tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post1305412882345106114..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #35Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1574675582916369892011-07-29T10:29:42.211-04:002011-07-29T10:29:42.211-04:00Wow, that guy really can't catch a break. But...Wow, that guy really can't catch a break. But myabe he does deserve it some. Solid writing.<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32049624231569289982011-07-25T13:20:58.971-04:002011-07-25T13:20:58.971-04:00Nice work... this is sticking in my mind.Nice work... this is sticking in my mind.Drewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10523069660873286497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-65530927050660630832011-07-23T12:39:07.505-04:002011-07-23T12:39:07.505-04:00Clara - it seems to me that his hell is in the ter...Clara - it seems to me that his hell is in the terrified eyes of others. The demons that chased him had eyes strung on their human-hair necklaces. I think that it wouldn't matter if he escaped through the portals, until he learns to give help to those who need it he is doomed to see pain, fear and accusation in the eyes of others.<br /><br />Did I mention that I liked this? Well I did.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-4347043218382408342011-07-22T02:12:38.977-04:002011-07-22T02:12:38.977-04:00I'm not sure if your MC had any actual remorse...I'm not sure if your MC had any actual remorse or merely a small stab of sympathy for the faces that haunted him. This is a very thought-provoking piece. Well done!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11575677713944217782011-07-21T19:16:12.027-04:002011-07-21T19:16:12.027-04:00So many moments pass us where a callous thought af...So many moments pass us where a callous thought affects others. These are all minor hells, but I like how you've captured a little of this in your story.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14170148559429001125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-73886110900717470682011-07-21T17:31:39.425-04:002011-07-21T17:31:39.425-04:00I'm interested in the "æsthetics" of...I'm interested in the "æsthetics" of this piece, the placement of white space between certain images. Nicely done.jrthumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14552633595464969740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6526405900920138402011-07-20T20:52:07.959-04:002011-07-20T20:52:07.959-04:00Damned if you do, damned if you don't—no escap...Damned if you do, damned if you don't—no escape from ourselves—I like that the woman <i>stormed</i> out into a <i>blizzard</i>—ha! I say it serves her right to freeze to death...pride cometh before a fall and all that—<i>what? But, Lord, it's only fiction</i>....Linda Ryan-Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15164148666810818891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44566501853598726162011-07-20T08:15:08.328-04:002011-07-20T08:15:08.328-04:00Clara...
Your description of hell scared the beje...Clara...<br /><br />Your description of hell scared the bejesus out of me. You may make a Christian out of me after all.<br /><br />Nicely done.Richard Levangiehttp://richardlevangie.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23441183025722481812011-07-19T18:05:49.342-04:002011-07-19T18:05:49.342-04:00That is one bad portal! This sent chills down my s...That is one bad portal! This sent chills down my spine!! Now I shall sleep with the lights on! Fab story, scary but fab! take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18746286718521196802011-07-19T16:29:07.540-04:002011-07-19T16:29:07.540-04:00well told! I feel that I don't even need your ...well told! I feel that I don't even need your final line here. The repeated mistake in favor of self-preservation is, for me, enough to cinch this narrator's karmic fate.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-15583385741961120122011-07-19T16:26:06.804-04:002011-07-19T16:26:06.804-04:00This guy never learns! I love that he is both haun...This guy never learns! I love that he is both haunted and driven by those cold stares - creepy and cold as his heart! ~Jana A.bluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-78326310702211643542011-07-19T14:06:44.065-04:002011-07-19T14:06:44.065-04:00Thanks for the feedback everyone! It's though ...Thanks for the feedback everyone! It's though when English isn't your native language, but I enjoyed every minute of it! : )Clarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00062728322162370588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-7896404053892875312011-07-19T13:21:54.558-04:002011-07-19T13:21:54.558-04:00"Business knows no pity." - And, that..."Business knows no pity." - And, that's why I know, I'd make a sucky businessman. <br /><br />Loved the concept. Its unique and genius. " but the thousands of impaled bodies that guard it assure me no one ever checked. " - is just my kind of humor too. :)Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83663157514520110312011-07-19T11:26:55.988-04:002011-07-19T11:26:55.988-04:00He or is it a She? will always be haunted by the d...He or is it a She? will always be haunted by the decisions made in life and the afterlife as well.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8412412259744313592011-07-19T09:32:37.752-04:002011-07-19T09:32:37.752-04:00That was haunting, just what I like about short fi...That was haunting, just what I like about short fiction, something that sticks, and this certainly does that.Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3278613304899736282011-07-19T02:23:27.606-04:002011-07-19T02:23:27.606-04:00This feels like the opposite of justice - he has t...This feels like the opposite of justice - he has to let another woman die to escape the consequences of letting the first one die. Nasty! I hope it does haunt him.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-47190528007342721152011-07-18T01:03:07.374-04:002011-07-18T01:03:07.374-04:00The first one, OK, I get it. But I have sympathy f...The first one, OK, I get it. But I have sympathy for the MC on the second one.<br /><br />Back when the TV captured and broadcast the brutal beating of Reginald Denny, I was disgusted by all the armchair heroes who said things like, "If *I* was holding that camera, I'd have dropped the camera, gone in, and saved him!" You can't know how you will act until you are actually pursued by demons. We can think about it, prepare for it, even rehearse it. But we can never know how we will act when the time actually comes.<br /><br />This is well written. Good job.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-7933516187850893602011-07-16T21:36:51.046-04:002011-07-16T21:36:51.046-04:00Its so much better to be nice to people! :) Karma?...Its so much better to be nice to people! :) Karma? No?Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-69575563676892101752011-07-16T21:02:15.570-04:002011-07-16T21:02:15.570-04:00Would have been SO much easier to let her just sit...Would have been SO much easier to let her just sit for a minute! Great tale of consequences.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30135795387366439422011-07-16T15:12:04.822-04:002011-07-16T15:12:04.822-04:00Wow. You have really brought this story to life. Y...Wow. You have really brought this story to life. You infuse your tale with a perfect balance of dialogue and description, emphasizing both with heady emotion and adrenaline. I felt this guy's pain, followed by the uncanny desire to jump into the story and give him a good whack over the head. Selfish jerk. I hope he's haunted by those gazes! ;-)<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.com