tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post113676135760733075..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Caroline, Part 2 (Fiction)Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1137013095702734602006-01-11T15:58:00.000-05:002006-01-11T15:58:00.000-05:00Chemical Billy, thanks! Some sort of satisfaction...Chemical Billy, thanks! Some sort of satisfaction?? Oh, something's a brewin', don't worry. I hope it <I>will</I> be satisfying!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1137012578580354822006-01-11T15:49:00.000-05:002006-01-11T15:49:00.000-05:00"I can see that," David said, and as if to prove h..."I can see that," David said, and as if to prove he really could, he paused to absorb all of the craftsman touches.<BR/><BR/>This made me laugh, jason. That last line about dying here, it begs <I>some</I> sort of satisfaction...Chemical Billyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02252177787003276682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1137002421578313272006-01-11T13:00:00.000-05:002006-01-11T13:00:00.000-05:00Sorry, I didn't mean to imply I am not thankful of...Sorry, I didn't mean to imply I am not thankful of any critism. I appreciate ever person that visits and especially those that leave comments, even harsh ones.<BR/><BR/>I just haven't read that many published short stories where the hook isn't somewhere close to the beginning. <BR/><BR/>The mood and setting is very well written but what pulls the reader into the story and what keeps them turning the page? That's the struggle. I write in a different genre so maybe it doesn't apply in yours. But thank you for your comments.Confessions of a Starving Mystery Writer https://www.blogger.com/profile/00731772701795707624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136998867748711122006-01-11T12:01:00.000-05:002006-01-11T12:01:00.000-05:00BeadinggalinMS, I'm glad it was meaningful for you...BeadinggalinMS, I'm glad it was meaningful for you. I thought the visuals were a nice touch. I never expected someone to have a personal connection, though. :)<BR/><BR/>Robin, thanks! I always appreciate opinions, positive or negative.<BR/><BR/>R.J., I knew you were just messing with me. I do understand that this story doesn't have any big hooks up front. The excerpt I posted before the story was intended to give me a little space to build atmosphere. As for your other comment, you're on your own! I almost deleted it for your own protection. Getting bloodied is hard, but I've seen a lot of honest help and attention on your site. Silence and declining visits are the true sign that you're way off base.<BR/><BR/>Sarah, that idea is true for me. As for foreshadowing, yes, a little, but perhaps not in the way you might think....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136997642489671072006-01-11T11:40:00.000-05:002006-01-11T11:40:00.000-05:00Jason, just bustin' your chops about the restuaran...Jason, just bustin' your chops about the restuarant statement. That was a superb come back BTW. <BR/><BR/>Geeze, these women coddle and coo...<BR/><BR/>They flog and bloody me. I better crank up the volume.Confessions of a Starving Mystery Writer https://www.blogger.com/profile/00731772701795707624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136993210232553012006-01-11T10:26:00.000-05:002006-01-11T10:26:00.000-05:00I like the time shift...that's just IMHO! Very we...I like the time shift...that's just IMHO! Very well done@Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06507129192655971640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136990023124667062006-01-11T09:33:00.000-05:002006-01-11T09:33:00.000-05:00AAAHH Jason thanks for pointing out the embeded li...AAAHH Jason thanks for pointing out the embeded links. I was raised near St. Louis and even lived there about 20 yrs ago sooo it was heart warming seeing the Anheuser-Busch add. Thank you for giving me a feeling of "home". Does that make sense?? :)Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08665167693563457389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136986841156264032006-01-11T08:40:00.000-05:002006-01-11T08:40:00.000-05:00R.J., sure, you can have a drink with the star of ...R.J., sure, you can have a drink with the star of our show in the next part.<BR/><BR/>Tanya, thank you for the compliment!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136944646093354162006-01-10T20:57:00.000-05:002006-01-10T20:57:00.000-05:00Very nice. I love the way you paint a scene. Tan...Very nice. I love the way you paint a scene. <BR/><BR/>TanyaShesawriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14904247751806210823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136944489032912002006-01-10T20:54:00.000-05:002006-01-10T20:54:00.000-05:00Can a fella get a drink around here?Can a fella get a drink around here?Confessions of a Starving Mystery Writer https://www.blogger.com/profile/00731772701795707624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136943434168747272006-01-10T20:37:00.000-05:002006-01-10T20:37:00.000-05:00Since no one mentioned the embedded links, I'm thi...Since no one mentioned the embedded links, I'm thinking the text color is not standing out enough. I'm adding brackets to set them off. You can read the same ad that David is reading in the story!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136943064978256952006-01-10T20:31:00.000-05:002006-01-10T20:31:00.000-05:00Mermaid, thanks for the comment on character. And...Mermaid, thanks for the comment on character. And harmonizing with another time, that's me, definitely.<BR/><BR/>Kara, ah, sensitive to clues are we? ;) We shall see.<BR/><BR/>Jeff, always glad to have you.<BR/><BR/>Dana, thanks for visiting! Welcome to The Clarity of Night. I'm glad that the setting is getting across well. I spend a good deal of effort on that.... Hope to see you back!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136941645590140072006-01-10T20:07:00.000-05:002006-01-10T20:07:00.000-05:00"God, David thought, I could die in a place like t..."God, David thought, I could die in a place like this."<BR/><BR/>LOVE this last line. Also, love the details, makes feel I'm right there in the hotel.WannabeMehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15938094279274975960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136939204160838652006-01-10T19:26:00.000-05:002006-01-10T19:26:00.000-05:00I'm following along. :)I'm following along. :)Jeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06106410070220667314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136939066893087292006-01-10T19:24:00.000-05:002006-01-10T19:24:00.000-05:00I love that he called his business statistics crap...I love that he called his business statistics crap. You had me at that, but you've held on since then. <BR/><BR/>"So, will he die in a place like this?" she thought....Kara Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17382393133894023610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136927552837676232006-01-10T16:12:00.000-05:002006-01-10T16:12:00.000-05:00Nicely set. Great attention to detail. You reall...Nicely set. Great attention to detail. You really get into the mind of the character. It makes me wonder if I "forever harmonize with a time" other than my own. Hmmm...mermaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15895749686844178804noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136922443107731092006-01-10T14:47:00.000-05:002006-01-10T14:47:00.000-05:00Terri and BeadinggalinMS, you folks are really too...Terri and BeadinggalinMS, you folks are really too good to me! Glad you enjoyed it. Given the market and my own growth, I think I'm drifting more mainstream these days, but a good horror story now and again gets the pulse going!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136921697634817792006-01-10T14:34:00.000-05:002006-01-10T14:34:00.000-05:00Me too on Will-'o-the-Whisp!! Love it!Me too on Will-'o-the-Whisp!! Love it!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08665167693563457389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136920849167173342006-01-10T14:20:00.000-05:002006-01-10T14:20:00.000-05:00Oh Wow, I just read "Will-'o-the-Wisp" - loved it!...Oh Wow, I just read "Will-'o-the-Wisp" - loved it!!!Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03158421102740382411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136920239104021002006-01-10T14:10:00.000-05:002006-01-10T14:10:00.000-05:00I will check out "Will-'o-the-Wisp" myself. You a...I will check out "Will-'o-the-Wisp" myself. You always leave me wanting to read more!Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03158421102740382411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136914411600988902006-01-10T12:33:00.000-05:002006-01-10T12:33:00.000-05:00Bernita, :) Pacing this kind of story isn't easy....Bernita, :) Pacing this kind of story isn't easy.<BR/><BR/>Autumn Storm, thank you for the compliments! I hope you won't be taking a break for too long. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136911347542170642006-01-10T11:42:00.000-05:002006-01-10T11:42:00.000-05:00Jason, you have real talent! Really like the vocab...Jason, you have real talent! Really like the vocab choices you make, lends the perfect ambience (well, in my humble opinion :). Looking forward to Part III.<BR/><BR/>PS I'm kind of taking a break from posting, have been for a while.Autumn Stormhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00717238881397883357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136907460524071582006-01-10T10:37:00.000-05:002006-01-10T10:37:00.000-05:00Delicately done, Jason.Delicately done, Jason.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136905846874874242006-01-10T10:10:00.000-05:002006-01-10T10:10:00.000-05:00BeadinggalinMS, let me know what you think of Will...BeadinggalinMS, let me know what you think of Will-'o-the-Wisp.<BR/><BR/>R.J., it's on the grill and will be served up shortly. Maybe this restaurant is a little slow....<BR/><BR/>Serenty, thank you for the visit! I look forward to seeing you back.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1136904872135750362006-01-10T09:54:00.000-05:002006-01-10T09:54:00.000-05:00Very nice!I'll be checking back to see more.Very nice!<BR/><BR/>I'll be checking back to see more.Serenityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11265817858876698049noreply@blogger.com