tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post114541466828872197..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Diamond Shoals, Part 4, Final (Fiction)Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145766477172241362006-04-23T00:27:00.000-04:002006-04-23T00:27:00.000-04:00Cate, I'm humbled. Thank you! I wanted a powerfu...Cate, I'm humbled. Thank you! I wanted a powerful experience. I wanted folks to run for a towel afterwards. So glad I managed to capture a sense of immediacy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145717999758960342006-04-22T10:59:00.000-04:002006-04-22T10:59:00.000-04:00Jason, You should have seen me, just POUNDING my k...Jason, <BR/><BR/>You should have seen me, just POUNDING my keyboard to get to the next installment in the story! What fabulous suspense. What incredible imagery. I could smell the sea. My clothes felt (still feel) waterlogged. <BR/><BR/>Top notch writing. Beautifully done.Catehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10202276151927596999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145674491910661552006-04-21T22:54:00.000-04:002006-04-21T22:54:00.000-04:00Rene, no one's ever burned their breakfast for me ...Rene, no one's ever burned their breakfast for me before. That's kind of cool! (Sorry about the breakfast, of course.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145637461818463492006-04-21T12:37:00.000-04:002006-04-21T12:37:00.000-04:00Ah, darn it Jason, I got caught up reading this an...Ah, darn it Jason, I got caught up reading this and burned my breakfast. Really good.Renehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14966956368329586135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145591276202535692006-04-20T23:47:00.000-04:002006-04-20T23:47:00.000-04:00Jeff, I appreciate it. =)Jeff, I appreciate it. =)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145577963790162282006-04-20T20:06:00.000-04:002006-04-20T20:06:00.000-04:00Good story, Jason! I agree with the comments about...Good story, Jason! I agree with the comments about the imagery. Well done! :)Jeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06106410070220667314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145565355455178442006-04-20T16:35:00.000-04:002006-04-20T16:35:00.000-04:00Kelly, thanks again for the topic and inspiration....Kelly, thanks again for the topic and inspiration. Glad you liked it!<BR/><BR/>Ann Marie, recently in writing I've been demanding more depth from myself. In past years, I've been guilty of taking too narrow a slice of my fictional world. Glad too see that my efforts are showing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145544347783047902006-04-20T10:45:00.000-04:002006-04-20T10:45:00.000-04:00This is very multi-layered in its meaning because ...This is very multi-layered in its meaning because the idea of filiation is there and it is one of the aspects that gives your prose its depth. "The paradise below". You have really got it in yor skin, this story - that's what I said about poetic sincerity, the only thing that counts. Another truthful whisper weaved through your story that gets through. Thanks.Ann Marie Simardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17940225347124201538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145508172040516812006-04-20T00:42:00.000-04:002006-04-20T00:42:00.000-04:00Jason, Bravo!!! You've done so wonderful with Diam...Jason, Bravo!!! You've done so wonderful with Diamond Shoals!! I'm so glad to have chosen the picture and your imagination opened and created this. Very awesome. Thank you again!! =DKelly (Lynn) Parrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04827605655761900263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145504996345782962006-04-19T23:49:00.000-04:002006-04-19T23:49:00.000-04:00Melissa, much appreciated! I enjoy sharing here a...Melissa, much appreciated! I enjoy sharing here and seeing what does and doesn't work for people.<BR/><BR/>Anne, thanks! I hope it worked for you. Pacing is a delicate skill I'm trying to improve on.<BR/><BR/>A.L., thank you. :) I struggled with portraying the action a bit because I didn't want to get bogged down with everyone's name. Hopefully the extra focus on Patrick paid off.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145503714438556102006-04-19T23:28:00.000-04:002006-04-19T23:28:00.000-04:00I like the characterization. Good stuff.I like the characterization. Good stuff.THE PROFESSORhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06859184508323374288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145500754372538172006-04-19T22:39:00.000-04:002006-04-19T22:39:00.000-04:00i agree with melissa. wonderful imagery, jason! ...i agree with melissa. wonderful imagery, jason! powerful story!anne frasierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13044828332429421657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145479164053969242006-04-19T16:39:00.000-04:002006-04-19T16:39:00.000-04:00Your imagery is just awesome, Jason. It never fai...Your imagery is just awesome, Jason. It never fails to amaze me.<BR/><BR/>Shesawriter is right! Start SUBMITTING!!! There are TONS of markets for short stories.Melissa Amateishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16086267508858187716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145469879567133042006-04-19T14:04:00.000-04:002006-04-19T14:04:00.000-04:00Sarah, sorry, we typed over one another.The second...Sarah, sorry, we typed over one another.<BR/><BR/>The secondary focus of the story for me (after trying to make the sea come alive on the page) was the cycle of generations. The first rescue attempt passed the torch from the generation of Patrick's father to him. The story ends with Patrick standing on the other side of the circle. His time to step down.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145469570592939932006-04-19T13:59:00.000-04:002006-04-19T13:59:00.000-04:00Anne, I'm truly relieved. :) I'm afraid of letti...Anne, I'm truly relieved. :) I'm afraid of letting you all down once I've drawn you into a story.<BR/><BR/>Bernita, much appreciated, Mom. =)<BR/><BR/>Tanya, yes ma'am! :D<BR/><BR/>Eve, it is a little sad when a story ends. I'm glad it had an impact on you. I promise there will be many more!<BR/><BR/>Mermaid, whether they open or close depends on what you want from them.<BR/><BR/>BeadinggalinMS, very cool. :) I'm happy with how this one came out. To be honest, when I started it, I hadn't thought any further than Patrick getting into the boat.<BR/><BR/>Terri, phew! I did feel the pressure on this one. I so wanted a satisfying ending. Glad it worked!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145469164179221172006-04-19T13:52:00.000-04:002006-04-19T13:52:00.000-04:00What a great ending! It truly felt like you comple...What a great ending! It truly felt like you completed a circle here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145468501618838822006-04-19T13:41:00.000-04:002006-04-19T13:41:00.000-04:00Wonderful ending, Jason! It all came full circle,...Wonderful ending, Jason! It all came full circle, and I <I>do</I> like a neat ending :)Terrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03158421102740382411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145463097749843912006-04-19T12:11:00.000-04:002006-04-19T12:11:00.000-04:00Well done Jason. I was on the edge of my seat read...Well done Jason. I was on the edge of my seat reading all the parts, still am on the edge!Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08665167693563457389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145461696463435632006-04-19T11:48:00.000-04:002006-04-19T11:48:00.000-04:00The waves swallow the characters, but then open up...The waves swallow the characters, but then open up for them. It's funny how doors can close and open in the same scene.mermaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15895749686844178804noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145456701687995992006-04-19T10:25:00.000-04:002006-04-19T10:25:00.000-04:00It's done? That's it? Awwww, I was so enjoying t...It's done? That's it? Awwww, I was so enjoying this and now it's over. Your description of the battle against the sea was so vibrant I could almost feel the pull of waves myself. I loved "The sea witches danced their lethal dance."Bailey Stewarthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00639029254352011915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145454702210061782006-04-19T09:51:00.000-04:002006-04-19T09:51:00.000-04:00Jason,Stop writing on the dang blasted blog and su...Jason,<BR/><BR/>Stop writing on the dang blasted blog and submit this stuff! That's an order!Shesawriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14904247751806210823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145444035612377442006-04-19T06:53:00.000-04:002006-04-19T06:53:00.000-04:00Jason.This is superb.Jason.<BR/>This is superb.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1145435006082418032006-04-19T04:23:00.000-04:002006-04-19T04:23:00.000-04:00Oh wow... Well done, Jason.Once I'd "recovered", t...Oh wow... Well done, Jason.<BR/>Once I'd "recovered", the ending made me smile the smile of the <I>very</I> satisfied reader.annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08734374991569484126noreply@blogger.com