tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post284923561302050494..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: I Wouldn't StandJason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31610015733452654022008-11-24T00:02:00.000-05:002008-11-24T00:02:00.000-05:00Szelsofa, yes, one does wonder about the reason, b...Szelsofa, yes, one does wonder about the reason, but you're right. In this last moment, it's the intensity that holds.<BR/><BR/>Merelyme, I've had those thoughts about people being gunned down. What they were thinking during their walk. How they were fed thin lies, but how strongly they would have clung to them, hoping that the unthinkable wasn't happening. Something about the forest picture evoked this moment, and the two thoughts came together.<BR/><BR/>Sameera, thanks, my friend!<BR/><BR/>Miladysa, and how violently the blackness must have come.<BR/><BR/>Kaye, amazingly perceptive, as always. You've capture the pain of the piece. Fearing the trembling-knee fear, imagining conquering it, then experiencing even worse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-56402001868690184622008-11-22T21:54:00.000-05:002008-11-22T21:54:00.000-05:00Very cleverly written. You certainly kept my atte...Very cleverly written. You certainly kept my attention throughout. That last line is unsettling - therefore, good writing. <BR/><BR/>I like how we are privy to the protagonist's thoughts. He wants to be the person who jumps up and screams - Not me buddy...you're not gonna effing kill me - and if you do I'm taking you with me. However, in the end, he was like the ones he rebuked. (through no fault of his own) This was so realistic.K.Lawson Gilberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11204234196229710524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40984509287985969092008-11-22T19:00:00.000-05:002008-11-22T19:00:00.000-05:00Ouch! Great writing - & scary!Ouch! <BR/><BR/>Great writing - & scary!Miladysahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08065128196666157541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53671357470934474812008-11-22T18:04:00.000-05:002008-11-22T18:04:00.000-05:00Very powerful narration!Could feel the protagonist...Very powerful narration!Could feel the protagonist.Sameera Ansarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05249126041067834608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6631859763894521242008-11-22T18:02:00.000-05:002008-11-22T18:02:00.000-05:00Very dramatic...I am definitely feeling this piece...Very dramatic...I am definitely feeling this piece. What inspired this?Synchronicityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07631238942909923311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-80631710415535587892008-11-22T11:08:00.000-05:002008-11-22T11:08:00.000-05:00Wow, very powerful one, Jason. I somehow wish to l...Wow, very powerful one, Jason. I somehow wish to look behind, to find some reason, but there's no definite need to have one here.<BR/>It's ultimate as it is.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18695923697627681642008-11-22T08:36:00.000-05:002008-11-22T08:36:00.000-05:00Janey, thanks for the feedback! An uncommon foray...Janey, thanks for the feedback! An uncommon foray into first person voice.<BR/><BR/>Aggie, not a deer. They handle being hunted very differently. A deer would wind like a spring and leap at the first sense of danger. It's all in the run.<BR/><BR/>Paisley, yes, that's how I kind of thought of it too. A strange murder. A very unexpected one far from help.<BR/><BR/>Sarah, very true. I've felt that anger, watching films or seeing photos of war atrocities--people marched and gunned down. I want them to run at their killers, even though it won't change the outcome. But somehow I think this is more the truth.<BR/><BR/>Ello, thanks! I'm very comfortable in this style these days. It's minimalist in the sense of word count, but I shoot for (no pun intended) a very immediate and vivid experience.<BR/><BR/>Charles, I'm eager to see how this sense of immediacy works in novel length.<BR/><BR/>Aine, aw, that was a sweet sentiment. :) Thanks, even though it's very much the comfort of fiction.<BR/><BR/>Roxicsgirl, welcome! If you felt that raw immediacy, then I did my job. Thanks.<BR/><BR/>JR, you have a chance, at least. I say, go for it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67484327338147773642008-11-22T06:04:00.000-05:002008-11-22T06:04:00.000-05:00I'm running faster at the sound of "clack."I'm running faster at the sound of "clack."JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49348050630209290312008-11-21T15:28:00.000-05:002008-11-21T15:28:00.000-05:00That was really touching.. not in a good way, but ...That was really touching.. not in a good way, but I can actually feel what is meant to be felt.Roxicsgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17194395763881949463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18464964752532853132008-11-21T14:50:00.000-05:002008-11-21T14:50:00.000-05:00Great writing--- but man, it's very disturbing sin...Great writing--- but man, it's very disturbing since I often hear your voice when I read your posts.<BR/><BR/>Glad it's fiction.<BR/>:)Ainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402176500997528105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-54057440382865753572008-11-21T14:37:00.000-05:002008-11-21T14:37:00.000-05:00You definitely put us right in the moment here. V...You definitely put us right in the moment here. Very strong.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-20890778058851107862008-11-21T12:38:00.000-05:002008-11-21T12:38:00.000-05:00Wow Jason - this is F**king awesome! It's such a p...Wow Jason - this is F**king awesome! It's such a powerful vignette! You totally caught me up in the character so that I feel like I totally know him even though I don't even know his name. I love the viciousness of his thoughts and yet his hands pushing away the barrel was so real to me. I loved it.Ello - Ellen Ohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311917335471167591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-87201690638010377962008-11-21T10:39:00.000-05:002008-11-21T10:39:00.000-05:00I don't think it's cowardice. I think it's more li...I don't think it's cowardice. I think it's more like bitter acceptance. Yet those hands reaching out are the last second, instinctual <I>please</I> in the face of another's deadly rationality. <BR/><BR/>Fear overrides anger every time. Especially when the consequences of loss are so everything, so dire.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49326969297276374102008-11-21T07:38:00.000-05:002008-11-21T07:38:00.000-05:00i have been watching way to many cold case files.....i have been watching way to many cold case files... this so sounds like one of the poor people they chronicle, hunted down in some strange woods by someone they only just met.<BR/><BR/>what an emotionally charged piece...paisleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08231453820728399262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-57661177660599381302008-11-21T04:23:00.000-05:002008-11-21T04:23:00.000-05:00I couldn't work out if you are a soldier or a deer...I couldn't work out if you are a soldier or a deer ... but it would be awful to be hunted either way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-62868221999707915152008-11-21T03:23:00.000-05:002008-11-21T03:23:00.000-05:00There's a fast beating heart in the pacing - the a...There's a fast beating heart in the pacing - the alarm of the hunted! The fear is palpable as is the defiance. No surrender -even at the end. Love it!JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.com