tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post4167785603580799167..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #75Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28606266238937348492011-07-31T13:09:06.488-04:002011-07-31T13:09:06.488-04:00I liked the exploration of the character's des...I liked the exploration of the character's descent into powerlessness. The story is rally poised to launch at the end. Very well written.<br /><br />Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-25829436004927857222011-07-28T09:58:46.059-04:002011-07-28T09:58:46.059-04:00Very poetic indeed. Some of your sentences are lik...Very poetic indeed. Some of your sentences are like candies for the soul. Thank you for your warm comments and wishes. It is great to discover this community of writers building into one network of wrench souls! ;-)L.A Speedwinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734240100355616049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-79332005401400271112011-07-28T09:54:15.134-04:002011-07-28T09:54:15.134-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.L.A Speedwinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07734240100355616049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30825934263258636942011-07-25T18:26:22.249-04:002011-07-25T18:26:22.249-04:00I assume it is her husband he murders, Richard. ...I assume it is her husband he murders, Richard. I love that he is aware of the corruption of his moral fibre and that he cares not a fig. You have achieved a stunning portrait of the corruption of lust here. Well done.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-54198007780205488442011-07-25T02:48:29.356-04:002011-07-25T02:48:29.356-04:00Very, very, Very lyrical, reads almost like a poem...Very, very, Very lyrical, reads almost like a poem. Would love to read more of your writing.Damyanti Biswashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12730222708740037475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89410627897107609952011-07-24T12:55:36.771-04:002011-07-24T12:55:36.771-04:00"... soft, subtle symphony [...] that I leane..."... soft, subtle symphony [...] that I leaned closer to hear."<br />"... I found more of her, and less of me."<br />"I had never known anyone else before, would never know anyone again."<br /><br />Richard, this is an inescapably seductive piece that found an answering note on my heartstrings. Beautifully wrought, lyricism in prose, and a perfect twist at the end. I want to step in and save your protagonist before he wields the weapon, that final leg in his "voyage of the damned", but would it do any good? I still refuse to accept he might be beyond redemption, but is he really? <br /><br />You've gained a fan :)Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31774616698009666602011-07-23T19:48:31.411-04:002011-07-23T19:48:31.411-04:00A beautiful pleasure. I like how it opens with hop...A beautiful pleasure. I like how it opens with hope and lightness and turns darker with each paragraph delivering on the tension it creates.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14170148559429001125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-7618800106825967142011-07-23T14:50:03.998-04:002011-07-23T14:50:03.998-04:00This is a story of the depths to which desire can ...This is a story of the depths to which desire can drive a soul held in its throes. To possess the object of desire completely, a man is willing to commit the unspeakable act of murder. Yet, he asks us to believe that the seed of murder was planted by his lover while they engaged in tender moments of pillow talk. Maybe or maybe not— because even he admits that he cannot emphatically say, but in desperation attempts to cast a shadow of doubt as to his complete and utter culpability. What we do know for certain is that he confessed of his own volition: 'I made plans both rational and unholy.' No, this is not a crime of passion, but a willful act of murder, planned and executed by one person—and one person only—a manipulative seducer and not the seduced. The prosecution rests, your Honor.Linda Ryan-Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15164148666810818891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-87757757428102604572011-07-22T22:59:33.013-04:002011-07-22T22:59:33.013-04:00"With each intense, unhurried pleasuring, I f..."With each intense, unhurried pleasuring, I found more of her, and less of me." Great line!Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03115002505324651653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1837600734685904592011-07-22T18:01:31.562-04:002011-07-22T18:01:31.562-04:00There was a rhythmic rush of lyricism to this tale...There was a rhythmic rush of lyricism to this tale that grabbed hold and wouldn't let go. Your narrator's voice radiated from the page, guiding me every step of the way. The language was beautiful. Excellent work.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-35405637250248905602011-07-22T18:00:01.116-04:002011-07-22T18:00:01.116-04:00The narrator is well and truly hooked!!!! Very sen...The narrator is well and truly hooked!!!! Very sensual and such a sexy read, thank you. Take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91476770997066165922011-07-22T14:21:02.857-04:002011-07-22T14:21:02.857-04:00'voyage of the damned' perhaps, but you ma...'voyage of the damned' perhaps, but you make it so enticing. I want a silver hook. I hope the devil is in that detail. Loved this.Jodi MacArthurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13373591664178281529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-54410430450012892532011-07-22T14:14:52.724-04:002011-07-22T14:14:52.724-04:00I think I saw a lot of myself in this, kind of sca...I think I saw a lot of myself in this, kind of scary, but well worth it. I continue to be humbled by the talent on display in every one of these entries.Michael Morsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07451637745981389920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-51868429740349580542011-07-22T12:36:28.705-04:002011-07-22T12:36:28.705-04:00Nice description of descent into the control of a ...Nice description of descent into the control of a woman. Wow.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89075435730867690342011-07-22T11:51:49.297-04:002011-07-22T11:51:49.297-04:00What a swift and dark descent. I was drawn into it...What a swift and dark descent. I was drawn into it as much as the protagonist.<br /><br />However, this could have taken an interesting turn if it had been a fishing story!<br /><br />Wonderful, Richard.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-823006676884610912011-07-22T10:55:27.305-04:002011-07-22T10:55:27.305-04:00Bluesugar — He most certainly was not teasing! Men...Bluesugar — He most certainly was not teasing! Men never lie about such things.<br /><br />I know, Lisa... LOL. When I first thought about entering, I wanted to create something light and airy, but that inspiration never arrived. Except for the opening paragraph, I guess.<br /><br />Thanks to you both for reading!Richard Levangiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16596356126446766607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-57785160048065394162011-07-21T20:15:15.348-04:002011-07-21T20:15:15.348-04:00And you thought mine was disturbing! LOL I enjoyed...And you thought mine was disturbing! LOL I enjoyed this. Nice description and good twist at the end!Lisa Gail Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03648323153868702165noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-80940661886540366202011-07-21T16:07:15.449-04:002011-07-21T16:07:15.449-04:00The imagery is evocative and tantalizing! My husba...The imagery is evocative and tantalizing! My husband often tells me that I don't know the power I have over him, and I always thought he was just teasing... ;) ~Jana Abluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-27786772288046621122011-07-21T12:26:57.576-04:002011-07-21T12:26:57.576-04:00Precie: Thanks for commenting, and the kind words....Precie: Thanks for commenting, and the kind words. You’ve earned a special place in my heart.<br /><br />Cat: I was glad to find you here; I didn’t know you were a CoN aficionado. I appreciate the compliment.<br /><br />Steve: Thanks for reading. I’m not sure anyone should brush up on Donne during the gorgeous German summer.<br /><br />Aimee: I appreciate the comment.<br /><br />Aerin: Thanks for reading. I notice when you don’t like something, you change the subject, so... I wasn’t planning to enter until Monday when I woke up and this vignette seemed to be waiting for me. I love when that happens.<br /><br />Dottie: Thank you! My intention was to combine lyricism with bold-faced practicality. Glad you liked it.<br /><br />SzélsőFa: Thanks for noticing... To the extent that I rewrote, it was to keep the water metaphor flowing<br /><br />J.A.: Gosh, Nabakov? You made my day! Okay, my month!<br /><br />Col: Thank you, and thanks for reading!<br /><br />Tori: Thanks. I write MG and YA, so dipping my toes in "The Postman Always Rings Twice" was a fun exercise. <br /><br />Sarah: LOL... Not sure what to think of the first bit, but I’m always glad to surprise. Thanks for the kind words.Richard Levangiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16596356126446766607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6884308243521971232011-07-20T22:59:25.536-04:002011-07-20T22:59:25.536-04:00This surprised me, Richard. And in a good way.
I...This surprised me, Richard. And in a good way. <br /><br /><i>I found more of her, and less of me.</i> This is especially nice. But I really enjoyed how deftly you carried the metaphor of being swept away and how the language seemed to indulge (and even luxuriate in) those feelings of helplessness. Very well done.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13108116361196740962011-07-20T21:47:18.560-04:002011-07-20T21:47:18.560-04:00My my, such brazen sensuousness. "What a wick...My my, such brazen sensuousness. "What a wicked game, seeking that sunken jewel."Tori Sclinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77607060048706232092011-07-20T17:45:58.179-04:002011-07-20T17:45:58.179-04:00Exquisite writing, Richard.
Regards,
ColExquisite writing, Richard.<br /><br />Regards,<br />ColAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17913040012695421077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-19485508580874623102011-07-20T11:02:58.214-04:002011-07-20T11:02:58.214-04:00Oh, wow. Beautiful and wretched. For me, this evok...Oh, wow. Beautiful and wretched. For me, this evokes shades of Nabokov, especially the fifth paragraph.<br /><br />Amazing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-7262759947561177862011-07-20T08:12:52.586-04:002011-07-20T08:12:52.586-04:00i like the constant reference to water, a feminine...i like the constant reference to water, a feminine element - while the narrator represents a masculine voice (and presence) throughout the story.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-80968412500286034582011-07-20T00:37:49.484-04:002011-07-20T00:37:49.484-04:00Very sensual, seductive, liked "he would die....Very sensual, seductive, liked "he would die. And I would kill him." right in the middle of feeling seduced....<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.com