tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post3903006593781994853..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #30Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68574265948947752942011-07-29T08:05:21.565-04:002011-07-29T08:05:21.565-04:00I like being in this character. Believable and we...I like being in this character. Believable and well portrayed. Like many things, these two have wounds. Great writing!<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-80693428111644497502011-07-28T09:44:54.468-04:002011-07-28T09:44:54.468-04:00Very compelling. You were able to tell so much in ...Very compelling. You were able to tell so much in such a clever way. The history between mother and daughter can be so rich, so comlicated and hurtful yet you managed to do that without saying it.L.A Speedwinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734240100355616049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8103920322542363932011-07-27T17:46:22.427-04:002011-07-27T17:46:22.427-04:00Wow, I just checked back to see if Jason had left ...Wow, I just checked back to see if Jason had left feedback (I know, like he has had nothing else to do!) and I am so touched!<br /><br />Cath, thank you! I am so glad to know you liked it that much. <br /><br />Chris, thank you. I love that wording--"easy bitterness". Isn't that how it just beomes, after awhile?<br /><br />Aerin, thank you! And congratulations!! I think we have a lot of mutual blogging friends, so it's great to meet you, too! If they convince me to finally get on twitter, I'll follow you there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18004463725003942692011-07-27T13:25:25.078-04:002011-07-27T13:25:25.078-04:00I whole-heartedly concur with Cath. And with Prec...I whole-heartedly concur with Cath. And with Precie - this is the one that stuck in my brain, that made me smile at arbitrary times, that had so much depth in such subtle layers. But YAY that I got to "meet" you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48829036798007405632011-07-27T12:53:03.810-04:002011-07-27T12:53:03.810-04:00I really enjoyed this. Your MC speaks with such co...I really enjoyed this. Your MC speaks with such confidence, and easy bitterness that reveals so much about the relationship.<br /><br />Wonderful.Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19667351569461885702011-07-27T12:50:05.042-04:002011-07-27T12:50:05.042-04:00I'd just like to say - and no disrespect to al...I'd just like to say - and no disrespect to all the winners chosen by Jason and the writers' group - that your piece was the stand-out winner for me. SUCH good writing.Cath Bartonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19439464377522979422011-07-25T11:16:07.634-04:002011-07-25T11:16:07.634-04:00Brigid, thanks. I love that you call it a bond. It...Brigid, thanks. I love that you call it a bond. It is one, if it is anything. No matter how hard it is, they are bonded.<br /><br />JaneyV, I'm glad you got that, too. It is definitely a big family, respect for elders no matter what thing. Thank you for your lovely comment!<br /><br />C Sonberg Larson...so how much does your comment rock?? :) I'm glad you got the disloyalty part. The reason the mother is so upset is because, at their heart, the daughter's choices are a betrayal. Thank you so much for your generous comment!<br /><br />Precie, thank you so much for coming back and saying that. You've made me smile!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-73354884280640888552011-07-25T07:52:59.105-04:002011-07-25T07:52:59.105-04:00I found myself drawn back to this because I wanted...I found myself drawn back to this because I wanted to mention how much I appreciated the depth of this piece. It's balanced structurally, it's vivid with emotions of inadequacy and resentment...but also an underlying constant desire for her mother's approval.Preciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071233480999640713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14700802964695739232011-07-25T00:08:20.537-04:002011-07-25T00:08:20.537-04:00J.A., this is exquisitely done. You really show ho...J.A., this is exquisitely done. You really show how the daughter feels she will never be good enough and how her life choices are treated as disloyal because they were outside of her mother's comfort zone and expectations. <br /><br />Honestly, I'd begun commenting several times on this over the past several days, then backed out because I didn't feel my comments fully explained how much I appreciate this piece. So I'll just tell you this way--I really loved this! It spoke to me on a very deep level. <br /><br />You Rock!C. Sonberg Larsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09925003570881003478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13905268764717528432011-07-23T06:04:11.866-04:002011-07-23T06:04:11.866-04:00I'm Irish and I totally got the 'sitting o...I'm Irish and I totally got the 'sitting on the floor' reference. I think it's a big extended family thing! Like everyone has already said I too found this a lovely piece of writing. I understand fully the need to distance oneself from family in order to 'be' oneself but also the need to belong and to please. You captured a whole lot of competing thought and emotions beautifully in so few words.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32684948963910814312011-07-21T17:32:06.739-04:002011-07-21T17:32:06.739-04:00Intriguing title and excellent portrayal of the mo...Intriguing title and excellent portrayal of the mother-daughter bond in such a tight word deadline.Brigid O'Connorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08646687391409208367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55180288976269900822011-07-21T13:00:33.990-04:002011-07-21T13:00:33.990-04:00Richard, thank you so much. And yes, given the opp...Richard, thank you so much. And yes, given the opportunity, I feel like the narrator would have much to say about each memory. I just wish it hadn't stirred difficult memories for you.<br /><br />Thanks, Kunjal!<br /><br />Deb, thanks for reading and for your comment!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32445612932148200042011-07-21T12:51:24.454-04:002011-07-21T12:51:24.454-04:00I was drawn to this based on the title, and stayed...I was drawn to this based on the title, and stayed based on the story. Such a poignant and realistic vingette of the mother-daughter relationship.Deb Smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10990130480508998598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79879817467538589072011-07-21T03:58:06.106-04:002011-07-21T03:58:06.106-04:00title raises curosity:)
nice work:)title raises curosity:)<br />nice work:)Kunjalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15346731417236906278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-52223824645169875662011-07-20T07:30:16.074-04:002011-07-20T07:30:16.074-04:00Wonderfully crafted and subtle! Each little rememb...Wonderfully crafted and subtle! Each little remembrance hints at dozens of small cuts and jabs left unspoken. I am impressed!<br /><br />It also speaks to me of truth. I was a caregiver to an elderly parent for 13 years, and I still carry the scars.Richard Levangiehttp://richardlevangie.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34081297719378267742011-07-20T00:01:52.102-04:002011-07-20T00:01:52.102-04:00Jana , thanks for reading and for your comment!
S...Jana , thanks for reading and for your comment!<br /><br />Sarah!! I do know you read everytthing with such a generous spirit. And I have my own email in drafts that says all of this made me miss you. But I didn't want you to feel pressure to read' so I was going to send it after. You have totally made me smile tonight! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44552586437564152702011-07-19T23:19:50.213-04:002011-07-19T23:19:50.213-04:00Well. You know how I feel about your work already....Well. You know how I feel about your work already. So I'll just say this: take a bow, Ms. Zobair. :)<br /><br />(All right. I wrote a bunch of other stuff in an email that is currently sitting in my Draft folder. Tomorrow, maybe??)Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85253350825870514572011-07-19T16:07:32.020-04:002011-07-19T16:07:32.020-04:00Marriage is such a tough straddle anyway - this br...Marriage is such a tough straddle anyway - this brings another layer of complexity! You've easily pulled us into that struggle. Nicely done! ~ Jana A.bluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-80253758913153714702011-07-19T10:19:41.627-04:002011-07-19T10:19:41.627-04:00Old Kitty, thanks for reading and for saying you w...Old Kitty, thanks for reading and for saying you wanted it to go on!<br /><br />Ellis, thank you. You've made me glad for the way Jason posts these! :) That's exactly it--she both wants and doesn't want her mother near. Exactly.<br /><br />Jade, thanks! Ruthless is somehow such a great comment.<br /><br />Jodi, thank you. That is the highest compliment--to want to read more. I appreciate it.<br /><br />Dottie, and maybe not--exactly! Thanks!<br /><br />Linda, wow. Thank you for your comment! You have provided a perfect and passionate defense for the mother, a glimpse into her point of view. I think she'd be pleased. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-52547095398787195842011-07-19T01:52:01.913-04:002011-07-19T01:52:01.913-04:00Am I the only one here to side with the mother? M...Am I the only one here to side with the mother? Maybe the daughter <i>did</i>marry a schlep with persnickety eating habits. And don't think mom didn't notice that the daughter nearly choked on her on mirthless laughter born of mockery at her own mother's hunger. And let's face it my fellow Americans, we are downright ugly. Oh, and there's the good daughter, but Mom probably complains about her to others when she visits her as well, you can bet on that. Signed, Mother of a daughter who doesn't care if I have to sleep on a hard futon when I visit and married some guy who never puts a new roll of toilet paper on the holder when he uses up the last of the old one. PS: I almost forgot: Excellent writing, J.A.Linda Ryan-Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15164148666810818891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-35643416504684409542011-07-18T22:25:58.230-04:002011-07-18T22:25:58.230-04:00Good Job! The relationship between the old world a...Good Job! The relationship between the old world and new, mothers and daughters...maybe unforgiving, but then again, maybe not.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8183477209964466002011-07-18T22:03:59.719-04:002011-07-18T22:03:59.719-04:00Your title caught my eye. And the from the first l...Your title caught my eye. And the from the first line the story carried me all the way through. The emotional conflict is so intense and I adore your writing voice. Wonderful work. I would like to read more by you.Jodi MacArthurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13373591664178281529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32357172088335769012011-07-18T21:30:55.095-04:002011-07-18T21:30:55.095-04:00WOW. So much voice, such a ruthless paintbrush, yo...WOW. So much voice, such a ruthless paintbrush, you've really captured the characters and their relationship so completely.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-21501805530001888972011-07-18T20:32:59.800-04:002011-07-18T20:32:59.800-04:00The happenstance of entries being posted in batche...The happenstance of entries being posted in batches of ten, yours was the first submission I read. It set the bar. <br /><br />The tension between craving contact and separation is so tangible and familiar; the little tidbits of detail like gourds and pulses, the jagged marks on skin make it real.<br /><br />Excellent.Ellis Bergstresserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15899990567512770024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55217139915499474222011-07-18T18:42:25.322-04:002011-07-18T18:42:25.322-04:00Beautiful. I wanted to read on - I wanted this sto...Beautiful. I wanted to read on - I wanted this story to go on. What amazing character insights in so few words - but words packed with psychological emotion, conflict and intensity - it's trully lovely, thank you for sharing, take care xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.com