tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post3106387741809442427..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #175Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-72120349823676036962010-01-19T13:55:12.222-05:002010-01-19T13:55:12.222-05:00A beautiful capture of guilt and learning in words...A beautiful capture of guilt and learning in words! Great readHarishhttp://www.oxygenflow.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77254087314775974002010-01-18T19:42:49.453-05:002010-01-18T19:42:49.453-05:00We just saw Avatar, and this reminds me of a scene...We just saw Avatar, and this reminds me of a scene from that. Nicely written!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-41881598984701125972010-01-17T23:09:58.325-05:002010-01-17T23:09:58.325-05:00I'm not against hunting, either, but not a haw...I'm not against hunting, either, but not a hawk. So, this is nice and enjoyed the easy flow of words.<br /><br />Great job!Jean Ann Williamsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63772882134840248122010-01-17T17:59:43.279-05:002010-01-17T17:59:43.279-05:00Hello, hello! So happy to see you here - Facebook ...Hello, hello! So happy to see you here - Facebook keeps telling me to friend you but since I'm not as cute as Steve Parrish, I wasn't sure you'd accept...ANYway...<br /><br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">my caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />YIKES are you just exhausted working multiple meanings into such short space? I'm just hugely impressed with all the layers.<br /><br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />"Suddenly the dazed hawk" - the word "up" is used twice, which on one hand I'd keep and on the other I wouldn't. But it's a small tweak.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51961219668902380992010-01-17T16:30:38.668-05:002010-01-17T16:30:38.668-05:00Great character development in such a small space,...Great character development in such a small space, and a wonderful snapshot of the father/son relationship.Kurt Hendrickshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16183333362118745153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8946090055815361422010-01-17T14:13:45.881-05:002010-01-17T14:13:45.881-05:00Yeah that it was only a .22! ;) Yeah for the hawk ...Yeah that it was only a .22! ;) Yeah for the hawk to soar and fly free again. And a good lesson learned. :)Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45303117415757720512010-01-16T12:37:47.799-05:002010-01-16T12:37:47.799-05:00Bernard - I have loved every piece you have submit...Bernard - I have loved every piece you have submitted to these contests over the years and this is no exception. <br /><br />Every day at work I learn something new about teaching from my students just as the father learns here. I'm so glad he was kind and he understood that the boy learned from his actions. I love that father.<br /><br />Really well written Bernard.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-2536044761521239412010-01-16T07:19:56.415-05:002010-01-16T07:19:56.415-05:00effective simple writing. happy ending :)effective simple writing. happy ending :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-75399912632691610022010-01-15T16:36:38.689-05:002010-01-15T16:36:38.689-05:00I’m sorry I didn’t respond to the welcome input ea...I’m sorry I didn’t respond to the welcome input earlier but it took a very long time to read through the 236 other entries. Thank you all for your very kind comments. As some of you pointed out, it is too bad the father didn’t teach his son not to shoot at a hawk or anything else not targeted for survival. I wished to portray how easily a father may take something for granted, even in teaching the use of a weapon. In one instant his son, excited to be on the hunt, fired into the air at a target he shouldn’t have, disregarding one of the most important premises in handling a rifle – where will the bullet go if you miss. The father knew there was nothing that could be done except as his son pointed out – never do it again.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91798774988908069022010-01-15T16:28:27.766-05:002010-01-15T16:28:27.766-05:00Good, solid story, well told.
Not a fan of hunting...Good, solid story, well told.<br />Not a fan of hunting, but respect the father figure here, as the son obviously does.<br />Good stuff!rainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04258822737734173873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88165793118702245212010-01-15T14:51:35.130-05:002010-01-15T14:51:35.130-05:00Wow. A moralistic piece well done. I was especiall...Wow. A moralistic piece well done. I was especially taken by surprise at the fact that hunters have a balance-of-nature stand. I always assumed it was merely a cheap thrill.Kartikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01067636999700672077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-35222768934012031372010-01-15T02:17:56.061-05:002010-01-15T02:17:56.061-05:00Both characters were very convincing. The firm but...Both characters were very convincing. The firm but fair father figure especially.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344917148662934359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58043145835629871732010-01-15T01:09:33.912-05:002010-01-15T01:09:33.912-05:00A coming-of-age story. That moment when the boy l...A coming-of-age story. That moment when the boy learns the responsibility that comes with independence. Brilliantly portrayed, masterfully paced, with the exact details we need and nothing more. Very good.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6334774942241860562010-01-14T10:18:29.873-05:002010-01-14T10:18:29.873-05:00Lesson learned.Lesson learned.Deb Smythenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77827549508987666362010-01-13T15:19:17.350-05:002010-01-13T15:19:17.350-05:00That was a really good read. I liked that everyone...That was a really good read. I liked that everyone is alive and happy. Excellent writing here!lenahttp://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70287729758740878592010-01-13T15:09:27.202-05:002010-01-13T15:09:27.202-05:00beautifully written. loved the father-son relation...beautifully written. loved the father-son relationship. was also touched by the son's respect for his father's wisdom. <br /><br />i loved this.Preetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00279859240371070699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48284195881416374432010-01-13T11:37:30.125-05:002010-01-13T11:37:30.125-05:00This was a very cool read.This was a very cool read.AngelConradiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09423318903817661244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19387805188437398622010-01-13T10:40:22.872-05:002010-01-13T10:40:22.872-05:00excellent piece, bernard... but the old man should...excellent piece, bernard... but the old man should have taught the boy much better long before he turned 14laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-29330562282048161332010-01-13T07:15:12.555-05:002010-01-13T07:15:12.555-05:00This is sort of a modern Aesop's fable. I rea...This is sort of a modern Aesop's fable. I really enjoyed it. It was touching actually, I could feel the love between father and son. Having boys, I understand what drove the boy to shoot the bird. He must have been THRILLED that he got it! And THRILLED even more when it took off again. I loved that father and life itself taught this boy his lesson. This is one of my favorites.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44324110798224311272010-01-13T05:03:57.959-05:002010-01-13T05:03:57.959-05:00Nice story, nice moral lesson gently told.
One can...Nice story, nice moral lesson gently told.<br />One can also relate to the rapport between father and son.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11343506629067569452010-01-13T03:48:40.895-05:002010-01-13T03:48:40.895-05:00This a great piece. Everyone can relate to it. Eit...This a great piece. Everyone can relate to it. Either with the son's urge to spread his wings or the fathers to guide him through the process. Some might identify with both.<br /><br />Superb writing.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8530049380057661372010-01-13T02:38:17.400-05:002010-01-13T02:38:17.400-05:00Liked.
Liked that you made the bird live.
And soar...Liked.<br />Liked that you made the bird live.<br />And soar.austerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16839224877080864005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5167597339439924492010-01-13T00:58:19.439-05:002010-01-13T00:58:19.439-05:00Good one. Brought back memories of once when I wa...Good one. Brought back memories of once when I was a teenager. I was walking across the field and saw a bird sitting on a bush about fifty yards out. I had my lever action 22 and I just pumped the lever and fired from the hip, just like in all those western movies, and I actually hit and killed the bird. I never once imagined I'd actually hit it and I felt so terrible about it for the longest time. I didn't mind hunting as long as I was gonna eat what I shot, but I didn't like the fact that I killed it by accident. It was certainly a learning experience, though, much like the young lad has here.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34209571547872842602010-01-12T22:47:22.251-05:002010-01-12T22:47:22.251-05:00I like the juxtaposition of the father, slowly wal...I like the juxtaposition of the father, slowly walking along, and the effortless flight of the hawk. I can't help but wonder whether the son's hunting lesson and the hawk's sudden recovery are mysteriously intertwined with the father's exsistence, his wisdom. --JRAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-21663791408289640342010-01-12T21:40:20.615-05:002010-01-12T21:40:20.615-05:00A lesson finally learned. Should have been amongst...A lesson finally learned. Should have been amongst the first lessons taught to the son, i.e. you hunt a specific target and never an endangered species.kashersnoreply@blogger.com