tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post4016755054520462544..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Forties Club Finalist #28Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-66016030316355000672010-08-03T16:35:35.676-04:002010-08-03T16:35:35.676-04:00Thought I'd let you know: you were my top pick...Thought I'd let you know: you were my top pick. Of course, it's all subjective once you make the top five and/or honorable mention. Congrats on an excellent story!JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10141644156300520922010-08-02T11:09:04.243-04:002010-08-02T11:09:04.243-04:00Wow! This one really grabs me. Excellent the way ...Wow! This one really grabs me. Excellent the way you tied the opening and closing lines together, making a circle. And what an interesting disorder to have! Lovely irony that while most are 'blue' when grieving, for her, it is the absence of blue. <br /><br />Love the originality of this.Catherine Viberthttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77179939753015441642010-07-29T14:36:20.326-04:002010-07-29T14:36:20.326-04:00Sometimes you can achieve a strong visual connecti...Sometimes you can achieve a strong visual connection with the absence of a color rather than describing things that ARE that color. This is a perfect example of that because you tie the color blue into something with emotional depth and physical reality. <br /><br />Loved the descriptions of hearing sounds as colors: the voice like heat lightning, the gray days, the red snags and the rainbows arcs. Most poignantly, the absence of blue. <br /><br />Beautiful.Vincent Kalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04625863843215035035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10169417382268912512010-07-29T10:04:34.448-04:002010-07-29T10:04:34.448-04:00aw.
very sad piece. well written.
there's so m...aw.<br />very sad piece. well written.<br />there's so much love and emotion to it.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12510842888317491182010-07-29T06:50:21.605-04:002010-07-29T06:50:21.605-04:00Ditto what Sarah said...I remembered a piece from ...Ditto what Sarah said...I remembered a piece from the last contest as well.<br /><br />This is a great combo of clean writing, imagery, and emotional effect. By the end of the write-up, blue is very representative of the mother and <i>the absence of blue</i> therefore very poignant.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18388616503183278462010-07-29T05:21:36.567-04:002010-07-29T05:21:36.567-04:00It is the absence of blue
That just broke my hear...<i>It is the absence of blue</i><br /><br />That just broke my heart.<br /><br />Superb.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-36032261726876797962010-07-28T17:32:46.915-04:002010-07-28T17:32:46.915-04:00I'm in love with the tie between your opening ...I'm in love with the tie between your opening and closing lines.<br /><br />A strong piece. Two thumbs up.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-70659198666391692612010-07-28T15:52:18.599-04:002010-07-28T15:52:18.599-04:00Two words. 'Good' and 'very'. Not ...Two words. 'Good' and 'very'. Not in that order.Lewis Petershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07977006391190429073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10280342674888493572010-07-28T13:49:15.088-04:002010-07-28T13:49:15.088-04:00For some weird reason I read the comments before t...For some weird reason I read the comments before the story. Based on the glowing reviews, I expected to be disappointed. Far from it. It actually moved me to tears. <br /><br />Explain that to the customers who think I'm actually working on this computer!Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49370739073913311272010-07-28T10:06:22.354-04:002010-07-28T10:06:22.354-04:00Well done.
My favorite line: The air glistens with...Well done.<br />My favorite line: The air glistens with her sigh.<br />Just beautiful.Deb Smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10990130480508998598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-88842085033525120332010-07-28T08:22:20.839-04:002010-07-28T08:22:20.839-04:00This is amazing. I can almost imagine seeing the c...This is amazing. I can almost imagine seeing the colours swirling through the air as people talk. The last line is heartbreaking, it's so clear how she feels without her mother there.akikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06517191053563542241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79643576167521791442010-07-28T05:16:24.888-04:002010-07-28T05:16:24.888-04:00This was really well done. I wondered how the syne...This was really well done. I wondered how the synesthesia fitted in - and then I got to the end. <br /><br />Very moving.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8627257473268851712010-07-28T04:03:47.899-04:002010-07-28T04:03:47.899-04:00Cleverly done. Wonderful prompt use.Cleverly done. Wonderful prompt use.Rachel Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13048590167153841615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53316442386881576022010-07-27T23:14:00.479-04:002010-07-27T23:14:00.479-04:00Hi J.
Very poignant! Hard subject, I loved your ...Hi J.<br /><br />Very poignant! Hard subject, I loved your use of colors and the absence of blue. Another to add to my favorites. <br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-75957021754502540612010-07-27T18:08:07.858-04:002010-07-27T18:08:07.858-04:00That was really beautiful. Gorgeously written and ...That was really beautiful. Gorgeously written and poignant. I wanted to know the mother's motivations for not choosing chemo. There's so much emphasis on the senses here, I kind of wondered if there was meant to be a connection. But I like the wondering.<br />I loved this one!Kimberly B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06915078905615036882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71729911896385751302010-07-27T16:53:23.950-04:002010-07-27T16:53:23.950-04:00Very touching tale. I'm not sure you needed th...Very touching tale. I'm not sure you needed the second paragraph the tale is strong enough without it.Hilarynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12261048556862394202010-07-26T20:00:27.611-04:002010-07-26T20:00:27.611-04:00As someone recently recovered from cancer, this on...As someone recently recovered from cancer, this one hit home. I particularly liked how the first and last lines tied the story up in a nice little bow. A blue one, of course.Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14751567478811396094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90692149622463597952010-07-26T19:14:52.070-04:002010-07-26T19:14:52.070-04:00Beauitful, indeed.Beauitful, indeed.Angel Zapatahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01166540490117426226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31796078052102248632010-07-26T06:42:03.203-04:002010-07-26T06:42:03.203-04:00Beautiful piece, and such a sad last line.Beautiful piece, and such a sad last line.Shona Snowdenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02588447219623308333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86354845256154230272010-07-24T18:21:58.680-04:002010-07-24T18:21:58.680-04:00Definitely my favorite thus far. Beautifully use o...Definitely my favorite thus far. Beautifully use of color and emotions...all the way to the end.Esther Avilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840416881970211377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91248593118845687562010-07-24T06:00:03.943-04:002010-07-24T06:00:03.943-04:00I've read a majority of the stories (so far). ...I've read a majority of the stories (so far). This one is memorable. I like the use of senses and color.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3130442567210134852010-07-24T02:08:51.527-04:002010-07-24T02:08:51.527-04:00Nice interlacing of color and emotion, and a meani...Nice interlacing of color and emotion, and a meaningful telling of mother and child. I like the poetry of this piece.Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-61134014312403827672010-07-23T23:23:09.431-04:002010-07-23T23:23:09.431-04:00Reminds me of a piece from the last contest and ha...Reminds me of a piece from the last contest and having trouble divorcing the two. I love the last line.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76519132661272258532010-07-23T19:38:22.654-04:002010-07-23T19:38:22.654-04:00You've crafted a gorgeous piece that feels mor...You've crafted a gorgeous piece that feels more like vignette than flash; and I do so love vignettes. I would remove the "the doctors call it" line and leave the rest. As a starting place for a longer piece.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6379337380344047842010-07-23T19:28:23.093-04:002010-07-23T19:28:23.093-04:00So interesting...personally, I think it'd be p...So interesting...personally, I think it'd be pretty cool to see the color of someone's voice.Oddyoddyo13https://www.blogger.com/profile/05557994037779209704noreply@blogger.com