tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post3752103437373100101..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #13Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49017237837714733032011-07-28T21:10:16.801-04:002011-07-28T21:10:16.801-04:00I do wonder what that moment would be like. The h...I do wonder what that moment would be like. The hand on the windshield strikes me as authentic and mundane. Just how I would imagine the real end. Pacing was especially strong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11964731196039988312011-07-23T19:42:09.883-04:002011-07-23T19:42:09.883-04:00This has a couple spots where your sense of humor ...This has a couple spots where your sense of humor and timing are spot on (I hope you intended that otherwise, I'll feel bad at finding a dark story like this fun.) I liked the descriptions of the name & the radio signoff <i>good luck to all</i>.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14170148559429001125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51796549562995563752011-07-23T04:09:49.366-04:002011-07-23T04:09:49.366-04:00Bill- I love the narration here. It has a real doc...Bill- I love the narration here. It has a real documentary feel to it. As someone who is fascinated by twins (I have them in my entry too) I love that you have captured their indentical-ness through that short description by the mother. It seems fitting that two people so connected as they entered this world should go together at the end.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49151161844632431222011-07-22T15:50:02.421-04:002011-07-22T15:50:02.421-04:00I'd completely forgotten about the photo and t...I'd completely forgotten about the photo and therefore could not sense any contrivance (and I mean that in a good way). All I could think was <i> I really ought to get busy digging an underground shelter</i>. Because, I've read enough about disaster in the last couple of days to make me justifiably paranoid, but thankfully not <i>War of the Worlds</i> hysterical—yet. The writing here is tight without forfeiting the human element and the plot moved forward incredibly well.Linda Ryan-Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15164148666810818891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-50368864327252354272011-07-21T11:43:14.285-04:002011-07-21T11:43:14.285-04:00Your story has all the right ingredients, Bill, an...Your story has all the right ingredients, Bill, and the last line captured the photo perfectly (I saw it as I read the sentence).<br />Good stuff.<br /><br />Regards,<br />ColAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17913040012695421077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12566110767074794852011-07-21T08:10:20.144-04:002011-07-21T08:10:20.144-04:00From your introduction, I wasn't sure how old ...From your introduction, I wasn't sure how old they were at first. Then, after you mention the mother, I got confused when it was Mary Kate driving.<br /><br />However - once I sorted out who was who, I really enjoyed it, and the tableau that emerges at the end is a powerful one.Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-82753096167150026892011-07-20T00:59:59.109-04:002011-07-20T00:59:59.109-04:00This piece had everything. It made me feel good ab...This piece had everything. It made me feel good about the twins, cracked me up when u mentioned the 'dotcom' thing, and then slowly it went dreary.. <br />The ending reminded me of the starting of movie 'THOR'..<br /><br />Great narration. Loved it!yaminihttp://expressmyway.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-52230086638000644502011-07-19T22:46:36.125-04:002011-07-19T22:46:36.125-04:00I love how some people can tell a tale in so few w...I love how some people can tell a tale in so few words, and you did so nicely. The science guy in me knew it couldn't happen this way, but I'll usually suspend disbelief for a good story.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Richard Levangiehttp://richardlevangie.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8254200594249500372011-07-18T21:19:15.096-04:002011-07-18T21:19:15.096-04:00A wonderful tale in 250 words...lets your imaginat...A wonderful tale in 250 words...lets your imagination carry you the rest of the way.. ExcellantAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32928859174298922342011-07-18T18:58:47.871-04:002011-07-18T18:58:47.871-04:00I find comfort that they were all together - forev...I find comfort that they were all together - forever. Lovely story, thanks for sharing, take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83958451425528999602011-07-18T10:14:22.582-04:002011-07-18T10:14:22.582-04:00Not sure what to think...how did the radio announc...Not sure what to think...how did the radio announcer know about the baked potato or frying....yet wants them to stay tuned in with only 8 minutes to live. lol. Irony.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12072032327120425272011-07-17T16:00:04.835-04:002011-07-17T16:00:04.835-04:00When a solar flare will destroy the Earth, it seem...When a solar flare will destroy the Earth, it seems right to say whatever you want on the radio. :) Touching piece!~janabluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37099291449148680962011-07-17T02:40:18.450-04:002011-07-17T02:40:18.450-04:00Such a sad story! I like to think the radio guy wa...Such a sad story! I like to think the radio guy was wrong and it doesn't end there.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84293385275627148782011-07-17T01:33:17.874-04:002011-07-17T01:33:17.874-04:00"like ‘dot com’ was supposed to follow" ..."like ‘dot com’ was supposed to follow" cracked me up.<br /><br />Nice premise here. I could be friends with the radio guy. Hell, I could be the radio guy. ;)Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-4794008735909223692011-07-16T21:35:17.655-04:002011-07-16T21:35:17.655-04:00I generally like this very much. But the science o...I generally like this very much. But the science of it is a little distracting to me. How did the authorities find out about a solar flare like that right when it happened? In any case, I like the way you've described the girls. I think you've got two interesting characters, a terrific setting with a really interesting radio guy, and a strong event. You could build a plot around this.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79560438538264355932011-07-15T07:01:54.527-04:002011-07-15T07:01:54.527-04:00So sad...but at least they have each other, right ...So sad...but at least they have each other, right up to the very end.Preciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071233480999640713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89386267808529532862011-07-15T06:59:31.891-04:002011-07-15T06:59:31.891-04:00the ending takes us right where the inpiration pho...the ending takes us right where the inpiration photo was taken - only there wouldn't be anyone to capture that moment, neither anyone to look at that photo at all... <br />a great tale told well. it still rings in my head.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-7582225878223101892011-07-15T04:41:43.819-04:002011-07-15T04:41:43.819-04:00Live together, die together. Good piece - I like t...Live together, die together. Good piece - I like the ending.Cath Bartonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76153880169549962352011-07-15T02:41:34.152-04:002011-07-15T02:41:34.152-04:00Excellent details. A sad and complete portrait.Excellent details. A sad and complete portrait.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49545573342948852722011-07-15T00:44:10.029-04:002011-07-15T00:44:10.029-04:00"The sun looked innocent, high in its blue do..."The sun looked innocent, high in its blue dome."<--such an original way of describing the sky. Well done.<br /><br />Maybe I'm a dark person, but I think this story ended where it should. Her last glimpse of life was her hand. After that, she wouldn't be; that's how I understood this story. I liked it.pegjethttp://pegjet.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12469453483187185632011-07-14T23:00:33.220-04:002011-07-14T23:00:33.220-04:00A death wish for an Olson twin? ;-)
I love your t...A death wish for an Olson twin? ;-)<br /><br />I love your twist. Twists can be difficult to incorporate, especially in so few words; you pulled your technique off seamlessly. Now you do realize this is pleading for expansion, right? I have to know what happens to that world.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37581998067509019752011-07-14T21:44:00.169-04:002011-07-14T21:44:00.169-04:00So what happened?? I'm totally sitting here wa...So what happened?? I'm totally sitting here waiting for the end! I wanna know! How did they feel seeing the change, what with their long-sisterly relationship? :)Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.com