tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post4622906521026525294..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #97Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-66693960115058768512010-01-20T15:00:50.489-05:002010-01-20T15:00:50.489-05:00Exceptional piece here. So much description, feeli...Exceptional piece here. So much description, feeling, and tension packed into so few words. <br /><br />Powerfully drawn.<br /><br />(Congrats on the Forties Club!)<br /><br />~ CorraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-39101025709852923342009-07-28T16:12:59.115-04:002009-07-28T16:12:59.115-04:00It's easy to see why this was a reader favorit...It's easy to see why this was a reader favorite. Strong writing, powerful themes, depth that goes beyond 250 words. Nice job!Jaye Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09407478042834459126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-9407681413713034872009-07-27T08:04:59.989-04:002009-07-27T08:04:59.989-04:00Very strongly written. A brutal choice. Some say...Very strongly written. A brutal choice. Some say crimes are never erased. But people who were are erased in time. As we see, that man doesn't exist anymore.<br /><br />Welcome to The Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12410314501092324292009-07-24T05:05:19.600-04:002009-07-24T05:05:19.600-04:00Sharp stuff pjd. A well deserved place in readers ...Sharp stuff pjd. A well deserved place in readers choice! Well done.McKoalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01457446171624585099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-35338579711132552302009-07-21T22:10:56.480-04:002009-07-21T22:10:56.480-04:00Dottie, JR, Fox.... you flatter me beyond words. ...Dottie, JR, Fox.... you flatter me beyond words. Thank you!PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30509237647443077732009-07-21T20:05:13.312-04:002009-07-21T20:05:13.312-04:00You made my top five.You made my top five.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-24358191185441563742009-07-21T12:13:19.087-04:002009-07-21T12:13:19.087-04:00Oooh, this was a good one. This was one of the fiv...Oooh, this was a good one. This was one of the five I fretted over in voting for "reader's choice." I went with another story, but have to say this was wholly entertaining.Rabid Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307255127156087170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-62679422274010973432009-07-19T18:11:32.882-04:002009-07-19T18:11:32.882-04:00I thought I'd comment on your observation: &qu...I thought I'd comment on your observation: "One thing I've noticed, in contrast to the last contest, is a severe lack of humorous pieces."<br /><br />You're certainly on the money here, but why not laughter and the feeling of uneasiness toward that laughter?<br /><br />I'm down to ten picks, and my deciding factor will probably be which story is showing the most "TRUTH IN WINE," whether directly or indirectly. It's not an easy decision to make.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12331050980647792192009-07-19T09:12:13.834-04:002009-07-19T09:12:13.834-04:00PJD, this was one of the last entries left for me ...PJD, this was one of the last entries left for me to read, and I am so glad. This is brilliant and interesting and very well-written. Great ending. So much more interesting than a less talented writer might have made it.Dottie Camptownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00891885810903269126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89993550824878664832009-07-17T21:04:01.330-04:002009-07-17T21:04:01.330-04:00You all are so very nice.
I am going to print thi...You all are so very nice.<br /><br />I am going to print this comment thread and put it in every drawer of my house and work, just so if I ever feel inadequate in any way, I can read these comments and revive my self-worth. Talk about pumping someone up!<br /><br />What is the nicest of all is that no one called me out on my use of google translator to come up with the lone French phrase here. I'm sure it's a lame transliteration rather than a true idiom, but my source didn't get back to me before the submission deadline, so I had to go with Google translator. So, to all of you who know anything about French, I say: Thank you for not calling me on it. :-)<br /><br />OK, on to the remaining 27!PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-38140213296601251612009-07-17T20:44:01.941-04:002009-07-17T20:44:01.941-04:00Awesome the second time around, Pete. *sigh* Amazi...Awesome the second time around, Pete. *sigh* Amazing piece.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-46053662128021535232009-07-17T16:37:02.675-04:002009-07-17T16:37:02.675-04:00A kindred Clarity-of-Night time traveler! (You kn...A kindred Clarity-of-Night time traveler! (You know what I mean.)<br /><br />The imagery is what I would expect from a reigning champion. If you can write passages that end with powerful expressions like "leaving him alone with his regret and his decision," you can write anything.Stephen Parrishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16883165490847664389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-594383607637446862009-07-17T13:18:28.629-04:002009-07-17T13:18:28.629-04:00Um, Wow. So much of humanity in so few words.
Ou...Um, Wow. So much of humanity in so few words. <br />Outstanding.Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03158421102740382411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8665064402586891382009-07-17T12:17:29.713-04:002009-07-17T12:17:29.713-04:00Youl = youYoul = youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91683983615600870922009-07-17T12:16:41.887-04:002009-07-17T12:16:41.887-04:00Okay, I was one of the first commenters on this be...Okay, I was one of the first commenters on this before blogspot took my comment (wah) - but I said something to the effect of:<br /><br />Obviously I love the "gnarly Jesuses" - it feels almost like a romantic line to me, and sets up an intimacy for the scene.<br /><br />However, I really feel we should have a chat. You don't <i>have</i> to win every contest, you know. Youl could <i>try</i> to slip up, just a wee bit, to give others of us plebians a chance.<br /><br />Profoundly well done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74793573199433008062009-07-17T02:57:31.827-04:002009-07-17T02:57:31.827-04:00Amazing! I like the vengeance part in the storyAmazing! I like the vengeance part in the storySoniahttp://www.hourlongmoments.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31597571726261033182009-07-16T20:12:42.281-04:002009-07-16T20:12:42.281-04:00LOL at your white wine comment!
:-)
This is truly...LOL at your white wine comment!<br />:-)<br /><br />This is truly an exceptional piece of writing. It leaves me wanting to learn the backstory of these two characters. I think the ending is perfect. I'm glad you didn't spell anything out for us. I enjoyed your story very much!!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12281642278583277582009-07-16T15:22:46.168-04:002009-07-16T15:22:46.168-04:00Nice writing. Loved the line-His weathered face is...Nice writing. Loved the line-His weathered face is furrowed with timeless grief.-Deb Snoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40606537566417975382009-07-16T13:45:29.565-04:002009-07-16T13:45:29.565-04:00Peter, I'm blown away. From the opening line ...Peter, I'm blown away. From the opening line with its imagery of sacrifice <br /><br /><i>The younger vines below stand like gnarly Jesuses, wired to their posts</i><br /><br />which I think was the most perfect opener I've read, you grabbed your readers and held us in your grip to the very last word. Superb writing.<br /><br />PS - just for you, I went down the humour route ;0)JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-72342682581911350582009-07-16T12:27:46.253-04:002009-07-16T12:27:46.253-04:00I loved this piece! Peter, your writing style is ...I loved this piece! Peter, your writing style is really incredible. You are very talented. Looking forward to reading more of your work, maybe in the form of a published book or short story one of these days?J. M. Poirothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047291112115641863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-2589816799075556162009-07-16T02:35:00.643-04:002009-07-16T02:35:00.643-04:00I have finally read the first 96, and I am a littl...I have finally read the first 96, and I am a little overwhelmed with the average quality of the entries. Tomorrow, onward with #98 and forward.<br /><br />Thank you all again for your comments.<br /><br />JR, you expressed in your comment exactly what I thought of the ending, and of that line. In fact, after my (very flawed) first draft, I expressed almost those exact words to my wife (who was not shy about letting me see the flaws in the first draft). (No, my wife never saw the second draft, not yet. So I haven't had the luxury of having the flaws pointed out. Because I know all y'all here are far too nice for that!)<br /><br />A sincere, heartfelt thank-you to everyone who read and commented. I wish I had the stamina to reply individually to each as many of you have done, but alas you are better people than I.<br /><br />One thing I've noticed, in contrast to the last contest, is a severe lack of humorous pieces. The escalator resulted in a number of hilarious, laugh-out-loud shorts. This has a few (so far) amusing ones, but mostly it's death death death. There's probably more dead bodies here than a typical Rambo movie. Maybe if Jason had picked white wine, we'd have gotten funny stories.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-56495570943187696852009-07-15T22:41:32.828-04:002009-07-15T22:41:32.828-04:00I was riveted. I did a WWII research report in sch...I was riveted. I did a WWII research report in school and a graphics project college, but this seems so much more personal since it was set in 1st person. I interviewed a grandson on the American side online. We are so much more fortunate in this time in age, even with the recession and Iraq war going on.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02479420775438541054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91086383112667022742009-07-15T14:01:22.420-04:002009-07-15T14:01:22.420-04:00Some things have no statute of limitations.Some things have no statute of limitations.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89809853165414195962009-07-15T10:48:38.182-04:002009-07-15T10:48:38.182-04:00Excellent story with a brilliant ending!Excellent story with a brilliant ending!Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17286909482780350161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88070689621809359302009-07-15T07:29:10.398-04:002009-07-15T07:29:10.398-04:00Rich, powerful and poignant writing - brilliant jo...Rich, powerful and poignant writing - brilliant job, a truly excellent story!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04871239587214383387noreply@blogger.com