tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post2509940153943801432..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #134Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89620516169725707912010-01-18T19:19:10.819-05:002010-01-18T19:19:10.819-05:00Aiya. I thought it was a junkie piece about an ov...Aiya. I thought it was a junkie piece about an overdose.<br /><br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">my caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />I love the first line, enigmatic and philosophical - it's a great hook.<br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />Throw in a few details - even in poetry form, I'd love to <i>feel</i> this a little more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53600884160163467852010-01-18T11:51:57.073-05:002010-01-18T11:51:57.073-05:00Very nice, but I like what JaneyV did. Makes it mo...Very nice, but I like what JaneyV did. Makes it more powerful.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60115660317310546502010-01-17T21:28:16.316-05:002010-01-17T21:28:16.316-05:00A definite sense of urgency, cast in a dark mood. ...A definite sense of urgency, cast in a dark mood. Nice.Christian Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03160609304010597116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-35207613383191808322010-01-17T00:13:21.018-05:002010-01-17T00:13:21.018-05:00I'm in agreement with the change in form. I ha...I'm in agreement with the change in form. I had difficulty reading this as a story, especially "Blurred vision is new to you." How would the narrator know? Change the form, and for whatever reason, it's no longer a distraction.James R. Tomlinsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-72802930073402716372010-01-16T10:51:54.065-05:002010-01-16T10:51:54.065-05:00Thank you, Janey V! I wish I had thought to presen...Thank you, Janey V! I wish I had thought to present it that way. I think I have a fear of poetry.Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83139482976318945082010-01-16T06:24:26.207-05:002010-01-16T06:24:26.207-05:00I think that this is very beautiful - so beautiful...I think that this is very beautiful - so beautiful, in fact, that it could be written as a poem.<br /><br />Look at me as if I exist. <br />My wings are spread in flight. <br />I have somewhere to go. <br />You are drawn to me. <br />You wish to ride my back, <br />feel the wind, <br />soar higher, <br />and higher until the fear of flying is lost. <br />The branches seem fragile, <br />but here you are weightless. <br />Join me in flight, <br />and know what it means to be alive.<br /><br />Blurred vision is new to you, <br />but do not mourn your loss of sight, <br />soon, all will be understood. <br />Reach toward the sky. <br />Touch me, <br />climb into the void and fly. <br />Finally, we are together.<br /><br />Blackness.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55791357153976933562010-01-13T12:42:18.209-05:002010-01-13T12:42:18.209-05:00Yearning to know the unknown.
Very nice, Michael.Yearning to know the unknown.<br />Very nice, Michael.Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02099808690177823190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-61321978222880932882010-01-13T11:20:49.890-05:002010-01-13T11:20:49.890-05:00I'm seeing this as a riddle in a way. I think...I'm seeing this as a riddle in a way. I think Pete has it right, an angel, or the perhaps an angel of death. Nice.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91147395454203478552010-01-12T23:11:43.742-05:002010-01-12T23:11:43.742-05:00I thought it was a piece about death and the fligh...I thought it was a piece about death and the flight of it.<br /><br />I like it very much.<br /><br />Jean AnnJean Ann Williamsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-47783362026857314212010-01-12T17:38:02.081-05:002010-01-12T17:38:02.081-05:00It seems to me that an angel is speaking here and ...It seems to me that an angel is speaking here and that this is a story of faith.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63984271055109928922010-01-12T14:38:53.147-05:002010-01-12T14:38:53.147-05:00Just few words leave such a strong impression. How...Just few words leave such a strong impression. However I guess I would like some more here.lenahttp://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53125900614105587472010-01-12T11:38:30.078-05:002010-01-12T11:38:30.078-05:00I'm with kashers.
Excellent writing and so fe...I'm with kashers.<br /><br />Excellent writing and so few words to convey everything.<br /><br />Very impressive stuff!!!DILLIGAFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16520650650468676361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59058626166488784422010-01-12T11:21:36.228-05:002010-01-12T11:21:36.228-05:00Dark, compulsive sense of motion and beckoning. I&...Dark, compulsive sense of motion and beckoning. I've no idea what is going on but it doesn't seem important...Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51952524270342491262010-01-12T10:18:27.237-05:002010-01-12T10:18:27.237-05:00compelling...compelling...laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77615098651511250712010-01-12T10:07:09.415-05:002010-01-12T10:07:09.415-05:00Thank you for the comments! I'm not used to ge...Thank you for the comments! I'm not used to getting feedback on my writing style. When I looked at the picture I saw a black hole in the shape of a hawk, kind of like a tear in the fabric of our world.Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-38695134667044302052010-01-12T07:55:37.786-05:002010-01-12T07:55:37.786-05:00Strangely effective piece. The first line, though ...Strangely effective piece. The first line, though simply put, seems to be the ultimate plea for faith. This is followed by a 'Come Fly With Me' request, which presumably is taken up. And yet, in doing so, the conclusion appears to be a betrayal, i.e. 'blackness' and nothing else. Could it be a wry comment as to the merits of blind faith.kashersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91746640117839789762010-01-12T07:52:42.306-05:002010-01-12T07:52:42.306-05:00Aah, in the company of birds we leave this mortal ...Aah, in the company of birds we leave this mortal coil. There is a wonderful, lyrical resonance here.Tessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05233122532137654099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-73778939998691575092010-01-12T02:20:18.680-05:002010-01-12T02:20:18.680-05:00Not sure if I grasped all you tried to convey. But...Not sure if I grasped all you tried to convey. But I loved the sense of compulsion the voice creates.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37002230273090219452010-01-12T00:52:49.457-05:002010-01-12T00:52:49.457-05:00There is a strong sense of movement in this piece....There is a strong sense of movement in this piece.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344917148662934359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79743533018835754262010-01-11T23:35:00.676-05:002010-01-11T23:35:00.676-05:00Nicely done in so few words.Nicely done in so few words.Anthony Rapinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11581208296144295224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-66816748177484359772010-01-11T20:09:32.844-05:002010-01-11T20:09:32.844-05:00I love the use of the imperative throughout. It cr...I love the use of the imperative throughout. It creates a high sense of urgency. Excellent!<br /><br />NevineNevine Sultanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08794887684860140819noreply@blogger.com