tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post129421755782305023..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #20Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63077887375532410152011-07-29T07:46:33.877-04:002011-07-29T07:46:33.877-04:00A very intriguing take on innocence. A strong met...A very intriguing take on innocence. A strong metaphor for that lesson.<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-33612027802850731852011-07-23T05:05:49.510-04:002011-07-23T05:05:49.510-04:00Melanie - This, as it turns out, is a very sweet a...Melanie - This, as it turns out, is a very sweet and endearing piece, but I didn't realise it until right at the very end. As Peter pointed out, it could have been so dark. I'm so glad that you plumped for the lighter touch. Good job.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89733736063116150922011-07-22T14:10:37.737-04:002011-07-22T14:10:37.737-04:00lovely,sweet, tender...If fiction is a way to expl...lovely,sweet, tender...If fiction is a way to explore our commonalities and encapsulate our truths; inviting emotional response without appealing to base sentimentality, ( the "falsest of all emotions," as someone once said)...you accomplished that hereLinda Ryan-Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15164148666810818891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-62671182978500958922011-07-19T23:45:59.179-04:002011-07-19T23:45:59.179-04:00The writing is pure and simple, but it carries a w...The writing is pure and simple, but it carries a wallop. I needed two readings to see how this was structured, but I think it's smart and well-written.Richard Levangiehttp://richardlevangie.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12952522377133497392011-07-19T15:30:07.213-04:002011-07-19T15:30:07.213-04:00Very sweet - something like this happened to one o...Very sweet - something like this happened to one of my daughters - I always wondered what was going on in her head! :) ~Jana A.bluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60307245991684127572011-07-18T19:15:05.032-04:002011-07-18T19:15:05.032-04:00I really saw through the child's eye - how fri...I really saw through the child's eye - how frightening to meet fire - yay for dad! Take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-65897189270375214272011-07-18T10:38:35.719-04:002011-07-18T10:38:35.719-04:00Really liked this one, and lesson learned I'm ...Really liked this one, and lesson learned I'm sure.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3970102414653118022011-07-18T06:12:27.260-04:002011-07-18T06:12:27.260-04:00Thanks so much for the wonderful comments, guys!
...Thanks so much for the wonderful comments, guys!<br /><br />Peter Dudley-<br />Oh no. I just reread it, and it totally works as a metaphor for an abusive relationship. There go all my plans of writing something sweet and innocent... lol.Melanie Odhnernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-46055393684606924752011-07-17T02:52:27.696-04:002011-07-17T02:52:27.696-04:00I thought that was such a tender scene at the end ...I thought that was such a tender scene at the end with the father comforting his child.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1488447619424859702011-07-16T23:29:56.913-04:002011-07-16T23:29:56.913-04:00Unfortunately, I think my reading of this suffered...Unfortunately, I think my reading of this suffered at the beginning because I had just read one about an abusive relationship. So at the beginning, and for most of the piece, I had that as my baseline and thought this was a grown woman, that the fire was a metaphor.<br /><br />The last few sentences of course make it clear, and that's the part I like best. (But then, they could still be metaphorical...)PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-15637337290880669802011-07-16T10:54:16.958-04:002011-07-16T10:54:16.958-04:00I guess, we've all done it at some point of ti...I guess, we've all done it at some point of time in our lives. We couldn't just take their word on it, could we. :)<br /><br />Thanks for a good read.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-73569315626986768332011-07-15T16:50:15.441-04:002011-07-15T16:50:15.441-04:00I agree about the child's perspective, it'...I agree about the child's perspective, it's quite unique. Well written. I like how it's so complex but in the end it's quite a simple premise - a little girl touching a flame.Bexanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74562412377641608692011-07-15T06:47:06.717-04:002011-07-15T06:47:06.717-04:00I love this. The development of the child's cu...I love this. The development of the child's curious perspective is mesmerizing, and the ending warms my heart.Preciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071233480999640713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17906138453866735152011-07-15T06:20:08.021-04:002011-07-15T06:20:08.021-04:00aww, the poor child!
i liked the way the child'...aww, the poor child!<br />i liked the way the child's emotions and experiences are described here.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68327893119218946012011-07-15T02:52:49.083-04:002011-07-15T02:52:49.083-04:00enjoyed your poetry through multiple readings!enjoyed your poetry through multiple readings!Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-75502013517763004792011-07-15T00:02:18.813-04:002011-07-15T00:02:18.813-04:00affecting!
Aloha from Waikiki;
My posts seem ...affecting!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Aloha from Waikiki;<br /><br />My posts seem to be updating again!!!! Hooray!<br /><br /><a href="http://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Comfort Spiral</a><br /><br /> ><}}(°><br /><br /> <br /> > < } } ( ° ><br /><br />< ° ) } } > <Cloudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05853753108637831069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55246304327658148562011-07-14T23:41:12.074-04:002011-07-14T23:41:12.074-04:00scream after scream after scream
This is the line...<i>scream after scream after scream</i><br /><br />This is the line that tore at my heart; this is the line that captured me. You do a wonderful job of portraying both feeling and thought, and your ending is poignant and sweet. Daddy to the rescue; it delivers me back to my own childhood.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64333766429316053322011-07-14T21:59:59.997-04:002011-07-14T21:59:59.997-04:00Took a couple read throughs to really get the feel...Took a couple read throughs to really get the feel on this, but this line:<br /><br /><i>We feel time so slow, this close to the beginning.</i> I think says it all. As a kid, everything is 'slow' because we're learning and as we age, we've learned from our mistakes and wont make them again (hopefully). :)Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.com