tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post116854810666828479..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: OnceJason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168820066347160762007-01-14T19:14:00.000-05:002007-01-14T19:14:00.000-05:00Bekbek, thanks! If only I had more words. I woul...Bekbek, thanks! If only I had more words. I wouldn't have left it completely to your imagination. ;)<BR/><BR/>Daniel, much appreciated.<BR/><BR/>Dafath, thanks for being a part of it!<BR/><BR/>Terri, :) A romance, eh? I might be talked into it....<BR/><BR/>Mermaid, very true.<BR/><BR/>Emeraldcite, thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168813616508558842007-01-14T17:26:00.000-05:002007-01-14T17:26:00.000-05:00Excellent, as always.Excellent, as always.emeraldcitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11495241111424476230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168707183152174382007-01-13T11:53:00.000-05:002007-01-13T11:53:00.000-05:00Even the homeless can somtimes find home again.Even the homeless can somtimes find home again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168701343338290372007-01-13T10:15:00.000-05:002007-01-13T10:15:00.000-05:00This is a great piece of writing - it runs easily ...This is a great piece of writing - it runs easily as a black-and-white movie in my head.<BR/>Yes, I think your next serial story should be romance. (I'm still reeling from the JT's..!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168685790034987252007-01-13T05:56:00.000-05:002007-01-13T05:56:00.000-05:00jasongood storygreat writingfun contestthank youag...jason<BR/><BR/>good story<BR/>great writing<BR/>fun contest<BR/><BR/>thank you<BR/><BR/>agdDafathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04786106615120535425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168669401835226132007-01-13T01:23:00.000-05:002007-01-13T01:23:00.000-05:00Very subtle work there, Jason. Nicely done.Very subtle work there, Jason. Nicely done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168623085074532032007-01-12T12:31:00.000-05:002007-01-12T12:31:00.000-05:00This is beautiful. The best part is when here hand...This is beautiful. The best part is when here hands shoot to his waist. Lots of heady sexual excitement, just like being a teenager on a GOOD teenaged day. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168612860833340822007-01-12T09:41:00.000-05:002007-01-12T09:41:00.000-05:00Christian, that is quite a compliment, thanks! I ...Christian, that is quite a compliment, thanks! I like when the nature of a piece is embedded in the words.<BR/><BR/>Feminine Expressions, it's such a gift when someone truly sees what you're trying to accomplish. Thanks for that, my friend.<BR/><BR/>Jaye, shhhh. Don't tell anyone. ;)<BR/><BR/>S.W., sometimes these kinds of emotions never fade, you know? Strange what we choose to carry with us.<BR/><BR/>Joni, thanks! I like how each of us shines through in our own way.<BR/><BR/>September, very kind to say. :)<BR/><BR/>Anne, it's almost more important to hear what you do well than what needs work. That way you can preserve the good while whittling down the bad. Thank you for helping me!<BR/><BR/>Angel, much appreciated. :)<BR/><BR/>Fran, I love how you see the effort so clearly. The greatest achievement in the labor of writing is not to see the labor at all. Just to feel and experience.<BR/><BR/>Atyllah, I was just talking to my neice (who took the picture) about that very thing. I demonstrated how a simple sentence with a strong verb is so much more powerful than a complex sentence with 4 adjectives. She really saw it for the first time, I think. Sometimes I get too wild with the verbs, though. That's what I have to watch against. In edits, I might pull back some or add some simple "to be" verbs for variety and a rest for the reader.<BR/><BR/>Susan, I do think in structures, now that you mention it. Your observations are always wonderful, my friend.<BR/><BR/>Cailleach, then I managed to accomplish what I set out to do! Thank you for the feedback. :)<BR/><BR/>Strugglingwriter, that's important feedback, thank you! I never want a reader to fall out of a story. Sooner or later, they won't make the effort to jump back in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168607272006912682007-01-12T08:07:00.000-05:002007-01-12T08:07:00.000-05:00Very well done. It kept I attention the whole tim...Very well done. It kept I attention the whole time. Great use of the 250 words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168606921079416692007-01-12T08:02:00.000-05:002007-01-12T08:02:00.000-05:00Very nice! Great imagery!Very nice! Great imagery!Jeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06106410070220667314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168600577921867242007-01-12T06:16:00.000-05:002007-01-12T06:16:00.000-05:00Almost poetic, really! Lovely nostaligic feel to i...Almost poetic, really! Lovely nostaligic feel to it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168592801346843062007-01-12T04:06:00.000-05:002007-01-12T04:06:00.000-05:00Hi Jason,This story veers away from your usual sty...Hi Jason,<BR/>This story veers away from your usual style, I would think. Of course, it works well.<BR/>Your distinctive ability for structure can steer your stories on to any road. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168591917852357452007-01-12T03:51:00.000-05:002007-01-12T03:51:00.000-05:00Oh wow, very, very nice, Jason, and loved the use ...Oh wow, very, very nice, Jason, and loved the use of some really strong verbs. Excellent!<BR/><A HREF="http://www.atyllahthehen.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">Atyllah</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168586842652789212007-01-12T02:27:00.000-05:002007-01-12T02:27:00.000-05:00A great sense of place. It's so hard to say just t...A great sense of place. It's so hard to say just the right amount to take the reader to the place you're describing, but once again you manage it without apparent effort!<BR/><BR/>Great job, Jason.Fran Piperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08177027484914337117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168581428710940192007-01-12T00:57:00.000-05:002007-01-12T00:57:00.000-05:00nice one jason- fabulous!nice one jason- fabulous!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168573583404586962007-01-11T22:46:00.000-05:002007-01-11T22:46:00.000-05:00fantastic, jason.you're a master of description.fantastic, jason.<BR/><BR/>you're a master of description.anne frasierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044828332429421657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168571721841488582007-01-11T22:15:00.000-05:002007-01-11T22:15:00.000-05:00this is one of my favorites...this is one of my favorites...Esther Avilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840416881970211377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168571116960759872007-01-11T22:05:00.000-05:002007-01-11T22:05:00.000-05:00Wow, Jason. Too bad you can't win, huh? You migh...Wow, Jason. Too bad you can't win, huh? You might have had it in the bag.<BR/><BR/>I love it.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168567535325400122007-01-11T21:05:00.000-05:002007-01-11T21:05:00.000-05:00Oh, this is beautiful! *sigh* Very evocative of hi...Oh, this is beautiful! *sigh* Very evocative of high school sweethearts, and everything we believe so important as teens that fades with the onset of adulthood.<BR/><BR/>Again... *sigh* Well done!s.w. vaughnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09102544611773720262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168560100684687232007-01-11T19:01:00.000-05:002007-01-11T19:01:00.000-05:00This was touching, Jason. You might have a knack f...This was touching, Jason. You might have a knack for romance after all. ;)Jaye Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09407478042834459126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168553525803146082007-01-11T17:12:00.000-05:002007-01-11T17:12:00.000-05:00Oh, Jason, this is excellent writing. The heart of...Oh, Jason, this is excellent writing. The heart of communication (of any kind) is for the writer/speaker to create an image in the mind of the reader/listener, not simply to create the recognition of words. Your careful, deep attention to details in the world around you is conveyed in your story and we, the readers, can taste and feel the story through the images you create. Thank you for showing us how it is done...diana christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00717974509387079626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1168548626673254822007-01-11T15:50:00.000-05:002007-01-11T15:50:00.000-05:00I liked it. There was a sense of nostalgia even ...I liked it. There was a sense of nostalgia even before the ending reveals it as a flashback.Christianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10724513693271065824noreply@blogger.com