tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post306101683943328858..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #37Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-69441460861905745252007-08-13T18:12:00.000-04:002007-08-13T18:12:00.000-04:00Sarah, thank you for the comment. I wrote her and...Sarah, thank you for the comment. I wrote her and modeled her after my own daughter so the voice was rather easy. The motion was a different story.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17335415338155220244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68913093705436733712007-08-07T22:40:00.000-04:002007-08-07T22:40:00.000-04:00Ann, you really nailed the voice on this one. Her ...Ann, you really nailed the voice on this one. Her heartbreaking passive-aggressiveness feels so authentic, and I can only be glad that my daughter is still only four years old. Beautiful attention to detail, too.<BR/><BR/>Congratulations on your win, and I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-75234130464167044052007-08-07T20:14:00.000-04:002007-08-07T20:14:00.000-04:00Victor, thank you so much. It certainly was and I...Victor, thank you so much. It certainly was and I certainly will!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37710918194615436182007-08-07T14:16:00.000-04:002007-08-07T14:16:00.000-04:00Ann,congratulations on your win. This was some tou...Ann,<BR/><BR/>congratulations on your win. This was some tough competition! Keep writingAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63675521319375252832007-08-06T09:15:00.000-04:002007-08-06T09:15:00.000-04:00Briliantdonkey, yes, the story is partially based ...Briliantdonkey, yes, the story is partially based on my own daughter who has the Seinfeld idea of the truth, which I found common for kids her age.<BR/><BR/>the quoibler, thank you ... I think. lol<BR/><BR/>I really appreciate the comments. Best part of the contest for me... plus the reading.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-62493982688052699652007-08-05T20:42:00.000-04:002007-08-05T20:42:00.000-04:00As a writer, I really enjoyed this story. As a mo...As a writer, I really enjoyed this story. As a mommy, it scared the crap out of me! :)The Quoiblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13632853309100258560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-36617631964854218812007-08-05T19:10:00.000-04:002007-08-05T19:10:00.000-04:00Nice job. Kind of reminds me of a quote from seinf...Nice job. Kind of reminds me of a quote from seinfeld made by George who is tryingt to teach Jerry to beat the lie detector test. He says"It's NOT a lie if YOU believe it'. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for the read<BR/><BR/>BDbriliantdonkeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86838420568356079642007-08-05T08:59:00.000-04:002007-08-05T08:59:00.000-04:00Bernita, very insightful. As all your comments se...Bernita, very insightful. As all your comments seem to be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91482249855680383602007-08-05T08:55:00.000-04:002007-08-05T08:55:00.000-04:00She strikes me as almost sociopathic.Bleak.But thi...She strikes me as almost sociopathic.<BR/>Bleak.<BR/>But this is very well done.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88505787299237832002007-08-03T08:03:00.000-04:002007-08-03T08:03:00.000-04:00JLB, thank you for noticing. Much appreciated.JLB, thank you for noticing. Much appreciated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-25708300683982457132007-08-02T14:35:00.000-04:002007-08-02T14:35:00.000-04:00I can tell you put a lot of careful thought into y...I can tell you put a lot of careful thought into your main character - it leaves a lot of room for the reader to meet her halfway. Very nice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31866247795331595242007-08-02T14:19:00.000-04:002007-08-02T14:19:00.000-04:00Thank you, absolute. You made me blush.Thank you, absolute. You made me blush.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31076092915412323252007-08-02T03:01:00.000-04:002007-08-02T03:01:00.000-04:00This is brilliant - nice interplay of personal emo...This is brilliant - nice interplay of personal emotional conflict - and the innocence of youth as it tries to make sense of adult life. Very well written and captured - and good voice.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04871239587214383387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-22982074427579815402007-08-01T13:18:00.000-04:002007-08-01T13:18:00.000-04:00Angel, I'm a mom and my daughter never ceases to k...Angel, I'm a mom and my daughter never ceases to keep me on my toes. I remember what it was like to be her age though. Thanks for your comment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51158777294337503942007-08-01T12:30:00.000-04:002007-08-01T12:30:00.000-04:00teehee... i bet some moms may start thinking twice...teehee... i bet some moms may start thinking twice now... very cool!AngelConradiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09423318903817661244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11670843512072435572007-07-31T14:32:00.000-04:002007-07-31T14:32:00.000-04:00Victor, you didn't miss it. I wrote it and then su...Victor, you didn't miss it. I wrote it and then submitted another one.Hoodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17616427797201977083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68656780463578683252007-07-31T09:24:00.000-04:002007-07-31T09:24:00.000-04:00Thank you again for all the comments. This is my ...<B>Thank you again for all the comments. This is my favorite part of contests. I didn't realize how twisted it would seem for the teenager to look at her mother like this. I thought it was reality. And I think at 14, a girl just isn't ready to be emotionally "with" a boy... even if they're together physically. I was trying to drive that point home. Oh, there is no other virginity piece. Another person said they had one, but didn't submit it.</B>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1247478033996349862007-07-31T09:20:00.000-04:002007-07-31T09:20:00.000-04:00Like Katherine N. said, I also noticed the contras...Like Katherine N. said, I also noticed the contrast between the emotions the young girl has towards her Mom, lying AND the complete lack of emotion towards the boy she's with. It makes the story a bit sick, though well written.<BR/>I like how the elements of the forest represent the action and feelings that take place (dampness, penetration).SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-21980995036296276182007-07-31T07:32:00.000-04:002007-07-31T07:32:00.000-04:00Did i miss the other virginity piece? This is a ni...Did i miss the other virginity piece? This is a nice take on "young love."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8965116159252148072007-07-30T20:21:00.000-04:002007-07-30T20:21:00.000-04:00Daring subject and a dash of vulnerability. That ...Daring subject and a dash of vulnerability. That is a recipe for a good piece. Try this again with 500 words and work that dialogue. Good show!Victor Bravo Monchego, Jrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05251479110131293284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-47507350247226453102007-07-30T18:03:00.000-04:002007-07-30T18:03:00.000-04:00This is a chilling view of just how far some child...This is a chilling view of just how far some children can go to validate their own actions. The pedestal she puts herself on above her lying mother is downright creepy when you consider her lack of depth of emotion. Great read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64128037578856742162007-07-30T17:15:00.000-04:002007-07-30T17:15:00.000-04:00Thank you for the comments. The idea of the virgi...<B>Thank you for the comments. The idea of the virginity just kind of hit me. I'm glad it was appreciated. So far I'm loving reading the others.</B>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-87387824714599211632007-07-30T15:55:00.000-04:002007-07-30T15:55:00.000-04:00This is great. I love how you used the light shini...This is great. I love how you used the light shining through the canopy to symbolize what was happening.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34447789762714876042007-07-30T15:07:00.000-04:002007-07-30T15:07:00.000-04:00Wow, the first story I wrote for this contest was ...Wow, the first story I wrote for this contest was also about a girl losing her virginity. Great minds, eh?<BR/><BR/>I'm happy to tell you yours is better than mine was.<BR/><BR/>Very nice.Hoodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17616427797201977083noreply@blogger.com