tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post3955862109539724184..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #51Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89841407554536730982011-08-01T03:33:34.680-04:002011-08-01T03:33:34.680-04:00@Janey: Thanks :-)
@Jason: Honored! Thank you.@Janey: Thanks :-)<br /><br />@Jason: Honored! Thank you.Chocohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11426029151560831146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-81271704199402462532011-07-29T18:31:31.533-04:002011-07-29T18:31:31.533-04:00A fascinating structure. Something between poetry...A fascinating structure. Something between poetry and prose. I think it worked. Well done!<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-50417644551008507222011-07-25T16:13:53.746-04:002011-07-25T16:13:53.746-04:00Choco - I thought this was very beautiful and I lo...Choco - I thought this was very beautiful and I loved that the *red* had conflicting meaning. Well written.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-15284391947396398312011-07-25T05:33:34.383-04:002011-07-25T05:33:34.383-04:00@All
Thank you@All<br />Thank youChocohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11426029151560831146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-87030661440583767912011-07-22T02:05:19.300-04:002011-07-22T02:05:19.300-04:00I agree with Aimee Lane - haunting. This piece pro...I agree with Aimee Lane - haunting. This piece provokes so many emotions and thoughts. Well done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-497718202058385712011-07-21T15:30:26.747-04:002011-07-21T15:30:26.747-04:00I really enjoyed the quietness of emotion. Thank y...I really enjoyed the quietness of emotion. Thank you.Richard Levangiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16596356126446766607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67454562246621439902011-07-21T14:41:36.958-04:002011-07-21T14:41:36.958-04:00I like your word choice and flow, and the subtle r...I like your word choice and flow, and the subtle range of emotions you draw from the color red.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-4725437906098956952011-07-21T00:02:40.081-04:002011-07-21T00:02:40.081-04:00Beautiful imagery. Thank you for sharing!Beautiful imagery. Thank you for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77047604688694617352011-07-20T21:45:23.051-04:002011-07-20T21:45:23.051-04:00I like how well this poem captures the story of wh...I like how well this poem captures the story of why she can't come. The single idea of color ties this piece together and captures the idea of cultural differences.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14170148559429001125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-50799610910941147402011-07-20T10:23:00.712-04:002011-07-20T10:23:00.712-04:00I'm imagining this written in Bengali...maybe ...I'm imagining this written in Bengali...maybe you should do a translated version? Darooon is right :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04283371140346602856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12822558398113961042011-07-20T05:34:35.145-04:002011-07-20T05:34:35.145-04:00@fairyhedgehog:
Thanks. Don’t worry about her. The...@fairyhedgehog:<br />Thanks. Don’t worry about her. The piece is fictional. I wrote it in the frame of mind of an outsider, viewing a culture that is foreign to her and wanting to join in… but not being able to…. Whatever the reason… Not necessarily an abusive husband… But that is where the story led me :-)<br /><br /><br />@Dottie<br />Thank you.<br />Let me try to explain a little.<br />Married women in Bengal traditionally used to wear white cotton saris with red border while stepping out and for special occasions. Also the mark of the married Hindu woman is that she wears vermillion in the parting of her hair. Vermillion is bright red in color. Alta is a red liquid that women wear on their feet in Bengal. Pujo means worship. And in this case I was thinking September/October when the Goddess is worshipped in that part of the world. :)<br /><br /><br />@Bluesugarpoet @Peter<br />Thank you :-)Chocohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11426029151560831146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28763848662353006292011-07-20T05:32:34.853-04:002011-07-20T05:32:34.853-04:00@j a zobair @ Aimee Laine
Thank you :-)
@Rohan
D...@j a zobair @ Aimee Laine <br />Thank you :-)<br /><br />@Rohan<br />Darun? Really? :D Thanks :)Chocohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11426029151560831146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91213372664166437562011-07-20T05:31:48.717-04:002011-07-20T05:31:48.717-04:00@Aniket:
I knew that this post has heavy referenc...@Aniket: <br />I knew that this post has heavy references to the Bengali culture. But when I saw the picture for the contest, I just wanted to submit this piece. I had not wanted to follow structure when I wrote it and then I did not want to change it. Thanks a lot for your feedback. Much appreciated :)Chocohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11426029151560831146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90526246602474473592011-07-20T01:54:43.692-04:002011-07-20T01:54:43.692-04:00I agree with both bluesugarpoet and Fairy Hedgehog...I agree with both bluesugarpoet and Fairy Hedgehog. One thing I really like about this is the way you use repetition in a very deliberate way. That's not easy to pull off in a way that is both authentic and poetic. Well done.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-57287667392992788802011-07-19T17:45:39.671-04:002011-07-19T17:45:39.671-04:00I am a sucker for poetry - and I love this! Fractu...I am a sucker for poetry - and I love this! Fractured and infused with emotion. The structure echos her heart - I wouldn't change a thing. Beautiful work! ~Janabluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76756404975666033752011-07-19T12:33:32.558-04:002011-07-19T12:33:32.558-04:00I like the "feel" of this piece, I'v...I like the "feel" of this piece, I've read it several times now...trying to understand the culturization.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23803012401810765952011-07-19T04:04:09.730-04:002011-07-19T04:04:09.730-04:00I liked the different symbolism of the colour red ...I liked the different symbolism of the colour red for the different people in the story. I can't help wishing the main character could escape.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71795933549396483462011-07-18T15:59:19.087-04:002011-07-18T15:59:19.087-04:00Well done, Choco!
As Aniket said.
But a great ta...Well done, Choco!<br /><br />As Aniket said.<br /><br />But a great take nonetheless. <br /><br />Word verification : Darun<br />Means 'Awesome' in Bengali...whoa!Rohannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59965148368905882252011-07-18T13:31:56.204-04:002011-07-18T13:31:56.204-04:00Ooooh that is absolutely haunting. Wow. Great job!...Ooooh that is absolutely haunting. Wow. Great job!Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58639004792724813212011-07-18T12:12:08.556-04:002011-07-18T12:12:08.556-04:00Georgeous and dripping with sadness/fury.
It rem...Georgeous and dripping with sadness/fury. <br /><br />It reminds me of Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's short story, "Clothes," which tells the story of a (brief) Indian marriage through the wife's sarees--pink at the bride viewing, blue for her journey to America, etc. <br /><br />Lovely.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-61920274533287638062011-07-18T11:20:53.535-04:002011-07-18T11:20:53.535-04:00I like the concept here, though I feel as if many ...I like the concept here, though I feel as if many who are unaware of indian customs would get the gravity of your words. I also, believe that if you'd stick to a structure (counting syllables, really helps me out) it'll give the piece a much easier flow and add more depth to the concept.<br /><br />I still liked it muchly though. Its unlike in the contest so far. Thanks for sharing.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.com