tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post3096989121655031475..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #38Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67767470457762137622009-01-20T21:46:00.000-05:002009-01-20T21:46:00.000-05:00Great job with pacing, entertainment value, techni...Great job with pacing, entertainment value, technical skill, storytelling, and voice! And welcome to the Forties Club!!<BR/><BR/>Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90089981512712517992009-01-19T20:57:00.000-05:002009-01-19T20:57:00.000-05:00Great descriptions, good writing.Good job with the...Great descriptions, good writing.<BR/>Good job with the imageryEsther Avilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840416881970211377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-16317405974088439812009-01-17T13:44:00.000-05:002009-01-17T13:44:00.000-05:00Oh...Great imagery within and without.Oh...<BR/>Great imagery within and without.Catherine Viberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01354073276671196477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-38794948612116008932009-01-16T20:32:00.000-05:002009-01-16T20:32:00.000-05:00I love that she tells herself she's not worth noti...I love that she tells herself she's not worth noticing, but she still feels conspicuous. You did a great job capturing that panic.Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07191011478662020856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-25812013968751021252009-01-10T23:24:00.000-05:002009-01-10T23:24:00.000-05:00Poignant story, Sarah. I cringed for her, and felt...Poignant story, Sarah. I cringed for her, and felt that deep embarrassment. Those whispers in the head can sometimes feel like shouts. <BR/><BR/>Very strong writing. The weight of emotion and the desperation to hide came across very well.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-69893228340577780572009-01-10T14:06:00.000-05:002009-01-10T14:06:00.000-05:00nicely done, sarah... my character goes up the dow...nicely done, sarah... my character goes up the down, too :)laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40826789275266299992009-01-10T13:00:00.000-05:002009-01-10T13:00:00.000-05:00My sister has clinical Social Anxiety so I know th...My sister has clinical Social Anxiety so I know this is an accurate description - really well-invoked, nicely writtenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55655313229910691202009-01-10T12:12:00.000-05:002009-01-10T12:12:00.000-05:00I like this very much. Inventive and original.I like this very much. Inventive and original.K.Lawson Gilberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11204234196229710524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70880866199440621742009-01-10T06:19:00.000-05:002009-01-10T06:19:00.000-05:00Oh don't cry.. embrace going against the crowd. Y...Oh don't cry.. embrace going against the crowd. You capture the panic in your character beautifully and how she tries to reason using her therapist's voice all the while reason is telling her that people <I>are</I> staring.<BR/><BR/>We've all had self-conscious moments (personally I can't read aloud except to my children) so she's a character we can empathize with as well as sympathize with. Nice work.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31741703246256911832009-01-10T05:17:00.000-05:002009-01-10T05:17:00.000-05:00i was going to laugh when i read 'I’m going the wr...i was going to laugh when i read 'I’m going the wrong way. Walking up the down escalator' but the end of the same sentence is really touching...very nicely writtn.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34989133590219970372009-01-10T04:29:00.000-05:002009-01-10T04:29:00.000-05:00i liked the way you describe everything going on i...i liked the way you describe everything going on in her head. It sounds so realistic, and at times i so can relate.<BR/>Really very well done :)Lenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09787400183444796423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19397768036037721042009-01-10T04:16:00.000-05:002009-01-10T04:16:00.000-05:00That was touching,I can empathize with her so well...That was touching,I can empathize with her so well.Sameera Ansarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05249126041067834608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5649057190304440072009-01-10T00:29:00.000-05:002009-01-10T00:29:00.000-05:00I like your description of the crowd: the press of...I like your description of the crowd: the press of people. It's a strong mental image, very identifiable. I can feel the weight of everyone working against your main character.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.com