tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post764926782113671622..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Forties Club Finalist #45Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84061858181403722972010-08-02T08:59:51.710-04:002010-08-02T08:59:51.710-04:00And so he goes from winter into spring. Wonderful...And so he goes from winter into spring. Wonderful imagery...Catherine Viberthttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89405417788336341352010-08-02T04:33:26.089-04:002010-08-02T04:33:26.089-04:00Aaargh! How did I miss this? I read through each...Aaargh! How did I miss this? I read through each entry (or so I thought) chronologically! I'm so glad I came back and found yours Aidan. The writing is tight, I love the concept and you have two excellent characters here.<br /><br />Well done!<br /><br />That line Peter picked out was a stand-out for me too!JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-35872500077672749102010-07-31T23:02:57.424-04:002010-07-31T23:02:57.424-04:00This is good. I'm wondering where he time-trav...This is good. I'm wondering where he time-traveled to. I like the fact that you left it up to the reader.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84691087931260823192010-07-30T18:27:36.362-04:002010-07-30T18:27:36.362-04:00Love the direction you took this. To me, everythin...Love the direction you took this. To me, everything else disappeared but the two men, the box of jewels and the swirling winter scene around them. It was almost as if it was a solitary event happening outside of time. <br /><br />The jewels themselves reminded me of a portkey, or a token from Inception or something from LOST. Jean-Baptiste is gonna need a constant!<br />Now if only he can figure out a way to go backwards, get rid of some of those wrinkles...Vincent Kalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04625863843215035035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3405950299122251862010-07-29T21:19:19.901-04:002010-07-29T21:19:19.901-04:00Aerin, I'm glad you enjoyed this. I currently...Aerin, I'm glad you enjoyed this. I currently have short stories wallowing in slush piles, but hopefully that will change soon. I do post shorts (not all are this good) on my blog.<br /><br />I hadn't planned on "cheating", even had a rough idea but when I read about Tavernier his death/disappearance opened questions that I had to answer.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-65614316405454735672010-07-29T10:57:24.512-04:002010-07-29T10:57:24.512-04:00Very nicely done Aidan. First paragraph pulled me ...Very nicely done Aidan. First paragraph pulled me in completely, though I had to read it twice to fully digest it. It was reminiscent of Tolstoy or Turgenev in its flavor.<br /><br />The time travel (time shift?) theme was smoothly integrated into an otherwise realist historical fiction setting. Well done.Mike Robertsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09067537471948526219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90660103860889684882010-07-29T10:41:42.462-04:002010-07-29T10:41:42.462-04:00Hey Aidan - I keep coming back to this one. I wan...Hey Aidan - I keep coming back to this one. I want to call "no fair" for using Tavernier (considering the judge)...but mostly I'm jealous I didn't think of it. This piece is just so well written, and I love that it's not doom and gloom. <br /><br />So....what else do you write? I wanna buy your novel.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37283063441801166952010-07-28T23:57:24.964-04:002010-07-28T23:57:24.964-04:00Thanks everyone for your kind comments.
Dottie, f...Thanks everyone for your kind comments.<br /><br />Dottie, far enough to leave his old life behind. It can be how you want, but I envision it short enough to still fit in.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-39246142320733378522010-07-28T23:53:01.079-04:002010-07-28T23:53:01.079-04:00Cool story, well told, and I'm smitten with yo...Cool story, well told, and I'm smitten with your take on not just the photo but the whole theme.<br /><br />Nice job!Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13160423760923361082010-07-28T18:16:12.471-04:002010-07-28T18:16:12.471-04:00I'm a sucker for time travel.
Great imagery...I'm a sucker for time travel. <br /><br />Great imagery.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70112103320826433532010-07-28T01:28:32.905-04:002010-07-28T01:28:32.905-04:00Hi Aidan
I was thinking HG Wells. How are into th...Hi Aidan<br /><br />I was thinking HG Wells. How are into the future/past did he travel?<br /><br />Nicely done, I enjoyed this little bit, so much more to tell.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10458887974008310772010-07-28T01:27:32.077-04:002010-07-28T01:27:32.077-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12915220667919281642010-07-27T21:32:01.603-04:002010-07-27T21:32:01.603-04:00I want to travel through time, too! ;)I want to travel through time, too! ;)Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-413932894614422802010-07-27T06:50:47.352-04:002010-07-27T06:50:47.352-04:00I loved the dialogue here. Crisp and two the point...I loved the dialogue here. Crisp and two the point. No word was wasted.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-78391590912523326942010-07-26T23:53:56.898-04:002010-07-26T23:53:56.898-04:00Lovely writing - like Peter's I'm smitten ...Lovely writing - like Peter's I'm smitten by the winter breaths and the other subtle touches. The whisking of spacetime at the end is my favorite part.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-15494921485813016942010-07-26T23:51:52.976-04:002010-07-26T23:51:52.976-04:00Very well written-I really liked it..."Seller...Very well written-I really liked it..."Seller was fifty, youngster" was a nice thought...Erratic Thoughtshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14852558150033296079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85728581873877078682010-07-26T16:57:10.156-04:002010-07-26T16:57:10.156-04:00I have to agree with those who commented before. ...I have to agree with those who commented before. I really like the way you weave the sentences so that it flows, very smooth. I especially love the three winter breaths and the single word reply, "Nonsense." Very well written.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11363605823256732932010-07-26T12:50:45.301-04:002010-07-26T12:50:45.301-04:00I agree with Loren - nice. Tight pacing, vivid im...I agree with Loren - nice. Tight pacing, vivid imagery, fantastic dialogue. Lots done here in a small number of words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6970465708953698612010-07-26T12:32:44.921-04:002010-07-26T12:32:44.921-04:00Interesting, Lovecraft-ian premise, although the e...Interesting, Lovecraft-ian premise, although the ending is much more upbeat than anything old H.P. wrote. Nice, Aidan.Loren Eatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12488412683340389286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-29118428552009358282010-07-26T11:59:59.333-04:002010-07-26T11:59:59.333-04:00Love the concept of this one-a gem that could help...Love the concept of this one-a gem that could help you travel through time...Oddyoddyo13https://www.blogger.com/profile/05557994037779209704noreply@blogger.com