tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post1138957065269472132..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #111Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49232951406963270412009-07-29T21:31:34.722-04:002009-07-29T21:31:34.722-04:00It's interesting how people can paint themselv...It's interesting how people can paint themselves the victim even as they're victimizing others. Great job.Jaye Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09407478042834459126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30799523917117230612009-07-27T08:26:09.985-04:002009-07-27T08:26:09.985-04:00Ouch. Yeah, should have gotten those results firs...Ouch. Yeah, should have gotten those results first. Now it can't be undone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49951688056601441892009-07-20T12:36:31.445-04:002009-07-20T12:36:31.445-04:00What a disgusting amoral character - you wrote him...What a disgusting amoral character - you wrote him really well. It's a real skill to evoke such emotion in your readers.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-69006999857809307042009-07-20T11:39:40.428-04:002009-07-20T11:39:40.428-04:00I had to read twice to perceive the story complete...I had to read twice to perceive the story completely. Was a little complex for me. But loved the way u conjured deep emotions in it. The short reference to his son was spectacular. Can feel for poor Steve, a true victim of his own illusion.Ashishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02632389123101628853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-25763545845853931082009-07-20T09:22:17.713-04:002009-07-20T09:22:17.713-04:00Oooh, that made the hairs prickle on the back of m...Oooh, that made the hairs prickle on the back of my neck. Very well written piece, cleverly told and held together in under 250 words. Well done indeed!Tessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05233122532137654099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48738277245062240922009-07-19T09:23:42.510-04:002009-07-19T09:23:42.510-04:00I like the picture frame at the end. Yes, I did r...I like the picture frame at the end. Yes, I did read it twice, but sometimes in reading so many entries I can move too quickly as a reader. This was wrenching and sad and I felt upset that he killed his son even thinking it was not his son. The fact I felt such strong emotions is evidence that you did a great job.Dottie Camptownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00891885810903269126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-47039071515447871472009-07-18T00:11:45.304-04:002009-07-18T00:11:45.304-04:00Well, after a second reading, I would've defin...Well, after a second reading, I would've definitely introduced that photo frame near the beginning. God, I hope I'm not pestering you. I'm just trying to read back over the entries to make my picks and it ain't easy.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-25918857731083335982009-07-17T16:00:35.872-04:002009-07-17T16:00:35.872-04:00You stirred deep emotion in such a short piece. Th...You stirred deep emotion in such a short piece. There seems like unresolved anger in here...Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60493562239202846552009-07-17T13:15:31.530-04:002009-07-17T13:15:31.530-04:00Hey Bernard,
Yikes is the word :)
Hi PJD
Oh he is...<b>Hey Bernard,</b><br />Yikes is the word :)<br /><br /><b>Hi PJD</b><br />Oh he is hateful,now I think I must have been particularly pissed at the time I wrote this. <br />:Daditihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09464870785851270367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-29978992246888114082009-07-16T17:57:00.716-04:002009-07-16T17:57:00.716-04:00Like Sarah, I hate this guy. Unlike her, I feel n...Like Sarah, I hate this guy. Unlike her, I feel no sympathy for him whatsoever. I really do hate this guy.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48959319194823350762009-07-16T13:35:21.403-04:002009-07-16T13:35:21.403-04:00Yikes!Yikes!BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13614288182050931332009-07-16T09:56:50.967-04:002009-07-16T09:56:50.967-04:00Hey Kurt,
Thanks a lot, especially for the "&...<b>Hey Kurt</b>,<br />Thanks a lot, especially for the ""really, really"!!!<br /><br /><br /><b>Hi Aniket</b>,<br />Did u like it? Yeah it took some doing on my part since I've never chartered this unfamiliar gory territory :)<br /><br /><br /><b>Hello Amanda</b><br />Yeah, poor Ben. Little did he know that daddy isn't gonna save the day.<br /><br /><br /><b>Hello September</b>,<br />Thanks a lot! Don't you wish he burns in hell? <br /><br /><b>Hello Ranee</b>,<br />Yah, well you got that right, I am happy if you're purturbed!<br />Quite insightful of you to notice that AND the bit about Ben. :)aditihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09464870785851270367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40381927342648890662009-07-16T08:45:57.785-04:002009-07-16T08:45:57.785-04:00Aditi, Everybody's talking about "the guy...Aditi, Everybody's talking about "the guy" and he's well drawn. I also think you've made a real character out of that poor, brave child even without saying too much about him.<br /><br />Yes, I'm really disturbed by your story. But that's what you wanted, isn't it?Ranee Kaur Banerjeehttp://www.raneespoems.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-585410452066581712009-07-15T23:04:37.771-04:002009-07-15T23:04:37.771-04:00He won't get away with it. His conscious will ...He won't get away with it. His conscious will torture him forever.<br />This made me shiver. Good work.Esther Avilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840416881970211377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37248092647042547802009-07-15T16:15:04.600-04:002009-07-15T16:15:04.600-04:00Powerful voice in this interesting adaptation of a...Powerful voice in this interesting adaptation of a monologue. I feel sorry for Ben.Amanda F.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11302784595594793121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40792818138393606722009-07-15T12:53:15.334-04:002009-07-15T12:53:15.334-04:00Eeeeks! So not cool!
Can't agree more with Sa...Eeeeks! So not cool!<br /><br />Can't agree more with Sarah L. I really really do hate this guy. To take out grudge on a kid is highly unmanly.<br /><br />You have done you job well with this piece by creating such a character whom everyone despises.<br /><br />Good show!Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-65653269588071155222009-07-15T11:55:02.028-04:002009-07-15T11:55:02.028-04:00I really, really liked this. Excellent job of slo...I really, really liked this. Excellent job of slowly pulling back the curtain as your story unfolds.Kurt Hendrickshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16183333362118745153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76292790034589716932009-07-15T08:52:33.515-04:002009-07-15T08:52:33.515-04:00@Laughingwolf,
Societal concepts, can seem so holl...@Laughingwolf,<br />Societal concepts, can seem so hollow at times, eh?<br /><br />Hi Rohan,<br />Glad u like, but u flatter me. Hey I like that :)<br /><br />Heya Amrita,<br />Where's YOUR entry? and go ahead hate him, I ok with that. <br />:P<br /><br /><br />Hi Patsy,<br />As I said, his whole helplessness lies in the fact that he isnt that convinced he did wrong at all.<br /><br />I can imagine you getting confused. Good you told me, i need hints n tips to work it right.aditihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09464870785851270367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59595909189440407532009-07-15T07:21:03.598-04:002009-07-15T07:21:03.598-04:00Despite knowing that what he's done is very wr...Despite knowing that what he's done is very wrong, I couldn't help having a little sympathy for him.<br /><br />I was a little confused on first reading, because I thought there were two people speaking.Patsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12263765378083045973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-25019158581328336682009-07-15T05:05:55.035-04:002009-07-15T05:05:55.035-04:00ohkayyy!!!
It did shake me up a little. And ya i l...ohkayyy!!!<br />It did shake me up a little. And ya i love d last part too when he puts down the frame. Also, i want to hate this guy, but i can't somehow... <br />Good to see u here. Nice work.. :)allthatmattershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09026074871968031982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-46820729449023833192009-07-15T04:03:30.219-04:002009-07-15T04:03:30.219-04:00Awesome Adi...
Thats where i like it...when he pu...Awesome Adi...<br /><br />Thats where i like it...when he puts the frame down...Rohanhttp://cachememory.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-24779330046418961472009-07-15T04:02:45.323-04:002009-07-15T04:02:45.323-04:00Hello Preacherman,
Thanks! If you felt the pinch, ...Hello Preacherman,<br />Thanks! If you felt the pinch, I'm happy :)<br /><br /><br />Hi JR's Thumbprints,<br />Hmm... nice angle, maybe I can work it that way as a version two especially when there isn't a 250 word limit ;)<br />Thats how the emphasis came out actually to best put across (as per me) the underlying emotions.aditihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09464870785851270367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23464421906115208092009-07-14T17:06:56.901-04:002009-07-14T17:06:56.901-04:00a societal concept, methinks...a societal concept, methinks...laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-37549156454007997662009-07-14T16:31:39.368-04:002009-07-14T16:31:39.368-04:00It's okay to make the reader work for the stor...It's okay to make the reader work for the story but I think I would've introduced that photo frame near the beginning. Make their dialogue come full circle, back to that pic. Interesting emphasis on various words.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11251745169494409762009-07-14T16:28:54.202-04:002009-07-14T16:28:54.202-04:00ouch!
well written and what Sarah says.
Four D...ouch!<br /><br />well written and what Sarah says.<br /><br /><br /><br />Four DinnersThe Preachermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10224135811862587701noreply@blogger.com