tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post6031946935333414833..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #81Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76417411973431797772011-07-31T13:33:58.588-04:002011-07-31T13:33:58.588-04:00You did a great job deconstructing a birth into th...You did a great job deconstructing a birth into that level of close focus. Inventive, solid writing!<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18221529203833450692011-07-25T18:54:55.415-04:002011-07-25T18:54:55.415-04:00I see we had similar thoughts! I like the repetit...I see we had similar thoughts! I like the repetition of the word 'push' and the way it insists as the birth looms closer. Well written and exciting.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89599227025273665262011-07-24T17:40:20.773-04:002011-07-24T17:40:20.773-04:00Thank you, everyone, for your feedback and critici...Thank you, everyone, for your feedback and criticism! This is my first time to submit here. It's nice to see some encouragement.J. Ryan Rosserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01461205181302417756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23441337390262619682011-07-23T11:28:47.654-04:002011-07-23T11:28:47.654-04:00LOL... I never had any doubt about what I was read...LOL... I never had any doubt about what I was reading, but I enjoyed the ride just the same. :-)Richard Levangiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16596356126446766607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19211735614274397792011-07-23T03:36:21.093-04:002011-07-23T03:36:21.093-04:00Wonderful use of description. I loved the lyricis...Wonderful use of description. I loved the lyricism.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-61333066519404237592011-07-22T18:14:17.743-04:002011-07-22T18:14:17.743-04:00Awwww he's a baby!!! I really liked this, tha...Awwww he's a baby!!! I really liked this, thank you! I really like the baby's POV! Wonderful! xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84177326935491050212011-07-22T15:14:12.177-04:002011-07-22T15:14:12.177-04:00I like how you've incorporated the outer world...I like how you've incorporated the outer world with the inner world elements (hearing the word "push"). Great birth (or re-birth) story! ~Jana A.bluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88792093618826485932011-07-21T21:36:24.975-04:002011-07-21T21:36:24.975-04:00VERY nice! A beautiful take on birth. You create...VERY nice! A beautiful take on birth. You create character in the newborn infant in majestic ways, and the tale is wonderfully woven. I "got" it at the beginning of the last paragraph, where it says "His head crested through the opening". Up until then, all sorts of different scenarios flitted through my head, none really fitting but all a possibility. I love it when an author achieves that. Kudos!Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-75715046923227781952011-07-20T17:17:25.605-04:002011-07-20T17:17:25.605-04:00The repetitive use of 'PUSH' gave this a r...The repetitive use of 'PUSH' gave this a rythmic feel, and the thoughtful sentence structure dragged you along. <br /><br />Excellent writing.<br /><br />Regards,<br />ColAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17913040012695421077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1733386565284490142011-07-20T15:33:13.368-04:002011-07-20T15:33:13.368-04:00Awe! Very poignant. :)Awe! Very poignant. :)Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-43297330172904338942011-07-20T12:31:44.109-04:002011-07-20T12:31:44.109-04:00wow - i thought it was about a hiker trapped in a...wow - i thought it was about a hiker trapped in a cave, with the rescue team shouting - heeheee, i had this feeling until about the last paragraph :)<br />then i re-read the piece...SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59954262482731761822011-07-20T11:27:12.734-04:002011-07-20T11:27:12.734-04:00Very well done I enjoyed this one!Very well done I enjoyed this one!wrath999https://www.blogger.com/profile/10964105112015979524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85349732168476148282011-07-20T07:22:21.684-04:002011-07-20T07:22:21.684-04:00Birth from the POV of the child, well written...no...Birth from the POV of the child, well written...noise, tears and smiles, welcome to our world!Damyanti Biswashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12730222708740037475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-66219350698397562852011-07-20T00:59:04.422-04:002011-07-20T00:59:04.422-04:00Birth and rebirth, several different takes in the ...Birth and rebirth, several different takes in the responses, nice use of the prompt. Favorite line "He sucked on life".<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.com