tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post8288290848467025197..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #21Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37081113893768453602008-03-05T02:06:00.000-05:002008-03-05T02:06:00.000-05:00Thank you!!! And congratulations to everyone for t...Thank you!!! And congratulations to everyone for the writing that was produced here. It's *all* nothing short of inspirational!<BR/>:-)Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68646265162892543442008-03-04T13:36:00.000-05:002008-03-04T13:36:00.000-05:00Wow-- I didn't expect such a tragedy from you. :)I...Wow-- I didn't expect such a tragedy from you. :)<BR/><BR/>I like the way he focused on simple details. The effect of the drug on his thinking is well done.Ainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402176500997528105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28702891136372568912008-03-04T09:21:00.000-05:002008-03-04T09:21:00.000-05:00The fact that he dug his own hole and shielded eve...The fact that he dug his own hole and shielded everyone from his act felt really authentic and powerful. High marks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71470206497729167562008-02-28T23:06:00.000-05:002008-02-28T23:06:00.000-05:00The title of this piece is Burial Site, and the pl...The title of this piece is Burial Site, and the place where he buries himself seems to be a hiding hole from his childhood. Almost like returning to the womb of mother earth, especially with the ox beetles reference. Fantastic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8512809998673113982008-02-28T14:53:00.000-05:002008-02-28T14:53:00.000-05:00Ouch. An acutely painful piece.Somehow I feel lik...Ouch. An acutely painful piece.<BR/>Somehow I feel like there were many times I wanted to crawl into that hole.<BR/>Means you did a fabulous job.<BR/>Well done.rainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04258822737734173873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83497583448944443692008-02-27T10:37:00.000-05:002008-02-27T10:37:00.000-05:00Beautifully written and emotionally striking. Wond...Beautifully written and emotionally striking. Wonderful, Chris!Magshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05350451902814461987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85318908755264465372008-02-26T22:45:00.000-05:002008-02-26T22:45:00.000-05:00Wow, that's dark. And the voice sounds so authent...Wow, that's dark. And the voice sounds so authentic. Very powerful.Preciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071233480999640713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51997699155355705772008-02-26T21:38:00.000-05:002008-02-26T21:38:00.000-05:00I like how the writing reflects the drug-induced t...I like how the writing reflects the drug-induced train of thought. Dark, yet romantic. Very nice, Chris.Hoodiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17616427797201977083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-4690223175236100672008-02-25T14:43:00.000-05:002008-02-25T14:43:00.000-05:00Oh very nice, Chris.Oh very nice, Chris.Jaye Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09407478042834459126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3742235251750020892008-02-25T07:17:00.000-05:002008-02-25T07:17:00.000-05:00Psychologically acute, Chris.And entirely realisti...Psychologically acute, Chris.And entirely realistic.<BR/>Very well done!Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28959826178056763192008-02-25T00:16:00.000-05:002008-02-25T00:16:00.000-05:00Really nothing to say that hasn't already been sai...Really nothing to say that hasn't already been said. You have accomplished something profound with this, Chris. And it is very well written.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14371812172314549082008-02-24T23:03:00.000-05:002008-02-24T23:03:00.000-05:00Wow. Yes, the stream of consciousness paragraph wa...Wow. Yes, the stream of consciousness paragraph was written masterfully. Really, I thought it exactly mimicked how a person might "think" in his or her last moments of life. It's "life flashing before his eyes," but in a muddled sort of way - the way a person confused by pain and drugs might think. This is a powerful piece of writing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68068990942372440722008-02-24T16:37:00.000-05:002008-02-24T16:37:00.000-05:00Very well written, Christine, the second part comi...Very well written, Christine, the second part coming only naturally from the first.<BR/>Very chilling...Vesperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12417602625059442986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79972659132036796992008-02-24T13:41:00.000-05:002008-02-24T13:41:00.000-05:00Chris, I loved the longer piece and it doesn't los...Chris, I loved the longer piece and it doesn't lose anything in the shortening. In fact it seems to have intensified the impact of that last paragraph. It is still one of the most effective uses of stream of conscious writing that leads to you an inevitable end. This is a brilliant piece of writing.Ello - Ellen Ohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311917335471167591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85780584838194033792008-02-24T09:02:00.000-05:002008-02-24T09:02:00.000-05:00Excellent piece of writing, I particularly like yo...Excellent piece of writing, I particularly like your use of stream of consciousness at the end. The imagery is also superb - really very well done.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04871239587214383387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12263004496369215562008-02-24T06:57:00.000-05:002008-02-24T06:57:00.000-05:00Thank you for the kind comments!Remiman, I was tos...Thank you for the kind comments!<BR/><BR/>Remiman, I was tossing and turning last night thinking about what you said. I based this very short piece on a compilation of two people I know, one of whom did commit suicide when I was in high school. It was so traumatic, that it was easy to 'become him.' I don't remember what mood I was in, but once I was in his skin the words came easily. And this part is unedited.<BR/><BR/>I think that by the time you make a decision about something, whether it's a divorce, a move, or an act of violence such as suicide, that a calm overtakes you. All of the turmoil basically happens when you're in a state of indecision. At least that's my personal experience. So I think the person I based this on (Russell) got to the point in his life where the very last hope was yanked from him. I think after he decided to do this, he was at peace. He could finally look at the tree, the box-beetle, the cloud. I think so, anyway.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19103963521768207362008-02-24T06:21:00.000-05:002008-02-24T06:21:00.000-05:00I remember having read a longer form of it earlier...I remember having read a longer form of it earlier on, too.<BR/>I also recollect the shiver it gave me, as it does now, too.<BR/>Well done.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58789540346590795912008-02-23T21:43:00.000-05:002008-02-23T21:43:00.000-05:00Chris, even though I've read it before, its shocki...Chris, even though I've read it before, its shocking conclusion still gave me the shivers.<BR/><BR/>Really, the last paragraph's parade of final images is gut-wrenching, but so superb. Stream of consciousness at its best.<BR/><BR/>So well done, my friend.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5987897009800577212008-02-23T16:39:00.000-05:002008-02-23T16:39:00.000-05:00Your last run on sentence, stringing last thoughts...Your last run on sentence, stringing last thoughts together was masterful.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5656763848240954012008-02-23T09:39:00.000-05:002008-02-23T09:39:00.000-05:00It feels like there's a lot going on in this piece...It feels like there's a lot going on in this piece - clearly you could expand. I especially enjoy the movement of the final paragraph.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19487966674108946922008-02-23T09:21:00.000-05:002008-02-23T09:21:00.000-05:00one wonders how a mind so drawn in by something as...one wonders how a mind so drawn in by something as simple as a trail of beetles or clouds could be so deeply wrapped around the idea of death....<BR/><BR/>very well done...paisleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08231453820728399262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84505398477878359102008-02-23T08:59:00.000-05:002008-02-23T08:59:00.000-05:00Brutal and uncompromising! As others have said, t...Brutal and uncompromising! As others have said, this is *another* good and original take on the photo.DBA Lehanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12902739256082564278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18003761914397120892008-02-23T08:22:00.000-05:002008-02-23T08:22:00.000-05:00Chris,I abhor suicide, but have seen it too often,...Chris,<BR/>I abhor suicide, but have seen it too often, In fact this story mimics a true life occurance I experienced 25 years ago. For those twenty-five years I've been puzzled by what thought process leads some one to this avenue of escape.<BR/>Now I have a greater understanding.<BR/>Thanks,<BR/>relrelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09030572981830789370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85613877595479575752008-02-23T08:12:00.000-05:002008-02-23T08:12:00.000-05:00Such a good start to a great little piece. It does...Such a good start to a great little piece. It does pull you right in.pattinase (abbott)https://www.blogger.com/profile/02916037185235335846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5874697630865515192008-02-22T23:06:00.000-05:002008-02-22T23:06:00.000-05:00It's interesting how Brian thinks of very little i...It's interesting how Brian thinks of very little in the beginning. But once in the hole, his thoughts seem to run in a constant stream. It's like he found his place. Good tale.Missyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16638784910676212171noreply@blogger.com