tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post2879476916783856161..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #2Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45823447481283089392008-02-20T14:06:00.000-05:002008-02-20T14:06:00.000-05:00This is a story that is easy to relate to, whether...This is a story that is easy to relate to, whether we've actually lived out this scenario or not. The choices we make along the way, regrets, missed opportunities,wanting more. <BR/><BR/>Great story, I'd give this one top marks.Geraldine https://www.blogger.com/profile/07410019941984295767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14164524792772714692007-11-21T10:18:00.000-05:002007-11-21T10:18:00.000-05:00Something about the opening description was very p...Something about the opening description was very powerful and meaningful. I can hear the fatigue in her voice. A potent moment.<BR/><BR/>Congratulations on the honorable mention!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23426919519675517402007-11-20T07:08:00.000-05:002007-11-20T07:08:00.000-05:00Congratulations!This was a quiet winner. The last ...Congratulations!<BR/>This was a quiet winner. The last couple of lines really pull it all together!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-20419601728949450652007-11-16T11:12:00.000-05:002007-11-16T11:12:00.000-05:00Like abhinav I'm reading this again and appreciati...Like abhinav I'm reading this again and appreciating it more. It's difficult to write about an affair. Writers over compensate to make the characters seem sympathetic making the story flat and one dimensional. The simplicity in your character development keeps you away from that pitfall. Nice work.Dottie Camptownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00891885810903269126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-82740038882446935262007-11-16T09:50:00.000-05:002007-11-16T09:50:00.000-05:00I have read it once again now and it stands out fo...I have read it once again now and it stands out for its simplicity. The sentence 'We used the sky to mark our time.' opens your story with elan. And the struggle conveyed through the dialogues is impressive. In short, love it...Abhinavhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15760314837510920601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55558221993976620682007-11-16T04:13:00.000-05:002007-11-16T04:13:00.000-05:00You've captured the feeling of the situation very ...You've captured the feeling of the situation very well.<BR/>Great last line.rainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04258822737734173873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30752959920742201142007-11-10T19:27:00.000-05:002007-11-10T19:27:00.000-05:00I've never been in a situation such as this, but y...I've never been in a situation such as this, but you've written it so well, I feel like I'm missing something. Very nice.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17335415338155220244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11984223879662132152007-11-09T01:32:00.000-05:002007-11-09T01:32:00.000-05:00Simple, somehow sweet, and oh so true to life.Simple, somehow sweet, and oh so true to life.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12153878171712341666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-87001076646953818372007-11-08T18:37:00.000-05:002007-11-08T18:37:00.000-05:00Nice vignette! I really like your last line.Nice vignette! I really like your last line.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51149827562550897562007-11-08T09:09:00.000-05:002007-11-08T09:09:00.000-05:00Sky mirrors the soul, perhaps? Strong dialogue her...Sky mirrors the soul, perhaps? Strong dialogue here.JRVogthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11501549592361240370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-36105537860186039412007-11-08T05:51:00.000-05:002007-11-08T05:51:00.000-05:00do the clouds reflect his own thoughts/conscience....do the clouds reflect his own thoughts/conscience...? I wonder...SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70566643432036693042007-11-07T23:08:00.000-05:002007-11-07T23:08:00.000-05:00I like your simple, effective dialogue. You manage...I like your simple, effective dialogue. You managed to pack a lot of personal history within a very narrow frame. <BR/><BR/>That last line is biting, and superb. I think we've all had that sense before. Nicely done.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.com