tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post2867867639301329680..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Forties Club Finalist #38Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77612210654366926992010-08-01T00:05:00.840-04:002010-08-01T00:05:00.840-04:00What a greedy man! I like this - I like your descr...What a greedy man! I like this - I like your descriptions, especially, of the gems coming out of her mouth. Nicely done!Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53086799637325268152010-07-30T17:52:15.754-04:002010-07-30T17:52:15.754-04:00Something about the way you wrote this just made t...Something about the way you wrote this just made the images jump off the page (er...screen). So it was like I was seeing rather than reading it. <br />Talent on your end or exhausted hallucination on mine? I'd vote for the former!Vincent Kalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04625863843215035035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51066968279527721922010-07-29T18:47:03.949-04:002010-07-29T18:47:03.949-04:00"With every word, a precious gem fell from he..."With every word, a precious gem fell from her lips to the ground." Love it. I did not expect it.Aaron Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07685361642254300953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18811485669581486752010-07-29T06:30:48.868-04:002010-07-29T06:30:48.868-04:00Oh no!!! Don't do it. Surely treating her wit...Oh no!!! Don't do it. Surely treating her with kindness would yield more in the long run - I mean if you're going to be a greedy bastard anyway. This left me feeling so disappointed in the human condition in the same way that Josh's Angel story did.<br /><br />But boy you wrote it well!JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74783079484508243432010-07-29T01:27:45.363-04:002010-07-29T01:27:45.363-04:00Am I the only one thinking her mother was a moron?...Am I the only one thinking her mother was a moron?<br /><br />Nice switch-up on old fairy tale tropes.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71341974337551583192010-07-28T17:45:40.785-04:002010-07-28T17:45:40.785-04:00If this were the first page of a novel I'd get...If this were the first page of a novel I'd get my blanket and hot tea ready.<br /><br />Smooth writing. Great job.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64704389760707025482010-07-28T14:28:57.829-04:002010-07-28T14:28:57.829-04:00So much for fairy tale endings. Nice job.So much for fairy tale endings. Nice job.Deb Smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10990130480508998598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1408343807209476092010-07-28T10:22:20.249-04:002010-07-28T10:22:20.249-04:00Sorry, well done, madame!Sorry, well done, madame!Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-38191389544828627152010-07-28T00:44:20.629-04:002010-07-28T00:44:20.629-04:00Hi LynnCee!
I too thought he was going to be a kn...Hi LynnCee!<br /><br />I too thought he was going to be a knight in shining armor... too bad it was tarnished armor... Nicely done!<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85914211480599569492010-07-27T21:43:30.848-04:002010-07-27T21:43:30.848-04:00Thank you all so much! I've had fairy tales on...Thank you all so much! I've had fairy tales on the brain lately and this one almost wrote itself. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)elleceehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00871404318170818800noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64759271494874478042010-07-26T23:11:58.775-04:002010-07-26T23:11:58.775-04:00Oooo, an appropriately dark start to a fairy tale....Oooo, an appropriately dark start to a fairy tale. Grim and well told.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64331371466734946632010-07-26T18:54:01.589-04:002010-07-26T18:54:01.589-04:00Delightfully wicked! I love the dark humor in the...Delightfully wicked! I love the dark humor in the last line.Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14751567478811396094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-82630518070685522862010-07-26T18:19:30.398-04:002010-07-26T18:19:30.398-04:00Nothing good can come from woodsmen with axes and ...Nothing good can come from woodsmen with axes and little girls. Except for a fascinating story. Well done, sir!Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-66439757659998164432010-07-26T09:12:07.324-04:002010-07-26T09:12:07.324-04:00I have a twisted mind. When you wrote she coughed ...I have a twisted mind. When you wrote she coughed blood. I thought the man would cut her open hoping to find more thinking someone made her swallow it. Gross I know. I should stop watching those super-dark movies. ;)Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11252543284125197792010-07-26T06:15:30.461-04:002010-07-26T06:15:30.461-04:00Nice ambiguity as to his character.Nice ambiguity as to his character.Shona Snowdenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02588447219623308333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63935852956328549622010-07-25T21:51:37.551-04:002010-07-25T21:51:37.551-04:00Selfish, greedy, (#&%&#&. :) Nice twis...Selfish, greedy, (#&%&#&. :) Nice twist to the end. :)Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-82642730831333839272010-07-25T12:39:01.733-04:002010-07-25T12:39:01.733-04:00Amazing what people do out of greed.Amazing what people do out of greed.Oddyoddyo13https://www.blogger.com/profile/05557994037779209704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51929865346252100992010-07-25T03:46:24.033-04:002010-07-25T03:46:24.033-04:00Ditto JRDitto JRRohanhttp://cachememory.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-38954452600449261882010-07-24T21:05:19.925-04:002010-07-24T21:05:19.925-04:00Here's the interesting thing with your story: ...Here's the interesting thing with your story: As a reader you kept me guessing as to whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. It kept switching as the action unfolded. NIcely done.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-9475144435248365182010-07-24T20:33:25.559-04:002010-07-24T20:33:25.559-04:00Hah! Yeah. Pragmatic to the core. Very well done.Hah! Yeah. Pragmatic to the core. Very well done.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-16780222965289303712010-07-24T20:24:06.682-04:002010-07-24T20:24:06.682-04:00Protective when she's just a little girl. But...Protective when she's just a little girl. But when she turns into a cash cow, he turns exploitative.<br /><br />I guess this is just the way it is with men and little girls.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76722928128208878072010-07-24T18:56:45.351-04:002010-07-24T18:56:45.351-04:00Hey, great minds think alike, I guess! I love the ...Hey, great minds think alike, I guess! I love the last line in this one, and the way the woodsman ends up to be the villain here. Nicely done!Kimberly B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06915078905615036882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-69770169796659893622010-07-24T18:03:57.279-04:002010-07-24T18:03:57.279-04:00Poor little girl. I really thought he would rescue...Poor little girl. I really thought he would rescue her and then ... the rope. <br />Nicely done.Esther Avilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840416881970211377noreply@blogger.com