tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post1815361358440671570..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #168Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60677163751925634722010-01-22T14:43:08.855-05:002010-01-22T14:43:08.855-05:00Hi, I am the writer of the story... Thank you all ...Hi, I am the writer of the story... Thank you all for your wonderful comments! I wish that it was longer but I had a limit of words...250! But I would love to go back and revisit this snippet and make it longer. Perhaps into a story of their own.Nevea Lanehttp://writing.com/authors/pinklacebowsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26672861522477740392010-01-18T19:25:49.712-05:002010-01-18T19:25:49.712-05:00Sometimes the complications are worth it. Sometime...Sometimes the complications are worth it. Sometimes not. Lots to ponder here, and I loved your way of telling this!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79841679854254005362010-01-17T18:48:04.680-05:002010-01-17T18:48:04.680-05:00my caveat
Something I Would Keep
The plot. I love...<br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">my caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />The plot. I love the idea behind this, and his silhouette at the end.<br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />Show us a little more, rather than just telling us - the details of the overnight, the way his hair looked in high school, etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-15566218051047785302010-01-17T04:30:01.558-05:002010-01-17T04:30:01.558-05:00What PJD said.
I am leaving with a sad feeling.
...What PJD said.<br /><br />I am leaving with a sad feeling. <br /><br />BUT... her admittance that she is a lone wolf does make me a little skeptical. is she really a lone wolf or is it a defense mechanism that she has employed to delude herself...<br /><br />I loved this because you're making me think about the character very strongly. the sub-layers beneath the layers make this piece very very compelling...Preetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00279859240371070699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44672669085746457382010-01-16T19:26:02.920-05:002010-01-16T19:26:02.920-05:00Yes. Why did they wait until there were more compl...Yes. Why did they wait until there were more complications? It's the question a lot of people probably should ask themselves.<br /><br />Well done.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58736209310617030432010-01-16T15:26:21.508-05:002010-01-16T15:26:21.508-05:00I'd've included a bit of dialogue for that...I'd've included a bit of dialogue for that extra umphhh! Let the reader observe their interaction in the grocery store.James R. Tomlinsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-15235709747099022992010-01-16T10:31:15.892-05:002010-01-16T10:31:15.892-05:00This is a very well-written piece examining regret...This is a very well-written piece examining regrets and what happens if we re-visit the one that got away.<br /><br />If both parties were free it would have been the romantic reunion of soulmates. As it is, the wish has turned into a sad betrayal and a bunch more regrets.<br /><br />Very nicely drawn.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5777922913905859512010-01-15T13:05:48.306-05:002010-01-15T13:05:48.306-05:00These things happen. You could come up with a mill...These things happen. You could come up with a million explanations and yet they wouldn't suffice!<br />Nicely done.Kartikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01067636999700672077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-73975839253819127942010-01-14T18:09:35.476-05:002010-01-14T18:09:35.476-05:00This is very good. There is a line that once cros...This is very good. There is a line that once crossed complicates things.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1675995112713903122010-01-14T12:06:08.466-05:002010-01-14T12:06:08.466-05:00Reminds me of that Dan Folgerberg song: Same Auld ...Reminds me of that Dan Folgerberg song: Same Auld Lang SyneDeb Smythenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71997928851929556182010-01-14T03:25:40.148-05:002010-01-14T03:25:40.148-05:00The MC is very connvincing. Her turmoil comes acro...The MC is very connvincing. Her turmoil comes across really well; she first acts as if she doesn't care and then trys to rationalize the situation.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344917148662934359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77702299159978415902010-01-13T15:33:39.491-05:002010-01-13T15:33:39.491-05:00bittersweet... very emotional too, I truly liked i...bittersweet... very emotional too, I truly liked it. Guess it is one of my favorite here.lenahttp://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-65733483368484185502010-01-13T09:50:02.132-05:002010-01-13T09:50:02.132-05:00Fixed it.Fixed it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86975495381061656932010-01-13T09:32:53.667-05:002010-01-13T09:32:53.667-05:00what laurel said... and yes, a very moving piece
...what laurel said... and yes, a very moving piece<br /><br />word verif: sushadelaughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60293652372179316172010-01-13T08:19:16.428-05:002010-01-13T08:19:16.428-05:00Yes, what Laurel said, you might ask Jason to fix ...Yes, what Laurel said, you might ask Jason to fix that. But I loved this story, it was sweet, really. And I could completely understand why she did it, but sad that now she'll be left with the guild of having had an affair. Very nicely written.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63548270983567232452010-01-13T02:46:30.301-05:002010-01-13T02:46:30.301-05:00Loved the character's inner turmoil reflected ...Loved the character's inner turmoil reflected throughout the piece. Very well written. Enjoyed reading it a lot.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-80197231452139426762010-01-12T22:19:35.715-05:002010-01-12T22:19:35.715-05:00Ah yes, the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys&#...Ah yes, the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys'. My guess is they'd have never worked. Still, they've perhaps had a night to remember.<br /><br />Call me a cynic, but something tells me all her relationships will be in silhouette. As she herself admits, albeit maybe regretfully, she's a lone wolf.kashersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11154630579375002892010-01-12T19:39:39.602-05:002010-01-12T19:39:39.602-05:00I really enjoyed this piece. Fabulously written an...I really enjoyed this piece. Fabulously written and I love the contrast between the two. One's a free soul and the other is stable. A lot was experssed in a short piece. Great job.Meghanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03375626649089998707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76608280174875638672010-01-12T19:08:32.424-05:002010-01-12T19:08:32.424-05:00This is so good, so bittersweet, and an evocative ...This is so good, so bittersweet, and an evocative account of regret. The ONLY reason I bother with this minor, minor nit is because the writing is so good.<br /><br /><i>Why we never went pass the ‘friend zone’ in our high school glory days I never knew</i><br /><br />Did you mean <i>past</i>?<br /><br />You really captured a feeling here. The "what might have been" we all grapple with from time to time. Awesome.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.com