tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post4691806508382860867..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #193Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45598057270145854552010-01-19T16:33:36.776-05:002010-01-19T16:33:36.776-05:00Oh God! Like Janey I was all prepared for somethi...Oh God! Like Janey I was all prepared for something romantic and sweet. Instead... yikes! scary and great.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67700004839078275102010-01-17T09:52:27.449-05:002010-01-17T09:52:27.449-05:00You know I almost liked him at the beginning. Tal...You know I almost liked him at the beginning. Talking about the beauty of the surroundings like that, he was quite charming. Then he showed his true character and ... I felt like I needed a shower.<br /><br />You write crazy very well.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-33935881557567684352010-01-16T18:32:17.701-05:002010-01-16T18:32:17.701-05:00Chills. Love the madness. Hate the character. Good...Chills. Love the madness. Hate the character. Good job.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30801673228704722142010-01-16T14:02:29.612-05:002010-01-16T14:02:29.612-05:00Caveat
Something I Would Keep
I, too, set my piece...<br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">Caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />I, too, set my piece in the Bay area, and it was really important for me - so I loved finding a kindred spirit!<br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />This narrator is such a strong, psychotic personality, I would have liked to see more action and less inner dialogue - it would have been interesting to see this person from the outside.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-39720292311418877162010-01-16T11:09:20.535-05:002010-01-16T11:09:20.535-05:00While I like the setup and what has happened, and ...While I like the setup and what has happened, and the shift to blaming the victim, I found this a lot of telling without that much showing.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76145937969411309132010-01-16T10:17:11.627-05:002010-01-16T10:17:11.627-05:00"Stay under your stone," sums up the nar..."Stay under your stone," sums up the narrator's voice, giving the reader a bad taste of evil.James R. Tomlinsonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13642771867137690792010-01-15T16:40:33.782-05:002010-01-15T16:40:33.782-05:00Thet way the MC places the blame on his victims wa...Thet way the MC places the blame on his victims was an effective way of showing just how far gone he is.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344917148662934359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-666478093064435532010-01-14T12:21:42.485-05:002010-01-14T12:21:42.485-05:00LW: What can I say? My fingertips are numb from ty...LW: What can I say? My fingertips are numb from typing...I'm sure there's a few more here and there! Plus I am still adjusting to a three quarter keyboard.<br /><br />U R such a hater. I spell good as anybody their is!Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17938033445806743482010-01-13T18:50:05.982-05:002010-01-13T18:50:05.982-05:00An odd story. Initially soft, yet quickly bludgeon...An odd story. Initially soft, yet quickly bludgeons the reader out of his/her sense of security. Perhaps in the same way the killer chose his victims ends?kashersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-91655283307817137162010-01-13T16:47:23.764-05:002010-01-13T16:47:23.764-05:00very dramatic...
[laurel, check your spelling lat...very dramatic...<br /><br />[laurel, check your spelling lately?]laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-2195368570978127022010-01-13T14:38:18.362-05:002010-01-13T14:38:18.362-05:00I love this piece, very skillfully written, good p...I love this piece, very skillfully written, good pacing, good voice, great finishing sentence.lenahttp://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-20899730450871216742010-01-13T13:50:08.319-05:002010-01-13T13:50:08.319-05:00haww....
that person's crazy. the first parag...haww....<br /><br />that person's crazy. the first paragraph actually deceives you and as you read you realize that something is terribly wrong.<br /><br />Phew!!!<br /><br />Very well written. Liked.Preetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00279859240371070699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67336916954867526492010-01-13T13:29:50.300-05:002010-01-13T13:29:50.300-05:00Nice job of pacing.
And I love the line- "T...Nice job of pacing. <br />And I love the line- "The graveyard is such a wonderful place at twilight."- A great foreshadowing.Deb Smythenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26059771926490112772010-01-13T09:09:01.924-05:002010-01-13T09:09:01.924-05:00Ooops...might disagree about the last line. Not th...Ooops...might disagree about the last line. Not that this was so good! ;)Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-87996988849307322032010-01-13T09:08:16.232-05:002010-01-13T09:08:16.232-05:00The tempo is great, starts slow and picks up throu...The tempo is great, starts slow and picks up through the piece. He seems peaceful and philosophical and then WHAM! You find out he's a homocidal sociopath.<br /><br />I really like this. I did thing the <i>(and a gruesome morning)</i> was almost gratuitous. The last line might be stronger without it, IMHO. I wouldn't mention it except that this is so good...and everybody else might disagree!Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.com