tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post6223731635756572605..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Forties Club Finalist #17Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14458430392057649692010-08-04T01:08:20.710-04:002010-08-04T01:08:20.710-04:00bekbek, I totally agree with the "faddish pat...bekbek, I totally agree with the "faddish patriotism" idea. At times, a country's flag may be co-opted by one group or the other as a symbol of their particular views. Such jingoism is offensive to me. But there is nothing inherently jingoistic in true patriotism... in a free country.<br /><br />Stephen Hill, thanks for the kudos!<br /><br />Laurel: Yay! It didn't swallow! And any day I get you to say "Holy Hell" is a good day. Paris next year. Bama the year after. OK?<br /><br />AidanF, thank you for calling out a particular item you liked. I appreciate it. And, since I'm actually an engineer by education, I think I'm allowed to admit that I had to look up <i>assonance</i>. Thanks for the kind words!<br /><br />Vincent Kale: You overdo it with the praise, kind sir. I mean, really. I am overcome.<br /><br />C. Sonberg Larson, I will take "brilliant" any time you like to say it. "Powerful" and "impressive' are good, too. Thank you!<br /><br />February Grace: I just dropped by your blog because I love your online name so much. Left a comment. Congrats on your HM! Thank you so much for the kind words!<br /><br />Sandra, dog wagged by tail is definitely an appropriate interpretation. But in our world, the tail has grown pretty darned big. Glad I could strike a chord with someone not into poetry! :-)<br /><br />JRT: Ha! John Wayne reading this? One wonders if he would. Yeah, I'd love to hear that.<br /><br />Kimberly B, "amazing" is a compliment I'll treasure. Thank you for your very kind words!PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-7910992035297567122010-08-02T02:10:39.379-04:002010-08-02T02:10:39.379-04:00Amazing poetry. I love the onomatopoeia and the li...Amazing poetry. I love the onomatopoeia and the likening of fear to winter's cold. It seems to add a hint of hope even before the closing lines of the poem. Very well done.Kimberly B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06915078905615036882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-47900356462494580902010-07-31T23:26:00.240-04:002010-07-31T23:26:00.240-04:00Sounds so very very patriotic. My only regret: Tha...Sounds so very very patriotic. My only regret: That I'll never be able to hear John Wayne reading it.JR's Thumbprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10479324326541901987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34186508528774278532010-07-31T14:11:52.513-04:002010-07-31T14:11:52.513-04:00My first impression of this was of the tail waggin...My first impression of this was of the tail wagging the dog in a frenzy of CNN news reports, and the panic that ensues.<br /><br />The hopeful note at the end was so satisfying!<br /><br />Beautiful, rhythmic prose, my dear Pete. I'm not usually into poetry, but yours strikes a chord.Sandra Cormierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00231342310371529022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76855063478026999972010-07-29T21:19:27.614-04:002010-07-29T21:19:27.614-04:00What more can be said?
It is terrifying and absol...What more can be said?<br /><br />It <i>is terrifying and absolutely magnificent.</i> Words like yours are the reason that making the 'forties' means so much to me. <br /><br />A true honor, to be indexed along words such as these.<br /><br />bruFebruary Gracehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01078037856070486022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90302275143167548812010-07-29T20:05:46.601-04:002010-07-29T20:05:46.601-04:00This is brilliant.
Gripping fear, serpentine polit...This is brilliant.<br />Gripping fear, serpentine politicians (loved the hissing),reflection and finally hope. A powerful and impressive read.C.Sonberg Larsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02836809479485483042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-81934755018936774382010-07-29T18:47:54.942-04:002010-07-29T18:47:54.942-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.C.Sonberg Larsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02836809479485483042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10548976068211002442010-07-29T12:13:51.718-04:002010-07-29T12:13:51.718-04:00I don't have the space here to list everything...I don't have the space here to list everything I loved about this poem, but I'll try!<br /><br />The sound of it is positively lyrical. "As slow as winter," "cabled veins," and "false heat of patriotism" are some of my favorites.<br /><br />The progression of the piece builds like a fire, from icy despair, to warm, false hope, to a true rekindling. Fantastic!<br /><br />Everything for me conjures imagery of forging steel, from dousing in icy water to remove impurities and stoking in the flames to strengthen and give shape. Extract metaphors from that as you will.<br /><br />And you manage to strike a deeply patriotic chord of what it means to be American without resorting to getting religious or political. That in itself is an achievement. <br />Well done!Vincent Kalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04625863843215035035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-11813406160154470772010-07-29T00:23:58.572-04:002010-07-29T00:23:58.572-04:00Nice opening image of winter seeping (nice assonan...Nice opening image of winter seeping (nice assonance in this line). I liked the HISS which nails the poem for me. I liked this.AidanFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876041003278004627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-86248871609020616572010-07-29T00:20:30.503-04:002010-07-29T00:20:30.503-04:00There is some seriously great stuff to love here. ...There is some seriously great stuff to love here. But THIS:<br /><br /><i>Politicians and pundits coiled and bit,<br />Rattling their tails and sabers.<br />Their forked tongues spit venomous words:<br />FascHISSt. SocialHISSt.<br /><br />TerrorHISSt.</i><br /><br />bowled me over. <br /><br />Holy hell, Pete. My favorite so far. Also, can I just say thanks for the spirit of optimism? I'm over hearing about how everything is going to hell in a handbasket.Laurelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06120847492230531939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76853784377339731442010-07-28T23:25:34.697-04:002010-07-28T23:25:34.697-04:00I found myself carried along by your poetry, ensna...I found myself carried along by your poetry, ensnared by the grim but wonderful prose, until the spark of hope that concluded it. Vivid, great. Kudos.Stephen Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10877845819239556828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23878478914874795922010-07-28T22:49:45.524-04:002010-07-28T22:49:45.524-04:00Wow. I'm quite bowled over for this.
I'm ...Wow. I'm quite bowled over for this.<br /><br />I'm with sea minor about the end, just a moment of... discomfort, I guess, because I see the whole red-white-blue thing so horribly co-opted by what my husband calls "faddish patriotism." But then, my heart thumps proudly when I see my maple leaf, so I can understand the love, and I do like that it came around to hope after all.<br /><br />Really, really great and going into my top-contenders list.bekbekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17935766604154823539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30014735718167640152010-07-28T21:22:17.327-04:002010-07-28T21:22:17.327-04:00Dottie, thank you! Grace is always something to s...Dottie, thank you! Grace is always something to strive for, so I'm thrilled with the comment.<br /><br />Michelle, thank you! Powerful is a great compliment, and special thanks for calling out a specific part that worked well for you.<br /><br />McKoala, thanks for saying mine is the best of three. Hmm. Backhanded compliment? Harumph. (OK, ok, since the other two are terrific, I'll take it as a glowing endorsement!)<br /><br />Deb, thanks! Now that's a comment. :-)<br /><br />um... twiddle Sameera: Thank you! Powerful is what I was going for.<br /><br />Whirlochre (does anyone use your full name, or do we all just call you Whirl these days?): I deeply appreciate the kind words. I hold a special awe for your style and creativity.<br /><br />Calamity J: Awwww, shucks! Of course, I often have that effect on women.<br /><br />Joni: Thank you so much, especially for calling out a bit that resonated.<br /><br />All, I deeply appreciate the comments. And if there's anyone out there reading and not commenting: I appreciate you reading.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-67006804257993902822010-07-28T17:07:18.025-04:002010-07-28T17:07:18.025-04:00Powerful!
The hissing really resonating.
Great po...Powerful!<br />The hissing really resonating.<br /><br />Great poetry.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-41624063160128112032010-07-28T13:12:55.349-04:002010-07-28T13:12:55.349-04:00Peter I'm so glad you went with this entry. I...Peter I'm so glad you went with this entry. It proves the power of poetry. From the insidious chill of whispered warmongers who used fear to forward their agenda, to the hope that the decency of the people and the ideals they stand for can overcome that chill, you had me saying "yes! yes! yes!" in a way that raised my husband's eyebrow a tiny bit!<br /><br />Wonderful stuff Peter. Yes indeed!JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49955042953553133312010-07-28T10:35:43.116-04:002010-07-28T10:35:43.116-04:00Rays of hope are best found bursting from verse an...Rays of hope are best found bursting from verse and this is tub-thumping stuff.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8616168060698788892010-07-28T10:17:41.641-04:002010-07-28T10:17:41.641-04:00Powerful poetry!Powerful poetry!Sameera Ansarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05249126041067834608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-76764647186451305152010-07-28T09:05:37.566-04:002010-07-28T09:05:37.566-04:00Wow. Now that's a poem.Wow. Now that's a poem.Deb Smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10990130480508998598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-60622582707758136192010-07-28T05:16:08.774-04:002010-07-28T05:16:08.774-04:00By far my favourite poem entry!By far my favourite poem entry!McKoalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01457446171624585099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31948388783816620452010-07-27T23:09:58.031-04:002010-07-27T23:09:58.031-04:00This is powerful! I LOVE the "cabled veins on...This is powerful! I LOVE the "cabled veins on the blood of..." Really great imagery here interspersed with emotion. :)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63291685185874734542010-07-27T22:30:17.006-04:002010-07-27T22:30:17.006-04:00Hi Peter!
Excellently done, tough subject to tack...Hi Peter!<br /><br />Excellently done, tough subject to tackle, and you do it with such grace.<br /><br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-46894264544727773332010-07-27T22:15:00.239-04:002010-07-27T22:15:00.239-04:00jelismorgan, thank you! The immigrant perspective...jelismorgan, thank you! The immigrant perspective is a powerful one, and I thank you for sharing yours.<br /><br />MIchael, thanks! Words are powerful indeed. That whole "mightier than the sword" thing.<br /><br />Aerin, thanks for your message. Contrary to what people who know me might think, this was not all about Bush and Obama. That plays into it, of course, but my statement isn't really about that.<br /><br />Chris, nice to see you! Haven't heard from you in a long while. Drop us a line some time, eh?<br /><br />sea minor, thank you so much for the comments, both the specifics on the poem itself and the thoughts on the new patriotism. "Yes we can" is on everyone's minds, but I'm thinking more of the role of media and demagoguery in our society today. Hopefully our better selves will in fact prevail.<br /><br />Robin, great to see you again, too! Thanks for your kind words, few though they be. :-)PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32583671998104998692010-07-27T20:17:53.034-04:002010-07-27T20:17:53.034-04:00Beautifully done, Pete!Beautifully done, Pete!Robin B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11471528485010071521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10022279627912014232010-07-25T04:53:52.167-04:002010-07-25T04:53:52.167-04:00The opening line is powerful. From there you have...The opening line is powerful. From there you have lovely runs of sounds, the i's, the p's , the 'ss' etc. All of those things help the reader and mean it would be fantastic read aloud. It has good structure, then, but is also moving forward. Very good. My only reservation is the theme of renewed patriotism - I hope that, if it is indeed born of the 'better selves', it will be of a new breed altogether - more caring and accepting of differnce, less aggressive as you suggest, lest frightened and less inclined to lash out in fear. Fingers crossed and well done.sea minorhttp://nigelpbird.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-21942104977126267142010-07-24T18:27:41.842-04:002010-07-24T18:27:41.842-04:00Bravo, Pete. Captures much of my sentiment as well...Bravo, Pete. Captures much of my sentiment as well, especially the ending.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.com