tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post7404727384722423349..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #91Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-21916631343418477662011-07-31T15:02:37.669-04:002011-07-31T15:02:37.669-04:00A vicious ritual. I believed it, though. The cha...A vicious ritual. I believed it, though. The charcters' intensity sold it for me. Great writing.<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-20537861265517361712011-07-24T21:36:20.319-04:002011-07-24T21:36:20.319-04:00To me this read like an excerpt from a longer work...To me this read like an excerpt from a longer work. Very taut writing, well done! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04283371140346602856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59681304705707092692011-07-23T17:00:32.680-04:002011-07-23T17:00:32.680-04:00Okay Deb, I didn't get all of that from your e...Okay Deb, I didn't get all of that from your entry, but it was still riveting. Like everyone else, I'd like to see more, especially since I didn't think <i>Hunger Games</i> is as good as its reputation.Richard Levangiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16596356126446766607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1330851104656479772011-07-23T11:56:19.186-04:002011-07-23T11:56:19.186-04:00I love your description; it really brought the pie...I love your description; it really brought the piece to life. Nice work.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-57053667647363055892011-07-23T11:31:39.993-04:002011-07-23T11:31:39.993-04:00Thanks for the comments, everybody. Joni's Hu...Thanks for the comments, everybody. Joni's Hunger Games analogy was a good one. This is a dystopian future world, where the remaining bits of technology have become religious icons. The world is harsh and barren, but the village is protected from beasts and outlander barbarians by an ancient force shield. The heart of god is actually a power module for the protective field. The Trial is a teenage rite of passage used by the village elders for population control.Deb Smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10990130480508998598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-42486640691946642812011-07-22T18:43:47.937-04:002011-07-22T18:43:47.937-04:00Fast paced and laden with action and a teaser into...Fast paced and laden with action and a teaser into a different world!! I think this is so easily a longer story in the waiting! Well done! take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17208397600561435302011-07-22T15:59:34.995-04:002011-07-22T15:59:34.995-04:00I am intrigued by the fantasy world created here! ...I am intrigued by the fantasy world created here! Very interesting concept - makes me want to read more. ~Jana Abluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55168082741052520452011-07-22T07:12:08.855-04:002011-07-22T07:12:08.855-04:00I would love to see this expanded beyond the 250. ...I would love to see this expanded beyond the 250. I want to know more about this world, about this trio, about the survivors' internal reactions to Teela's death. Any chance you'll do more with this?Preciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071233480999640713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-42720803885233827802011-07-21T10:26:12.349-04:002011-07-21T10:26:12.349-04:00A well paced piece, it transported me elsewhere in...A well paced piece, it transported me elsewhere instantly. It would make me want to read more.Brigid O'Connorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08646687391409208367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-24305255117016500342011-07-21T06:06:02.824-04:002011-07-21T06:06:02.824-04:00uhm, i think the narrator was atop, while Teela an...uhm, i think the narrator was atop, while Teela and Jack were climbing up and down to find the heart, a sacred object that needed to get rescued from a rival group. the trial was to get the heart before the other group get it, and now these young are accepted as grown-ups in their own tribe.<br />that's my read :)SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-29285697544543401182011-07-21T00:49:39.024-04:002011-07-21T00:49:39.024-04:00I'm really pleased with so much action in such...I'm really pleased with so much action in such short space. Maybe a little more narration is needed, since none of us are clever enough to fully understand the Trial, but what you've written is solid, moving, and a lot of showing instead of telling, which is SO hard to do. Nice!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-52637877784085344142011-07-20T18:50:32.005-04:002011-07-20T18:50:32.005-04:00I'm trying to figure out who the third person ...I'm trying to figure out who the third person is...or is it the heart? I do like the feel of this piece, a trial to garner the trust of the tribe? Nicely done.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14604562893527241042011-07-20T15:50:34.995-04:002011-07-20T15:50:34.995-04:00Read through this 3x trying to fully understand. S...Read through this 3x trying to fully understand. Still unclear, but I think the idea is that the there is a quest for these three people and the both fail and succeed at the same time?Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6088616331409844902011-07-20T12:52:14.582-04:002011-07-20T12:52:14.582-04:00I like the feel of this. A little Hunger Games-es...I like the feel of this. A little Hunger Games-esque? You really captured the intensity of the scene.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.com