tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post4331679967437639866..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: CityJason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86792329733588786372008-04-08T12:34:00.000-04:002008-04-08T12:34:00.000-04:00A very good piece, Jason, very nicely written. It ...A very good piece, Jason, very nicely written. It leaves me slightly worried about her, though; what if it's a bad guy, what if the bronze statue can't hide her...Vesperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12417602625059442986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44538002431503898692008-04-07T09:53:00.000-04:002008-04-07T09:53:00.000-04:00Sarah, you captured the essential emotions of the ...Sarah, you captured the essential emotions of the scene. I know I'm a subtle writer, leaving the impact of the scene up to the reader's perception. It's very gratifying when I see it communicated. Thanks for telling me.<BR/><BR/>Wordtryst, many evenings seem to be like this one this spring. Today is grey.<BR/><BR/>Apprentice, ha! It should be fun.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32965190997368039512008-04-06T08:06:00.000-04:002008-04-06T08:06:00.000-04:00Yes I liked the dialougue very much indeed,but I f...Yes I liked the dialougue very much indeed,but I fear for the poor guy who is approaching her!apprenticehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13784785172285984036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-7549173581779980502008-04-06T00:57:00.000-04:002008-04-06T00:57:00.000-04:00Wonderful and evocative. I was right there in the ...Wonderful and evocative. I was right there in the bar with her, and outside in the rain. This is really good writing.Liane Spicerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05035607144500219524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-72863697822583617042008-04-05T15:47:00.000-04:002008-04-05T15:47:00.000-04:00Wonderful, Jason. I could smell the pavement and o...Wonderful, Jason. I could smell the pavement and ozone in this one, and feel the mist on my cheeks. She is lonely, sure, but not intimidated or undone. I liked her quite a bit. <BR/><BR/>The statue was a master stroke. And the last line has a great, dark giddiness about it that feels so right. <BR/><BR/>I'll have to go take a listen to the song now. :)Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-72306786678481328242008-04-04T11:11:00.000-04:002008-04-04T11:11:00.000-04:00Paisley, thank you. :) I like the little refuge ...Paisley, thank you. :) I like the little refuge for her too. She could speak a little to the world itself without the distraction of people.<BR/><BR/>Szelsofa, that is high praise! Creating a sense of presence in stories is what I have tried so hard to achieve.<BR/><BR/>Ello, I like how The Clarity of Night is populated with so many different people, all of whom feel real to me. It's a community that I can turn to if I want to carry the characters further. And thank for letting me know this is your favorite so far. That helps me understand what folks like to read.<BR/><BR/>Precie, I hope you got through the day without being booked for assault!! I'm glad you like your walk through Philly.<BR/><BR/>Meghan, great to see you! This piece was one of those times when a scene, a moment, forced itself into my head.<BR/><BR/>Kelly, thanks for stopping by! It's always a pleasure to talk to old friends. :) Your writing success is inspirational.<BR/><BR/>Naxcz, thanks so much for coming over from Youtube!! I find inspiration in many places, music and videos being som of them. Sara's song is so powerful. Thank you for the very kind words. I hope to be seeing more of you, both here and on your own blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5224117021165301872008-04-04T07:32:00.000-04:002008-04-04T07:32:00.000-04:00I don't even know who you are, and I could probabl...I don't even know who you are, and I could probably say that the only link between the two of us is that we're both blogging at blogspot.com and we both admire Sara Bareilles' song City on Youtube, which is how I came to find your site. Just wanna say that I love the way you write, and of all the vignettes you've written here, I love this one the best. You're good!Naxcz.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13188027676795875809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3540107770377186522008-04-03T23:27:00.000-04:002008-04-03T23:27:00.000-04:00Jason, very cool! Aa great piece!Jason, very cool! Aa great piece!Kelly (Lynn) Parrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04827605655761900263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-54121264337938518412008-04-03T19:10:00.000-04:002008-04-03T19:10:00.000-04:00Hola! Just wanted to jump in and say great job. I ...Hola! Just wanted to jump in and say great job. I can really feel the humiliation of the poor girl in the bar. That would be awful.Meghanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03375626649089998707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-20286043378442265622008-04-03T11:20:00.000-04:002008-04-03T11:20:00.000-04:00I enjoyed that! Made me miss Philly. I agree wit...I enjoyed that! Made me miss Philly. I agree with Aine, though, that it made me glad I'm not part of that "scene," especially the vulnerable bar part. If I end up slapping a random spiky-haired guy today, I'll have to blame you. :)Preciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071233480999640713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-56528592566163760132008-04-03T10:00:00.000-04:002008-04-03T10:00:00.000-04:00Jason, this is actually one of my favorite pieces ...Jason, this is actually one of my favorite pieces by you. I really felt her aloneness. I loved her sitting in the park with the statue. I really enjoyed this immensely. I liked her. I want to read more about her.Ello - Ellen Ohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311917335471167591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59721649265418512462008-04-03T05:26:00.000-04:002008-04-03T05:26:00.000-04:00Although both the character and her loneliness and...Although both the character and her loneliness and her surroundings were unlikeable for me, it only means that they were so vivid and close to reality I almost felt being there.<BR/>I loved her way of talking to the statue, too!<BR/>Very nicely done.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76935606558332939652008-04-03T01:41:00.000-04:002008-04-03T01:41:00.000-04:00there are times in this life when the world is so ...there are times in this life when the world is so cruel.. that being able to hide under a bronze facade on a public park bench... would be the most absolutely perfect refuge... <BR/><BR/>this was excellently crafted jason....paisleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08231453820728399262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-1928073516819149722008-04-02T23:40:00.000-04:002008-04-02T23:40:00.000-04:00Chris, I wove in some local color in this one.Mila...Chris, I wove in some local color in this one.<BR/><BR/>Miladysa, I had fun with the descriptions of a rainy evening. Glad you enjoyed it. :)<BR/><BR/>JaneyV, the fact of your outrage is a very nice compliment. Thanks! :) The moment must have felt real for you. Creating that sense of real time is such an easy thing to talk about, but a very hard thing to accomplish. Hats off to all writers who stand up and take the challenge.<BR/><BR/>Bernita, I know what your compliments mean. Thank you!<BR/><BR/>Aine, yet, there's hope and resilience. She'll find her way.<BR/><BR/>Jane, the vignette was very much born from the lyrics. I've been listening to that song quite a bit.<BR/><BR/>Geraldine, thanks! I especially like using scene descriptions to move the story emotionally.<BR/><BR/>Niyara, welcome! I love seeing new faces! =) As for my character here, even after it all, she keeps her humor. That's something, at least.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58675915924505492872008-04-02T18:20:00.000-04:002008-04-02T18:20:00.000-04:00was a really good read! she has had a tough day of...was a really good read! she has had a tough day of it hasnt she!Niiyarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08870461723664684885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23373857434222347022008-04-02T11:40:00.000-04:002008-04-02T11:40:00.000-04:00This was a great read Jason. The loneliness, sense...This was a great read Jason. The loneliness, sense of darkness and abandonment comes through, loud and clear. Well done! <BR/><BR/>www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.comGeraldine https://www.blogger.com/profile/07410019941984295767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18565057512031013432008-04-02T10:33:00.000-04:002008-04-02T10:33:00.000-04:00Enjoy how the vignette and lyrics compliment each ...Enjoy how the vignette and lyrics compliment each other. Loved the woman's dialogue with the statue. Peace, JP/debJP (mom)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03120439923927414464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49157973918559099032008-04-02T09:06:00.000-04:002008-04-02T09:06:00.000-04:00This makes me feel so lonely. I'm glad those days...This makes me feel so lonely. I'm glad those days are gone. And, glad I didn't have to go through that stage of life in a city.<BR/><BR/>Once again, great job creating atmosphere!Ainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402176500997528105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-16087005990640053142008-04-02T07:53:00.000-04:002008-04-02T07:53:00.000-04:00Janey picked my favourite lines too.Very NICE, Jas...Janey picked my favourite lines too.<BR/>Very NICE, Jason!Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40164258719405653202008-04-02T06:45:00.000-04:002008-04-02T06:45:00.000-04:00God! Those jerks in the bar were so rude! It's no...God! Those jerks in the bar were so rude! It's not just the misogynistic view of treating any woman alone in a bar as meat - it's the total lack of manners. You painted them so well (I love that you gave them girly Belgium bottles of beer). Froar! They make me mad.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes a girl just needs an apple martini y'know? (In my case it's a jug of frozen margaritas- but I digress!).<BR/><BR/>Great dialogue, characters expertly drawn and beautiful imagery.<BR/>"Outside, the fine rain brushed her face like silk curtains"<BR/>and<BR/>"A tiny taste of summer poked through the wild spring days. She heard it in the thunder ducking down trashy, dark alleys."<BR/><BR/>were my favourite lines. As always it is a great pleasure to visit Clarity of Night.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74473506798686532602008-04-02T06:34:00.000-04:002008-04-02T06:34:00.000-04:00Absolutely awesome!Wonderful imagery, totally took...Absolutely awesome!<BR/><BR/>Wonderful imagery, totally took me on the most amazing ride.<BR/><BR/>Thank you :-DMiladysahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08065128196666157541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45637181978981899092008-04-02T02:54:00.000-04:002008-04-02T02:54:00.000-04:00Very nice.I love the creative twists this story ta...Very nice.<BR/>I love the creative twists this story takes.<BR/>Very good with the dialogue.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.com