tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post1378313252509411688..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Forties Club Finalist #72Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71074038240287692722010-08-04T22:50:32.083-04:002010-08-04T22:50:32.083-04:00Late to the party, but not one BIT surprised to se...Late to the party, but not one BIT surprised to see you as a finalist, Aerin. :)<br /><br />LOVED this story. It didn't tug at my heart strings. It softly grabbed a good, meaty handful and demanded attention. Your characters were wonderfully drawn in a few subtle strokes--and I am so durn proud of you, yay!rainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04258822737734173873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-82103389422274145862010-08-03T16:43:36.835-04:002010-08-03T16:43:36.835-04:00uhm, some comments were referring to a Mrs Carruth...uhm, some comments were referring to a Mrs Carruthers - but I guess she was not his wife, was she?<br />anyway, i liked it a lot.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-43851381524366241792010-08-03T16:41:53.459-04:002010-08-03T16:41:53.459-04:00wow, i didn't see the end ;) what a twist.
gre...wow, i didn't see the end ;) what a twist.<br />great writing, congratulations on winning.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17602673725025584402010-08-02T11:14:33.419-04:002010-08-02T11:14:33.419-04:00Not batty at all. Loved this.Not batty at all. Loved this.Rachel Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8779058214581503842010-08-01T21:12:54.865-04:002010-08-01T21:12:54.865-04:00You had me at "marijuana." Helluva endin...You had me at "marijuana." Helluva ending.Angel Zapatahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01166540490117426226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49807496034367429292010-08-01T21:12:50.414-04:002010-08-01T21:12:50.414-04:00You had me at "marijuana." Helluva endin...You had me at "marijuana." Helluva ending.Angel Zapatahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01166540490117426226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13463247379169704952010-07-31T20:20:35.613-04:002010-07-31T20:20:35.613-04:00I kept waiting for the character of Kate to turn i...I kept waiting for the character of Kate to turn into just another, money-grubbing thief, especially after she asked: "Which necklace?" <br /><br />You ended it much more unexpectedly and much more effectively than what my imagination was conjuring up. Well done!J. Elis Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07768747366196080032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-92091241121178415442010-07-31T00:20:27.468-04:002010-07-31T00:20:27.468-04:00Awesome!
I've been there - taking care of som...Awesome!<br /><br />I've been there - taking care of someone who is both there and not there. The moment of lucidity at the end was stunning and so true to life.<br /><br />Great character!Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23799075320597425842010-07-30T19:37:40.762-04:002010-07-30T19:37:40.762-04:00I like the way Mrs. Carruthers went from seeming d...I like the way Mrs. Carruthers went from seeming dementia to lucidity, almost at will, but you never really let us know her true clarity of mind.<br /><br />I actually went to the twenties with you as you described the ball, or at least my vision of the twenties.Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-22338450828902347942010-07-30T10:59:09.553-04:002010-07-30T10:59:09.553-04:00Aerin, great use of dialogue. You gotta love Mrs. ...Aerin, great use of dialogue. You gotta love Mrs. Caruthers! She sharper than she seemed, for sure. I really liked your mind control story from the last con(that was you wasn't it?). And with this, you'll make my short list again.Deb Smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10990130480508998598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86315204502958091002010-07-30T10:54:44.422-04:002010-07-30T10:54:44.422-04:00Hi Aerin
I can feel the senility of the characte...Hi Aerin<br /><br />I can feel the senility of the character. But those moments of clarity are incredible though they may be fleeting. Then, I had the feeling that she was saying 'Audrey' because she wanted to make sure she wasn't present and did inadvertently obtain the necklace. Wily. <br /><br />Oh, nicely done!<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37701739664486828852010-07-30T10:43:28.987-04:002010-07-30T10:43:28.987-04:00I appreciate everyone's comments particularly ...I appreciate everyone's comments particularly because I do love this community so much.<br /><br />As for interpretation (JR!) - don't look at me, I'm just the writer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59145971306728367202010-07-30T05:35:45.814-04:002010-07-30T05:35:45.814-04:00So, let me get this straight: The old woman was te...So, let me get this straight: The old woman was testing her to see if she was an honest person before rewarding her?JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-42455502586509213202010-07-30T04:05:18.094-04:002010-07-30T04:05:18.094-04:00Ditto to Dottie (This has a nice ring to it, when ...Ditto to Dottie (This has a nice ring to it, when you say it out loud. <i>Ditto to Dottie</i> :P)<br /><br />This is your best CoN entry. I honestly loved it. And I believe you have a good chance for being in the top 5. <br /><br />I know for sure it'll be one of Aine's fav. Since she has lived many such wonderful stories working in the old age home. I'm pretty sure she hasn't lived any story where she was gifted a hundred thousand worth necklace, but wonderful stories none-the-less. <br /><br />This was awesome!Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71765730731390520782010-07-29T23:57:54.681-04:002010-07-29T23:57:54.681-04:00Ha, an old lady with bite, love it. Great characte...Ha, an old lady with bite, love it. Great character and the para about the ball is very evocative. <br /><br />No Rocky Road! The cruelty of the young.McKoalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01457446171624585099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31837012456655027942010-07-29T22:44:37.125-04:002010-07-29T22:44:37.125-04:00I love the woman's voice. The chattiness remi...I love the woman's voice. The chattiness reminds me a little of an elderly woman who was my housemate in grad school. The final response in the dialogue closes this piece nicely.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88735148376149304062010-07-29T22:31:47.770-04:002010-07-29T22:31:47.770-04:00GreAt story telling. Like Oliver, I'm asking f...GreAt story telling. Like Oliver, I'm asking for more/aMore:). YL, Desichong y lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10365847893009738913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-81892536560122603082010-07-29T22:05:45.469-04:002010-07-29T22:05:45.469-04:00Wonderful touching piece.Wonderful touching piece.Timothy P. Remphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04422296532550497806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10622984323568452622010-07-29T21:00:40.481-04:002010-07-29T21:00:40.481-04:00I loved it.
That's all I can say. I just lov...I loved it.<br /><br />That's all I can say. I just loved it.February Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01078037856070486022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14253747966922524182010-07-29T20:41:57.704-04:002010-07-29T20:41:57.704-04:00Really enjoyed reading this. Love the fact that, d...Really enjoyed reading this. Love the fact that, despite calling Kate 'Audrey' throughout the story, Mrs.Carruthers' was obviously lucid when she gave Kate the key. Leaves the reader lingering a bit after reading it. NiceC.Sonberg Larsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02836809479485483042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11786233902225160162010-07-29T20:35:04.242-04:002010-07-29T20:35:04.242-04:00Aerin,
I think this is my favorite of all your CoN...Aerin,<br />I think this is my favorite of all your CoN entries. Beautiful character development that evolved through the dialogue. Great!<br />DottieDottie Camptownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00891885810903269126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13739789140642432742010-07-29T18:14:23.494-04:002010-07-29T18:14:23.494-04:00Loved the relationship between them! (And not just...Loved the relationship between them! (And not just because she got a REALLY expensive necklace out of it. LoL)Oddyoddyo13https://www.blogger.com/profile/05557994037779209704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-62242380914368729832010-07-29T16:21:29.922-04:002010-07-29T16:21:29.922-04:00Wanting more of Mrs. Carruthers! More! More!
Ditto...Wanting more of Mrs. Carruthers! More! More!<br />Ditto Janey. Love the honesty, as well as the optimism in this piece.<br />A pleasure to read.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64338055942910999292010-07-29T14:23:30.677-04:002010-07-29T14:23:30.677-04:00Wow, this is really great, Aerin. I do think there...Wow, this is really great, Aerin. I do think there's a very real tinge of senility or dementia here, but it's bang on. My Mom, sadly, has Alzheimer's, and what she actually says lately often has little connection with reality, but at times it is clear even so that she knows what she MEANS to say and what she MEANS to do. And I think your character can even be unfairly angry at her family/daughter, but that doesn't change the real hurt and the real desire that something of her magical youth, of her passion, be carried onward.<br /><br />It's very bittersweet, and I liked it a great deal.bekbekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17935766604154823539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8134546273588960422010-07-29T13:35:37.218-04:002010-07-29T13:35:37.218-04:00I. LOVE. IT.
I love how the POV goes through a su...I. LOVE. IT.<br /><br />I love how the POV goes through a subtle shift from a caregiver doing a conscientious job looking out for an old woman who might or might not be checked out in the upstairs to this insightful dowager who doesn't miss a trick.<br /><br />I also love how she slowly reveals that she fully knows what she is doing, she is not being taken advantage of. <br /><br />You rocked it, Aerin! GO!Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.com