tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post1429686607810158673..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #118Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83171227289973366692009-07-28T10:37:58.597-04:002009-07-28T10:37:58.597-04:00Your restraint and subtle use of dialogue shows re...Your restraint and subtle use of dialogue shows real skill. I really liked this one.Jaye Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09407478042834459126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85680114150872791452009-07-27T08:32:13.129-04:002009-07-27T08:32:13.129-04:00Boy, she's trying, but there's not much to...Boy, she's trying, but there's not much to work with, is there? Very well done!<br /><br />Very high scoring.<br /><br />Congratulations on Honorable Mention!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64556057198751439642009-07-23T12:16:37.299-04:002009-07-23T12:16:37.299-04:00Cleverly done. Could be boy/boy or boy/girl really...Cleverly done. Could be boy/boy or boy/girl really. Though I'd like to think it is boy/boy.<br />Sad - if only they could read each other's thoughts. Love simmers.Esther Avilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840416881970211377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53653349577249637842009-07-20T13:15:19.023-04:002009-07-20T13:15:19.023-04:00As far as I know Kirin is a boy or girl's name...As far as I know Kirin is a boy or girl's name. But I think this story works best if it's a boy / boy relationship. I loved how you showed so much though the dialogue. Really nice job.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63938390464584302612009-07-19T15:55:43.655-04:002009-07-19T15:55:43.655-04:00I'm gonna throw my hat in the ring for boy/boy...I'm gonna throw my hat in the ring for boy/boy.<br /><br />Very sweet. I must admit that I have been the unobservant object of affection in a similar situation.B. Nagelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07620736939701035617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14596419270948145602009-07-19T09:26:15.965-04:002009-07-19T09:26:15.965-04:00great dialogue.great dialogue.Dottie Camptownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00891885810903269126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-56861830105102624782009-07-17T14:24:53.412-04:002009-07-17T14:24:53.412-04:00Thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments! I...Thank you everyone for your thoughtful comments! It's so wonderful to get feeback, positive or otherwise because it helps me grow as a writer.<br /><br />And to joaquin carvel et. al: you're not being over-analytical at all. ;)Meghanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03375626649089998707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10864552389905854482009-07-17T13:56:01.220-04:002009-07-17T13:56:01.220-04:00Pete assumed boy/boy because he lives in San Franc...Pete assumed boy/boy because he lives in San Francisco.<br /><br />Okay, I thought it, too, which gives a tremendous backstory to this piece that's already so sweetly done. Love it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34297059894512712912009-07-16T20:38:21.381-04:002009-07-16T20:38:21.381-04:00Joaquin channeled me when he wrote his comment... ...Joaquin channeled me when he wrote his comment... only he did it with more panache and better vocabulary. So read his twice, cuz I agree.<br /><br />(And I assumed it was boy/boy.)PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-16285003571415480292009-07-16T14:50:45.125-04:002009-07-16T14:50:45.125-04:00I'm a 'grapey' guy myself. :)I'm a 'grapey' guy myself. :)BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-16702904367821511572009-07-16T08:58:48.703-04:002009-07-16T08:58:48.703-04:00This is beautifully and subtly done, great dialogu...This is beautifully and subtly done, great dialogue and story telling. The poignancy is so well captured.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04871239587214383387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-4815257290409339672009-07-16T05:28:37.038-04:002009-07-16T05:28:37.038-04:00I could very well connect to the punk over here. T...I could very well connect to the punk over here. The flow of dialogue was perfect.<br /><br />Dialogue fiction is my absolute favorite (Thats all I write these days :P) so I might as well be biased here when I say I like it. :)Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90287426993674906472009-07-15T17:45:30.117-04:002009-07-15T17:45:30.117-04:00i like the way this unfolds - but i am a little st...i like the way this unfolds - but i am a little stumped. seems to be some unrequited (or unnoticed) love simmering in this - i just can't tell from the names if it's boy/girl or boy/boy. i assumed boy/girl but then "dude" threw me. then that made me wonder about the choice of "grapey" over "fruity".<br /><br />it doesn't affect the subtlety of emotion you captured or the gentle, almost acquiescent melancholy you've given it - it just makes me wonder if there is more complexity here than meets the eye or if i'm just being over-analytical.<br /><br />either way, it feels young and warm and i like it.joaquin carvelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03193680725157157864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-16302193950236898312009-07-15T08:51:28.423-04:002009-07-15T08:51:28.423-04:00Nice one! I really enjoyed the dialogue and the c...Nice one! I really enjoyed the dialogue and the comfortable rapport between them.Catherine Viberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01354073276671196477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45957642329679415582009-07-14T22:04:20.396-04:002009-07-14T22:04:20.396-04:00yeah that'd be me...."Grapey"
Felt ...yeah that'd be me...."Grapey"<br /><br />Felt right at home in this story<br /><br /><br /><br />Four DinnersThe Preachermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10224135811862587701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74064184136454740742009-07-14T19:45:29.585-04:002009-07-14T19:45:29.585-04:00Great dialogue makes for a great tale
alexGreat dialogue makes for a great tale<br /><br />alexwrath999https://www.blogger.com/profile/10964105112015979524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45552064228742082032009-07-14T19:41:25.938-04:002009-07-14T19:41:25.938-04:00You have elegantly captured their casual conversat...You have elegantly captured their casual conversation and from it, you can tell how much they've hung-out together.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26875586525558380802009-07-14T19:07:05.471-04:002009-07-14T19:07:05.471-04:00grapey for the goof... works for me!grapey for the goof... works for me!laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37900480232899551882009-07-14T19:04:40.337-04:002009-07-14T19:04:40.337-04:00Oh, this is so sweet and sad. Nice romantic twist....Oh, this is so sweet and sad. Nice romantic twist.<br /><br />Awww.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.com