tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post5595768472971527026..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #177Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-85646199965733570942010-01-18T23:35:40.126-05:002010-01-18T23:35:40.126-05:00This held special meaning for me as I just lost a ...This held special meaning for me as I just lost a brother in law to cancer at the end of December. How beautifully sensitive you wrote it. I love the symbolism of the doves.<br /><br />J. RandickAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-42981582886572164172010-01-18T19:46:54.582-05:002010-01-18T19:46:54.582-05:00Somber yet balanced way of telling this kind of st...Somber yet balanced way of telling this kind of story. Well done!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26362981552407240872010-01-18T12:31:53.340-05:002010-01-18T12:31:53.340-05:00A somber, melancholy piece with an uplifting hint ...A somber, melancholy piece with an uplifting hint of what helps us to handle a loved one's death.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-56132493344117163042010-01-18T12:01:47.318-05:002010-01-18T12:01:47.318-05:00The sadness was easily established, but the family...The sadness was easily established, but the family's acknowledgment of the prophetic doves worked well too. Nice.Rabid Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307255127156087170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68594806242403834252010-01-18T06:37:20.432-05:002010-01-18T06:37:20.432-05:00Nice use of the prompt and good showing of family ...Nice use of the prompt and good showing of family relationships.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12003379181294550035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5688946129997330272010-01-17T23:58:18.164-05:002010-01-17T23:58:18.164-05:00Thank you all for your comments. This has been gre...Thank you all for your comments. This has been great fun.<br /><br />I've learned a whole bunch by reading all the entries. Yesterday, when I worked on my first 500 words of my novel to spruce that up for another contest, I noticed I grew up a bit more as a writer.<br /><br />Yeah for contests!Jean Ann Williamsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-20237082443871481362010-01-17T14:11:11.960-05:002010-01-17T14:11:11.960-05:00Oh so sad! :(Oh so sad! :(Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-22671031256019862322010-01-16T20:43:21.773-05:002010-01-16T20:43:21.773-05:00my caveat
Something I Would Keep
the tenderness of...<br><br><a href="http://www.insearchofgiants.com/2010/01/commenting-on-silhouette.html" rel="nofollow">my caveat</a><br><br /><b>Something I Would Keep</b><br><br />the tenderness of the family bonds - so sweet<br /><br /><b>Something I Might Tweak</b><br><br />seems to be limited 3rd-person POV, but I don't learn much about LL from that - either make it fully omniscient or 1st person - I think for such an emotional piece that might pack more punchAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-58448512684814146312010-01-16T19:09:26.923-05:002010-01-16T19:09:26.923-05:00Aw. Sweet, sad. Nice.Aw. Sweet, sad. Nice.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26065023647372098922010-01-16T12:46:44.810-05:002010-01-16T12:46:44.810-05:00Losing a child is a devastating thing for siblings...Losing a child is a devastating thing for siblings and parents alike. It's a comfort to find signs of the passing on of a soul to a better place. <br /><br />I like the measured way you told this. The absence of drama makes it all the more poignant.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76622841733504825842010-01-15T14:44:24.224-05:002010-01-15T14:44:24.224-05:00Very tragic and moving. A child perspective of dea...Very tragic and moving. A child perspective of death is touching and fascinating at the same time.Kartikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01067636999700672077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-36314853503291813052010-01-15T11:06:41.421-05:002010-01-15T11:06:41.421-05:00very moving. I was deeply touched. Excellent des...very moving. I was deeply touched. Excellent description of setting.J. M. Poirothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047291112115641863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44953868557781533472010-01-15T02:23:48.373-05:002010-01-15T02:23:48.373-05:00A child's innocence is truly beautiful and you...A child's innocence is truly beautiful and you've captured that wonderfully. Great job.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344917148662934359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-69651512143122594962010-01-15T01:19:59.307-05:002010-01-15T01:19:59.307-05:00Anyone who spends any real time in the presence of...Anyone who spends any real time in the presence of a hospice nurse will never forget the details of the ending. You've drawn it well. My only confusion was at the beginning, when she met her father at the front door... I thought he was the one coming in, and she was greeting him. After a reread, I figured out it was she who was arriving at the house.<br /><br />I wish everyone the solace of such a symbolic event at the moment of their loved-one's passing.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76882524462367466052010-01-14T20:58:09.619-05:002010-01-14T20:58:09.619-05:00So sad. Beautiful story. I loved the doves. I coul...So sad. Beautiful story. I loved the doves. I could definitely see the white dove leading Joshua's spririt to Paradise.Louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00539086690347476923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53754186498988472912010-01-14T09:42:17.563-05:002010-01-14T09:42:17.563-05:00Sad indeed. But I'm with JR in wondering if a ...Sad indeed. But I'm with JR in wondering if a 1st person or a tighter 3rd POV might have helped the reader really live the emotion.Deb Smythenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-2139940398645979302010-01-13T15:13:50.720-05:002010-01-13T15:13:50.720-05:00A very sad and touching story. Like your use of do...A very sad and touching story. Like your use of doves, it makes the story special.lenahttp://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-57557432416025597132010-01-13T15:01:02.103-05:002010-01-13T15:01:02.103-05:00sad...sad...laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-59428968357272669712010-01-13T15:00:12.341-05:002010-01-13T15:00:12.341-05:00very beautiful expression of a tragic event. left ...very beautiful expression of a tragic event. left me with a lump in my throat. :-(<br /><br />but the doves symbolized hope and heaven and also a sense of liberation. so hmmnn....<br /><br />I liked this. Very much.Preetihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00279859240371070699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40674316549138880942010-01-13T06:42:21.838-05:002010-01-13T06:42:21.838-05:00Beautiful, chills came over me as I read this, and...Beautiful, chills came over me as I read this, and my eyes got all wet at the end. Just lovely.catvibehttp://www.catvibe.net/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-12448512532687610772010-01-13T04:50:31.953-05:002010-01-13T04:50:31.953-05:00Nice use of dove as the traditional symbol of the ...Nice use of dove as the traditional symbol of the soul.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45720032010881297202010-01-13T03:57:55.469-05:002010-01-13T03:57:55.469-05:00Glad to see that the family is holding together in...Glad to see that the family is holding together in tough times. A touching story...Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-40709455763585182112010-01-12T22:39:57.363-05:002010-01-12T22:39:57.363-05:00Very touching story. I wonder if it would've b...Very touching story. I wonder if it would've been better told from the POV of LauraLee as a first person narrative? Just a thought. --JRAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-4567215264670612672010-01-12T21:33:16.293-05:002010-01-12T21:33:16.293-05:00Moving piece that I suspect everyone can empathise...Moving piece that I suspect everyone can empathise with.kashersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-22086369945953637482010-01-12T21:18:09.447-05:002010-01-12T21:18:09.447-05:00Sad and pretty. I hope the omen of the doves comfo...Sad and pretty. I hope the omen of the doves comfort the family.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.com