tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post8979125982431924241..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #187Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-47169851906025726282010-01-19T17:03:29.836-05:002010-01-19T17:03:29.836-05:00Love your bio. Keep writing, it is awesome, if no...Love your bio. Keep writing, it is awesome, if not a sad piece.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-82721715125421862582010-01-19T07:30:08.954-05:002010-01-19T07:30:08.954-05:00Thank you Chris. This is the most frustrating part...Thank you Chris. This is the most frustrating part not being sure if your readers 'get it' I could have done with at least 1.000 words lolRagnanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79134627639123737982010-01-19T06:35:29.166-05:002010-01-19T06:35:29.166-05:00Reading your backstory makes this even more intere...Reading your backstory makes this even more interesting and compelling! Enjoyed this one!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5603290034937366642010-01-17T05:39:59.036-05:002010-01-17T05:39:59.036-05:00Apologies for taking so long to reply.
Thank you ...Apologies for taking so long to reply. <br />Thank you so much for your encouraging comments and will take on board suggestions (agree with them all) <br />PJ, yes, you got it:) Human race has been wiped out by a virus that the mc sold for profit - hence he knows he's going to hell.Ragnanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1175849557552919182010-01-16T18:49:50.860-05:002010-01-16T18:49:50.860-05:00Ah, Pete. Thanks for that explanation. Whether or ...Ah, Pete. Thanks for that explanation. Whether or not it's the right one, it does help me get a better grip on the story. Trading the vial for me brought up ideas of giving away his loved ones' medicine for something stronger for himself - which made no sense in the context of the story.<br /><br />Good writing! Love how the guilt left him feeling hopeless in his grief.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48663962271886148692010-01-16T14:42:12.086-05:002010-01-16T14:42:12.086-05:00my caveat
Something I Would Keep
The crow as Satan...<br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">my caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />The crow as Satan - nicely wrought; especially in contrast to "their own Utopia."<br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />I might use an adjective to describe "the vial" just to make it a little clearer whether he was responsible for the disease or if he just bought some kind of temporary treatment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89569693128479413152010-01-16T13:35:39.847-05:002010-01-16T13:35:39.847-05:00I think that he did something despicable in order ...I think that he did something despicable in order to survive and now, in death, he sees that he has no choice but to pay with his soul.<br /><br />Strong stuff. Well written.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13792039441170239382010-01-16T11:32:00.043-05:002010-01-16T11:32:00.043-05:00To start out telling the reader that the Devil has...To start out telling the reader that the Devil has arrived, then second guessing it with: "I know in my heart it’s Satan," breaks the fictional world somewhat. Other than that, it's an interesting take on the photograph.James R. Tomlinsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64428584025368366652010-01-16T10:43:36.494-05:002010-01-16T10:43:36.494-05:00So if I read this right, the MC is the scientist w...So if I read this right, the MC is the scientist who gave material to someone (a disease?) that ended up killing all humanity? Poetic justice that he should be the last alive and have to bury his own, then not be buried himself.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-33554052953734640662010-01-15T15:19:43.614-05:002010-01-15T15:19:43.614-05:00You pulled off the MC's feelings of hopelessne...You pulled off the MC's feelings of hopelessness perfectly.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344917148662934359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67500787912247310042010-01-15T14:16:21.986-05:002010-01-15T14:16:21.986-05:00great story. I was waiting for the Devil to land ...great story. I was waiting for the Devil to land ;) <br /><br />-Tim <br />#138Timothy P. Remphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04422296532550497806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-54777573906301729292010-01-14T09:59:10.199-05:002010-01-14T09:59:10.199-05:00A thought provoking story and well written.
Betty...A thought provoking story and well written.<br /><br />Betty GordonBetty Gordonhttp://www.bettygordon.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-16670539354902173992010-01-13T22:47:39.954-05:002010-01-13T22:47:39.954-05:00Made me teary-eyed. Good job!
Jean AnnMade me teary-eyed. Good job!<br /><br />Jean AnnJean Ann Williamsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-22951154884437518642010-01-13T19:42:16.070-05:002010-01-13T19:42:16.070-05:00Carrion crying.Carrion crying.kashersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49263822465072531652010-01-13T17:02:05.425-05:002010-01-13T17:02:05.425-05:00Very poignant. Nice one
ggVery poignant. Nice one<br />ggAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3760532102121481002010-01-13T16:42:00.395-05:002010-01-13T16:42:00.395-05:00Apologies I keep coming up as Anon. Can't get ...Apologies I keep coming up as Anon. Can't get the hang of this :) Thank you for your encouraging comments.<br />I now wish I started with The Devil has arrived !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84331212334190091022010-01-13T16:14:35.064-05:002010-01-13T16:14:35.064-05:00so sad... :(so sad... :(laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53288946628213899802010-01-13T14:51:33.657-05:002010-01-13T14:51:33.657-05:00That is so very sad. Too much of grief in this pie...That is so very sad. Too much of grief in this piece.lenahttp://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-75906788603516140362010-01-13T14:33:52.892-05:002010-01-13T14:33:52.892-05:00Love the line:
"The Devil has arrived."...Love the line: <br />"The Devil has arrived."<br />I kind of wish it was the opening line, 'cause, wham, it really hits. Great work in any case.Deb Smythenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-66094430564987057572010-01-13T14:31:49.535-05:002010-01-13T14:31:49.535-05:00Pity him. He's mad with hopelessness and grief...Pity him. He's mad with hopelessness and grief.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-9878329703420453192010-01-13T14:22:05.644-05:002010-01-13T14:22:05.644-05:00Thank you all so much :)Thank you all so much :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-24829352583752393572010-01-13T14:16:45.065-05:002010-01-13T14:16:45.065-05:00Very poignant.
waiting for inevitable death is sc...Very poignant. <br />waiting for inevitable death is scary. <br /><br />I loved this. the writing is flawless.Preetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00279859240371070699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12834082011672283802010-01-13T11:58:48.562-05:002010-01-13T11:58:48.562-05:00Such a sad story.
Love the title.Such a sad story.<br /><br />Love the title.Patsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12263765378083045973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-54092398294416995302010-01-13T09:30:51.151-05:002010-01-13T09:30:51.151-05:00Oh, this is so sad. Wanting reunion with lost love...Oh, this is so sad. Wanting reunion with lost loved ones and feeling separated by guilt.<br /><br />Powerful.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11789311531664399292010-01-13T09:17:56.819-05:002010-01-13T09:17:56.819-05:00The pain in waiting for the inevitable seeps throu...The pain in waiting for the inevitable seeps through your words. Very well written. Chilling.<br /><br />Liked it a lot.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.com