tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post9117826309901046404..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #65Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53235335774121917792011-07-31T12:55:50.235-04:002011-07-31T12:55:50.235-04:00You parsed out the very intense experience of gett...You parsed out the very intense experience of getting out really well. Strong descriptions and good pacing.<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-41911439050169722122011-07-30T15:29:23.612-04:002011-07-30T15:29:23.612-04:00Took me two reads to see it as an out-of-body expe...Took me two reads to see it as an out-of-body experience. I love the "finally, the shotgun" line as the turning point in perception. This one made my throat dry. Good writing.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44618437968529249742011-07-27T12:48:12.507-04:002011-07-27T12:48:12.507-04:00Richard - thanks - I wanted an ending, not a final...Richard - thanks - I wanted an ending, not a finale. :)<br /><br />Mikki - thanks!<br /><br />pegjet - scary as it seems - what if it <i><b>isn't</b></i> as dreamy and easy as Hollywood would have us believe?<br /><br />Drew - thank you!<br /><br />Janey - the answer to that was written... it's in words numbered 201-225.<br /><br />Erin - I like your read of this, thank you for checking it out!<br /><br />Jade - thank you - I saw that picture and it was emotion and sensation, more than narrative that was driving the pen this time.Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-22916734953352424932011-07-26T15:38:49.467-04:002011-07-26T15:38:49.467-04:00so much emotion in so small a space! I like how mu...so much emotion in so small a space! I like how much we can learn about Grace's fate and free will in this final, crucial moment.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83581935249406634802011-07-25T17:58:31.538-04:002011-07-25T17:58:31.538-04:00Such visceral, haunting, and vivid writing, Chris....Such visceral, haunting, and vivid writing, Chris. The ending is perfect - Grace had to die, and you made the harsh reality of her choice actually gorgeous.EChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09359075647077590741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34145883475635936772011-07-25T17:32:06.439-04:002011-07-25T17:32:06.439-04:00I don't know who shot who but it doesn't r...I don't know who shot who but it doesn't really matter. You description of the confusion and panic of the aftermath was mesmerizing. Nice one Chris.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14546209520261245982011-07-24T17:49:22.611-04:002011-07-24T17:49:22.611-04:00Great story. I really liked the descriptive imager...Great story. I really liked the descriptive imagery.Drewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10523069660873286497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67780202288440896322011-07-23T16:33:13.850-04:002011-07-23T16:33:13.850-04:00Original description of crossing over. I really li...Original description of crossing over. I really liked this.pegjethttp://pegjet.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3811305095187570052011-07-22T15:55:34.075-04:002011-07-22T15:55:34.075-04:00Brilliant description. Thank you for sharing!Brilliant description. Thank you for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-38846101138618320472011-07-22T09:30:36.521-04:002011-07-22T09:30:36.521-04:00Chris: I like how you keep us guessing, how it'...Chris: I like how you keep us guessing, how it's open-ended. A fine entry.Richard Levangiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16596356126446766607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-80625981632381205692011-07-22T08:13:09.813-04:002011-07-22T08:13:09.813-04:00@ Jay - thanks - glad you connected with Grace!
@...@ Jay - thanks - glad you connected with Grace!<br /><br />@ JR - the colours fit better than anything else I tried - glad it worked!<br /><br />@ Brigid - thank you!<br /><br />@ bluesugarpoet - "grace in the conflagration" ... there's my alternate title right there<br /><br />@ Linda - I like your take on it - the painful burning away of a life to be ultimately free of it<br /><br />@ Old Kitty - glad I "gotcha"<br /><br />@ Apple Ardent Scott - thank you - this one took awhile to get it how I wanted it.<br /><br />@ Precie - this story was <b>all</b> about the visceralChris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17510287795062270422011-07-22T07:39:54.733-04:002011-07-22T07:39:54.733-04:00So visceral. I feel her struggle, her nightmare in...So visceral. I feel her struggle, her nightmare in my lungs. Nicely done.Preciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071233480999640713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3932047833559155372011-07-22T01:35:41.074-04:002011-07-22T01:35:41.074-04:00Great way to lead the reader- keep me guessing, bu...Great way to lead the reader- keep me guessing, but give me enough to need to know what's next. Nice story!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-24554401315217427582011-07-21T17:51:40.733-04:002011-07-21T17:51:40.733-04:00I was wondering where the story was going and then...I was wondering where the story was going and then WHAM - the killer line about the shotgun!! Wonderful read, thank you! Take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37203941641372392642011-07-21T17:34:15.230-04:002011-07-21T17:34:15.230-04:00Grace hosts her own Burning Man. Right now in th...Grace hosts her own Burning Man. Right now in this heat wave, I can relate to the same relief you depict Grace as having, except I'm coming in and she's going out—and, of course, there's that little business about Alan, recriminations and fire power.Linda Ryan-Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15164148666810818891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71697709017838955362011-07-21T15:22:49.366-04:002011-07-21T15:22:49.366-04:00Grace incarnate - she found grace in the conflagra...Grace incarnate - she found grace in the conflagration! Loved the suspense of this piece! ~Jana A.bluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58809753099225457682011-07-21T12:07:01.512-04:002011-07-21T12:07:01.512-04:00Great pace and lovely touch using colour throughou...Great pace and lovely touch using colour throughout.Brigid O'Connorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08646687391409208367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-15082708953160548742011-07-21T09:22:29.356-04:002011-07-21T09:22:29.356-04:00Interesting take on the pic ... your flash is satu...Interesting take on the pic ... your flash is saturated in "dreamy" colors that move the story along wonderfully.jrthumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14552633595464969740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-27003922560035994112011-07-21T08:21:47.742-04:002011-07-21T08:21:47.742-04:00Wonderful description and pace, the reader instant...Wonderful description and pace, the reader instantly pulls for Grace to escape. Great work Chris!Jay R. Thurstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12369000584179598973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77149870322679744842011-07-21T08:03:05.906-04:002011-07-21T08:03:05.906-04:00@ Joni - thanks, this one kept wanting to run away...@ Joni - thanks, this one kept wanting to run away from the 250 cap!<br /><br />@ Phatichar - thank you. I had a breathless moment or two myself getting this down!<br /><br />@ Fairyhedgehog - (great name) glad I managed to surprise!<br /><br />@ Erratic thoughts - you're the first to pick up on the colours - it was a deliberate, but late touch that only occurred late in the edits.Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70417052092163453692011-07-21T07:36:57.895-04:002011-07-21T07:36:57.895-04:00I liked your smart use of colors...you nailed it :...I liked your smart use of colors...you nailed it :)Erratic Thoughtshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14852558150033296079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60682727298664624292011-07-21T02:24:13.949-04:002011-07-21T02:24:13.949-04:00This was so vivid and then so very unexpected at t...This was so vivid and then so very unexpected at the end.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79517658601310283972011-07-21T01:02:22.138-04:002011-07-21T01:02:22.138-04:00Awesome imagery there, Chris. I could virtually fe...Awesome imagery there, Chris. I could virtually feel the suffocation she went through.<br /><br />Truely awesome. Keep 'em coming, gonna visit your page and bookmark it.phaticharhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01458914636112852499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13525040314678397022011-07-20T13:45:59.475-04:002011-07-20T13:45:59.475-04:00Wow, wonderful imagery and spot-on descriptions. ...Wow, wonderful imagery and spot-on descriptions. you laid the scene out very well. Great piece.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-41061396050540909662011-07-20T13:37:42.838-04:002011-07-20T13:37:42.838-04:00@ Scribblers - thanks - I could only say "red...@ Scribblers - thanks - I could only say "red fog" so much...<br /><br />@ Col - thanks mate! <i>Colourful picture</i> LOL.<br /><br />@ Dottie - that would be telling.<br /><br />@ Aidan - great to see you here. Thanks for the note!Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.com