, youth knitted up in wiser lives. It almost makes it more sweet. Inching up to the hill and looking down. Once I start the plunge, with trees and rocks whirring, gravity will shove in the middle of my back toward her gravity, and I'll barely believe the shock of it. I'll want to sigh every last molecule of air from my lungs.

That's what it will be like to touch her. There will be the static heat, and the ground evaporating under my feet. She'll want me on her skin, her hidden skin, and her hands will find dark ways underneath my shirt.

But right now she's sitting there, smiling sometimes, and thinking other times. The autumn stream is very pretty. Even if there's not much to say.

I could die in that falling moment, frozen when she surrenders. When the first touch explodes into tornado winds and moaning reeds and flashing prism crystals.

And....

She's looking at me now, and my heart is beating after all.

Something is changing. We both can feel it.

The tipping has started.

And it will be much more than I imagined it could be.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Trans-Actions



do something for one
and gain a task
do it again
if they should ask
but do a something
for yourself
if you want the joy to last

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

In Nomine Fili


(Photo: Taken at the Philadelphia Art Museum)


I learned the secret
rites of exorcism
I learned the language
and habits of the beast
I brewed holy water
broke my body's bread
and poured glass after glass
of hot bloody wine

I excised the demon
in the end
with his cloven eyes
and tickly tongue
I cut him surgically clean
from his no-more womb

but he's still standing there
laughing
crushing every relic and incantation
rummaged to finish him
he's goading me
to kiss the point of a knife
to kiss and plunge
but for all he knows
and all he's done
and all the tortures
he loves to plan
he really has not the slightest
glimmer of understanding
who the fuck
he's dealing with

Monday, October 18, 2010

Superman Song



And sometimes I despair
The world will never see another man
Like him
     --Crash Test Dummies, Superman Song



"I think about him sometimes. Is that weird? I wonder what ever happened to him."

"No idea."

"He never seemed to really belong in high school."

"Nope."

"Did you ever Google him? I did."

"A few times. His name isn't exactly unique, though. Like five hundred thousands hits or something. It messes with my head when I see so many people with the same name."

"Yeah."

(Silence.)

(Ice cubes swirl.)

"Have you talked to anyone else?"

"No. Not really. I only went to the first reunion."

(More silence.)

(A drink is sipped. The bartender washes at the sink and shakes off his hands.)

"I wonder if anyone ever thinks of us."

"Well, I can tell you that at least one person did."

(Smiles.)

"Yeah."

"And you were much easier to find."

"You want another drink?"


COMMENTS LINK

Friday, October 15, 2010

Game Friday: Mixology

Busy, busy week. My new work life is already fully underway and juiced. So let's meet for happy hour, shall we?

The challenge is to cook up a drink that sounds good to you. Something original. Something off the top of your head. It doesn't have to have alcohol in it, but mine will.

So let's see....

I'm going to start with some mango juice. Then, I'm going to spoon in some pureed lychee nuts. Then gin. I'm going season (liberally), with gin. Maybe a sprinkle of salt too. I think I'll call it a You-Just-Missed-Your-Exit-and-You-Don't-Care.

Go for it! The bar is open!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Under Wool and Sky



we framed an afternoon
to spread a blanket
despite the rocks
and fluff some pillows
under wind-polished blue

we counted colors
and laughed at faraway birds
letting go of the days
when we were no more than parents
scrambling around after you

Monday, October 11, 2010

Meetings



"Don't go too high!"

She watched him swing around the trunk and spring up two more branches. They were too small. They bent horribly under his fourteen-year-old weight.

"That's going to break!" she said.

"Which one do you want?" he said, looking to the last bunch of good apples. "Do you like them green, or beginning to turn red?"

"Beginning to turn red."

"Figures."

He palmed two of the green ones and stuffed them in his pocket. He plucked the red one she had her eye on with an all-or-nothing grab. She couldn't look. He was going to fall for sure.

"Catch!" he said.

She peeked just soon enough see the sailing apple. She caught it with the quick flash of her hands.

"Nice one!" he said.

She sighed in relief. He didn't fall after all.

Two old boots slapped onto the ground and were followed by the rest of him. In his usual, fluid way, he flashed out a knife and held out his hand. He rubbed her apple on his shirt and began slicing wedges.

"Easier to eat that way," he said.

She bunched the slices in her hand, and he moved on to one of his own.

They munched across from one another as little gusts loosened orange and salmon leaves. They fluttered like burnt summer rain. The red maples were bright and in full color.

The silence didn't feel comfortable to her. Maybe she should say something. Some fun conversation. But talking with her mouth full wouldn't be very charming.

"You know, you don't have to hang around out here if you don't want to," he said.

The sensation in her face drained.

"I mean, you're probably bored," he said.

Yeah, no sensation in her fingertips either.

"No," she said softly. "I'm not bored. But if you want me to go...."

That seemed to jostle him. He mishandled the knife and fumbled before he could pick it up.

"No!" he said. "What I meant to say is, I just, its not that I want you to go. I like having you out here, actually. With me, I mean. I just wasn't sure if you do...."

A different feeling rushed in where the numbness had been.

She smiled an even bigger smile.

"I like hanging out with you," he said, dropping his gaze to his lap where he turned the apple in his hand.

"Me too," she said.

"Cool."

She bit another piece of apple. "Cool."

Friday, October 08, 2010

Game Friday: Autumn Haunts

Are you folks in the mood for a Game Friday? Maybe we can have some fun. Gather 'round.

The invitation for today is to take a letter of the alphabet and feature a word starting with that letter in a one-line scene where we might find some autumn ghosts. The ghosts can be literal or metaphorical. Give us a taste of the October dark light.

I'll start with "A." You all take it from there in comments.

A house rounded by ANCIENT trees grown too tall, painting the siding with sickly shadows.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Time Flies (in Retrospect)



"That's a long way off."

"Yes."

"I can't even think that far ahead."

"Understandable."

"In fact, it's almost not worth thinking about right now."

"I hear you, but I'll make you a little promise. It'll be here before you know it. In a flash. And when you look back, there will just be a bunch of living in between."

Monday, October 04, 2010

Without a Coat



Cold wind cuts westward
skies, the bowels of digestion
shakes the fruit we grew

Friday, October 01, 2010

The Next Stage

I keep my writing life and professional life separate.

In some ways, they aren't very compatible. And yet they don't seem to have any trouble living in my skin together. Go figure.

I want to take a brief moment here at Clarity and let the two lives mix a little. I've hit a major milestone in my career. I'm even going to let myself be a bit proud. I've become a senior executive in a health care institution with a world reputation. I represented them for many years as lawyer, and now I'm joining the team. I'm more than ready to leave firm life and take on a new set of challenges.

I expect to keep blogging at the same pace, but work on my novel has ground to a halt. When I find a new balance, I expect pick it up again and finish. Until then, maybe it will percolate.

Wish me luck in my other life! Thank you all for being friends.