tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post2340825661029010857..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #142Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-2442229798926432282010-01-18T18:24:47.393-05:002010-01-18T18:24:47.393-05:00Chilling story - excellent writing! So much packed...Chilling story - excellent writing! So much packed into so few words. My compliments.<br /><br />~ Corra McFeydonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37889197484260396492010-01-18T12:57:31.122-05:002010-01-18T12:57:31.122-05:00WOW. You took a very common theme in this contest ...WOW. You took a very common theme in this contest and made it unique.<br />Very vivid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-82067564949796177222010-01-18T12:20:18.444-05:002010-01-18T12:20:18.444-05:00Deliciously wicked! I loved the birdseed part!Deliciously wicked! I loved the birdseed part!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48384812539905231092010-01-18T11:51:11.038-05:002010-01-18T11:51:11.038-05:00Dark and vengeful. I like it.Dark and vengeful. I like it.Rabid Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307255127156087170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-9858326940318749882010-01-17T21:33:41.258-05:002010-01-17T21:33:41.258-05:00Excellent description throughout, in a unique take...Excellent description throughout, in a unique take on this picture. The words just flow wonderfully from start to finish to create a compelling tale. Great job!Christian Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03160609304010597116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11090057407720605522010-01-17T21:07:57.389-05:002010-01-17T21:07:57.389-05:00Hum, hum, I thought I already commented here. Did...Hum, hum, I thought I already commented here. Did I not? Rats.<br /><br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">my caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />"drops a scrapbook feather" is a wicked cool image, so perfectly efficient; you've done better than anyone else, I think, in cleverly using the bird theme throughout ("chirps," "henpecks")<br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />"It comes to her, this overwhelming need" etc....I'd remove the "it comes to her" - if it's overwhelming, then maybe that's your verb?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68236082725332038412010-01-17T15:03:20.782-05:002010-01-17T15:03:20.782-05:00I loved all the word usage in this! "seeds&qu...I loved all the word usage in this! "seeds" for example. :) great job!Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70017064413284763632010-01-17T08:40:08.571-05:002010-01-17T08:40:08.571-05:00That was some god writing.
I loved the first lin...That was some god writing. <br /><br />I loved the first line. Got me all interested. <br />The interaction was convincing. The style of narration was good. The characterization was also commendable. Even the unseen husband came into focus. <br />Liked.Preetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00279859240371070699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-78298541874151890032010-01-16T15:13:59.223-05:002010-01-16T15:13:59.223-05:00yay!! i'm lovin' this character.yay!! i'm lovin' this character.quin brownehttp://www.quinbrowne-words.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88905258036761398512010-01-16T07:44:20.554-05:002010-01-16T07:44:20.554-05:00Clever, sad beautiful and an almighty kick at the ...Clever, sad beautiful and an almighty kick at the end. <br />Great writing.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60121059585423499212010-01-16T02:14:23.613-05:002010-01-16T02:14:23.613-05:00nice story!nice story!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71411038827891411652010-01-15T18:29:43.234-05:002010-01-15T18:29:43.234-05:00You got a lot of story into a short space and stuc...You got a lot of story into a short space and stuck to a great theme, used in her forgotten past in many ways. How tragic that her life-long love of ornithology should turn to insane murder, and that then she should forget it all save for vague, confused snatches like this.Barry J. Northernhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12078136594892291058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-65933028499728598862010-01-15T16:12:09.606-05:002010-01-15T16:12:09.606-05:00I absolutely love the composition- especially my u...I absolutely love the composition- especially my understanding of this crazed and vulnerable old woman into the tough old bird who coldly disposed of the man who wronged her. <br /><br />I appreciated the heck out of this story.Stephanie Greennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68991033418704941542010-01-15T14:32:33.426-05:002010-01-15T14:32:33.426-05:00Losing my memory is one of the scariest things to ...Losing my memory is one of the scariest things to me. But sometimes, just sometimes, it’s a blessing. <br /><br />Great piece. <br /><br />-Tim <br />#138<br />http://timremp.blogspot.com/Timothy P. Remphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04422296532550497806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5710942480736697742010-01-15T06:50:45.945-05:002010-01-15T06:50:45.945-05:00Hard to say if it's a good thing that she does...Hard to say if it's a good thing that she doesn't remember the murder, but her angst was put in perspective.Kartikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01067636999700672077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-27166994979574249752010-01-15T03:54:43.108-05:002010-01-15T03:54:43.108-05:00Very complete and satisfying.Very complete and satisfying.McKoalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01457446171624585099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-9731845697408692902010-01-14T13:55:13.773-05:002010-01-14T13:55:13.773-05:00She doesn’t remember killing the man in the woods ...<em>She doesn’t remember killing the man in the woods or sprinkling birdseed over bullet holes in his chest.</em> - brilliant.<br />I loved that the character is old, supposed to be sweet, playing cribbage - not daydreaming of diabolical revenge - and anything with birds in it is cool to me.EChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09359075647077590741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1865643850960934792010-01-13T21:56:14.058-05:002010-01-13T21:56:14.058-05:00Very well written and I loved the setup. The end w...Very well written and I loved the setup. The end was fantastic!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88675102982511478522010-01-13T12:36:45.810-05:002010-01-13T12:36:45.810-05:00Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all the feedb...Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all the feedback.Angel Zapatahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01166540490117426226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-47618139635816818322010-01-13T12:34:23.023-05:002010-01-13T12:34:23.023-05:00Whoa - absolutely delicious.
I'm sad (for her...Whoa - absolutely delicious.<br /><br />I'm sad (for her) that she's in jail, but glad she got him, especially the way she did it. <br /><br />How lovely she can forget it all - despite the feathered reminder.<br /><br />Really enjoyed this.Lily Childshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15861288507716873813noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74357553189527509522010-01-13T11:01:35.201-05:002010-01-13T11:01:35.201-05:00Great imagery. I was surprised she was in a priso...Great imagery. I was surprised she was in a prison hospital because I had her having senility in a home, but then the story unfolds. Sad tale this. Excellent writing.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5661089649267370042010-01-13T10:52:36.875-05:002010-01-13T10:52:36.875-05:00Wonderful. 'caught between the bygone and the ...Wonderful. 'caught between the bygone and the lost'. Oh, I know what they mean.Paul D Brazillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12881642426845398389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79676468979553231302010-01-13T10:51:51.395-05:002010-01-13T10:51:51.395-05:00Just excellent writing.
Loved the way everythin...Just excellent writing. <br /><br />Loved the way everything fit together and flowed to the macabre end. <br /><br />The descriptions, like "A vocation as ornithologist henpecks memory, briefly seeds failing brain cells." made this piece.<br /><br />Great piece.Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30780207665712948072010-01-13T08:13:51.600-05:002010-01-13T08:13:51.600-05:00This one's very good.This one's very good.austerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16839224877080864005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-22106725238864918482010-01-13T06:03:31.063-05:002010-01-13T06:03:31.063-05:00Excellent piece, Angel. Great ending.
Regards, D...Excellent piece, Angel. Great ending.<br /><br />Regards, David.David Barberhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05006533626998905560noreply@blogger.com