tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post922801708849864161..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: SEED, Part 2Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17540112238042848942010-02-21T13:08:29.850-05:002010-02-21T13:08:29.850-05:00getting warmer...every line opens new layers..getting warmer...every line opens new layers..Antriksh Satyarthihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00773435839422574840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26300564475467494602010-02-21T10:24:33.890-05:002010-02-21T10:24:33.890-05:00Leah, I'm glad the layout is working for you. ...Leah, I'm glad the layout is working for you. All the pieces will be moving toward a convergence and reveal at the end.<br /><br />Catvibe, very cool to see your enthusiasm! My last series was the first one to get off track as it progressed, and sadly, I didn't finish it. I plotted this one out in advance to make sure that it doesn't happen again.<br /><br />Akasha, I'm working on it. :)<br /><br />Nevine, I think I do have a facination with how one person can break another down. To disassemble and reassemble a person. My emotions identify with the victim, and my rational mind identifies with the perpetrator. Weird.<br /><br />Kaye, who has him? That's the big question. :) And <i>why</i>. Hopefully the plot will thicken in part 3. Thanks so much for the feedback on believability! This kind of sequence is hard to write.<br /><br />Mona, not sure if I mentioned it, but that picture is a ultrasound scan of our younger daughter in the womb. She looks a bit bigger and more fleshy now. ;) She's 8. I have another pose for later in the series.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-332233155806670892010-02-21T06:22:22.602-05:002010-02-21T06:22:22.602-05:00so that is how it must be on the rack....
Great p...so that is how it must be on the rack....<br /><br />Great piece, but greater picture, that baby seems to be looking straight into the 'camera' :)Monahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08615034229525061880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18453325562282358732010-02-20T19:47:25.854-05:002010-02-20T19:47:25.854-05:00The very first thing I thought after reading this ...The very first thing I thought after reading this was... it's so believable. I winced hard reading the torture sequences. <br /><br />Yeah...who does have him???<br /><br />Two lines stick out for me:<br />"His heart felt like it was beating miles away." <br />Great description!<br /><br />and - <br />"The voice sounded kinder. Almost apologetic."<br />This is exactly how a torturer/interrogator would behave.<br />I can almost hear the voice.K.Lawson Gilberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11204234196229710524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58029174339211960982010-02-20T15:46:11.595-05:002010-02-20T15:46:11.595-05:00I do still like the very dry and almost mechanical...I do still like the very dry and almost mechanical language you're using. And I'm very intrigued to find out what happens next. What happens when we lower our defenses? What happens when we're ready to do "anything more" just to "keep the pain away." It seems like one of those never-ending scenarios of human existence.<br /><br />NevineNevine Sultanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08794887684860140819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26582929965427442312010-02-20T10:41:12.712-05:002010-02-20T10:41:12.712-05:00That is brilliant. Bring on Part Three!That is brilliant. Bring on Part Three!Akasha Savage.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13482147165827577180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51054486649216413322010-02-20T09:57:37.888-05:002010-02-20T09:57:37.888-05:00I love this Jason! I'm hooked now and curious...I love this Jason! I'm hooked now and curious to know where it is going. I admit to a large smirk when I first read the words "The subject will relax." Really curious now who has got him. Really curious to know about the infant inside the girl. Promise you won't leave us hanging and will finish this!catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-81598594517539941682010-02-20T01:02:16.885-05:002010-02-20T01:02:16.885-05:00And the plot thickens :) Now we're introduced ...And the plot thickens :) Now we're introduced to potential protagonist and antagonist or representatives thereof. But we don't really know yet who is who, and each could potentially be a little of both.<br /><br />I like how we get a general picture of the action at first (in the first part) and now we dive in much deeper to the conflicts.<br /><br />It's working! I'll be following :)Leah McClellanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18183361669157109674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86393258754725813752010-02-19T23:30:55.666-05:002010-02-19T23:30:55.666-05:00Lakeviewer, I'm glad you found it compelling!
...Lakeviewer, I'm glad you found it compelling!<br /><br />Shadow, yes. Not yet.<br /><br />Walking Man, that's cool that you found Jax's experience well constructed. As for the antagonist, we'll have to piece it together with the characters.<br /><br />Szelsofa, thanks! The pacing was the key here.<br /><br />Four Dinners, glad to hear it!<br /><br />Bernita, every time I read your comment, I smile. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53380687920936186462010-02-19T08:32:03.155-05:002010-02-19T08:32:03.155-05:00You've turned on the viseral like a smooth key...You've turned on the viseral like a smooth key in an oiled lock.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11382314968703186522010-02-19T07:35:48.441-05:002010-02-19T07:35:48.441-05:00Whoa!!! Carry on old bean. This is terrific stuff!...Whoa!!! Carry on old bean. This is terrific stuff!!! Got me hooked.DILLIGAFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16520650650468676361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12605159590668116132010-02-19T06:25:24.373-05:002010-02-19T06:25:24.373-05:00it was painful, yet not overly gory/violent at all...it was painful, yet not overly gory/violent at all.<br />the recurring 'the subject will relax' definitely increased the tension. great writing.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-707240347174923892010-02-19T05:12:25.107-05:002010-02-19T05:12:25.107-05:00I Particularly related to Jax waking like that. ...I Particularly related to Jax waking like that. I have been knocked out cold a couple of times (traffic accidents not fights) and that disconnect with random images coming first is exactly what it's like.<br /><br />I'm with Shadow on the rest of it, need more to tell the positions of the players.the walking manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10058913927297370740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-2879066937248762892010-02-19T04:52:47.910-05:002010-02-19T04:52:47.910-05:00don't quite know who's the baddie here... ...don't quite know who's the baddie here... yet.Shadowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05999801833389058410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-2166434419044092472010-02-19T00:58:03.382-05:002010-02-19T00:58:03.382-05:00I'm hooked. Each word strings me along. Keep t...I'm hooked. Each word strings me along. Keep them coming.Rosaria Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133147851332084180noreply@blogger.com