tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post2530014269587619119..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #170Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17796111155849716052010-01-19T18:08:12.850-05:002010-01-19T18:08:12.850-05:00I thought you did a great job, Peter! I felt like ...I thought you did a great job, Peter! I felt like I was inside the narrator's head.Kathleen A. Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10809993168019150186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-35586969714060201052010-01-19T02:05:55.047-05:002010-01-19T02:05:55.047-05:00hi peter, long time no see!
loved this..very dark...hi peter, long time no see!<br /><br />loved this..very dark and despite surviving, the end is still chilling knowing he danced with death and he knows what's waiting for him on the other side when his time does come..good one<br /><br />janieJaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01307744393832704228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34461364718967316412010-01-18T19:31:14.393-05:002010-01-18T19:31:14.393-05:00Wow. THe setting you created is brilliantly dark. ...Wow. THe setting you created is brilliantly dark. Very well done!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-38072985138527403152010-01-17T18:18:35.289-05:002010-01-17T18:18:35.289-05:00my caveat
Something I Would Keep
"and not yet...<br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">my caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />"and not yet with my soul" - that line is haunting - it keeps coming back to me.<br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />Second to last paragraph might need an extra question mark, after "waiting" -Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88980744612053686712010-01-17T14:19:55.208-05:002010-01-17T14:19:55.208-05:00To cheat death but have an omen that lives on to c...To cheat death but have an omen that lives on to call it back. Yikes!Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63100201859503874492010-01-17T04:15:16.462-05:002010-01-17T04:15:16.462-05:00Very well done. I'm amazed at how well you'...Very well done. I'm amazed at how well you've visualized the entire piece before presenting it to the reader. The imagery is very compelling.Preetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00279859240371070699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76479163390384556852010-01-16T19:20:49.177-05:002010-01-16T19:20:49.177-05:00Love that last line. Awesome job.Love that last line. Awesome job.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70005254774344181732010-01-16T13:20:03.024-05:002010-01-16T13:20:03.024-05:00Purgatory is sometime the pain we endure. Interest...Purgatory is sometime the pain we endure. Interesting premise.James R. Tomlinsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28102821860157716702010-01-16T11:49:33.363-05:002010-01-16T11:49:33.363-05:00This is a very fine description of a near-death ex...This is a very fine description of a near-death experience. You have captured the trauma, confusion, isolation and longing very well. Good job.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-78631506139220470202010-01-15T12:59:26.248-05:002010-01-15T12:59:26.248-05:00To hell and back!To hell and back!Kartikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01067636999700672077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91720502675063453902010-01-14T18:16:34.769-05:002010-01-14T18:16:34.769-05:00I like the way you've used the window to expre...I like the way you've used the window to express the passage of time while keeping the character in a single flow.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28438408200383977582010-01-14T16:42:18.964-05:002010-01-14T16:42:18.964-05:00'How are you feeling' is indeed often an u...'How are you feeling' is indeed often an unanswerable question.Patsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12263765378083045973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90072664526925003252010-01-14T11:58:49.195-05:002010-01-14T11:58:49.195-05:00A well told story. I loved the last line.A well told story. I loved the last line.Deb Smythenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71574202600155069942010-01-14T08:36:14.141-05:002010-01-14T08:36:14.141-05:00Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read a...Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read and comment, it's appreciated!<br />Peterpeter davidsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49322465596220783842010-01-14T03:29:43.534-05:002010-01-14T03:29:43.534-05:00Terrifying but in a good way. She capture the help...Terrifying but in a good way. She capture the helplessness of someone in that situation so well.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344917148662934359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83272671614649576672010-01-13T15:30:23.082-05:002010-01-13T15:30:23.082-05:00Greatly written. Can't add much because well.....Greatly written. Can't add much because well... it is perfect!lenahttp://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48425978840267738192010-01-13T09:36:50.964-05:002010-01-13T09:36:50.964-05:00good one, peter...good one, peter...laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-39549661959487448872010-01-13T08:07:59.406-05:002010-01-13T08:07:59.406-05:00I get that he's in a hospital and having suffe...I get that he's in a hospital and having suffered a heart attack or some such (I inferred that from the last sentence), in and out of consciousness. Then in the last sentence, he's remembering that trauma. But the way you wrote it was like a bad dream. I love the way you express the nurses as 'faces', because that would be what it would be like on a large dose of morphene I imagine. Just excellent, I loved it.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58857086773896717962010-01-13T03:14:21.614-05:002010-01-13T03:14:21.614-05:00Spine chilling. Great work with building the setti...Spine chilling. Great work with building the setting of the story.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28976870694343031442010-01-13T02:47:30.233-05:002010-01-13T02:47:30.233-05:00Liked the way you showed the coming and going.. re...Liked the way you showed the coming and going.. really liked that.<br /><br />Not sure you need that last line...austerehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16839224877080864005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86276138145251242442010-01-12T19:39:34.584-05:002010-01-12T19:39:34.584-05:00A sudden trauma nicely expressed, in both real and...A sudden trauma nicely expressed, in both real and symbolic terms.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-57154049164965525952010-01-12T19:36:28.036-05:002010-01-12T19:36:28.036-05:00Very dark, very cool. You convey a real sense of ...Very dark, very cool. You convey a real sense of hopelessness that gives me the shivers...in a good way of course. :-)Anthony Rapinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11581208296144295224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45943456292656129882010-01-12T19:01:59.797-05:002010-01-12T19:01:59.797-05:00Harbinger of what we fear. This is that alone kind...Harbinger of what we fear. This is that alone kind of scary you feel when its dark and you are far away from everyone else.<br /><br />Killer mood setting.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.com