tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post7489203138228404693..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #16Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-27028012320153973102011-07-28T21:13:22.669-04:002011-07-28T21:13:22.669-04:00I'm super-impressed with the creativity shown ...I'm super-impressed with the creativity shown here. And the writing was sharp and so effective. High marks!<br /><br />A contender. Congrats on Forties Club!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-211417184726579582011-07-23T04:35:57.569-04:002011-07-23T04:35:57.569-04:00Rebecca - as was mentioned before, you have displa...Rebecca - as was mentioned before, you have displayed a real gift here for describing the senses. I am glad that you explained the challenge but I also think this piece stands up without it. I love the premise here. I like the idea of experiencing all that each sense is capable of and letting the sense choose you. Beautiful.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-25326170564567359232011-07-22T22:49:09.496-04:002011-07-22T22:49:09.496-04:00So I take it Rebecca that Sight includes the third...So I take it Rebecca that Sight includes the third-eye and the ability to see into the future? Because I don't understand why the monk would fall forward into blackness unless he was so overwhelmed by what he saw or because he was blinded by the vision. (Did I just say <i>blinded by vision?? ?? </i>). But, I think I just answered my own question re the outcome of the test—FAILED—regardless of what you say. What do you know anyhow? You're just the author.Linda Ryan-Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15164148666810818891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83271442711516523812011-07-22T22:34:33.705-04:002011-07-22T22:34:33.705-04:00I love the world of the Brotherhood that you'v...I love the world of the Brotherhood that you've concocted with this story. You've managed to capture the ethereal otherness of this brotherhood without giving many details and the strong sensualness of each description makes this story provocative.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14170148559429001125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-5647429980206515462011-07-22T22:33:03.320-04:002011-07-22T22:33:03.320-04:00Great sampling of each of the senses, a little smo...Great sampling of each of the senses, a little smorgasbord!Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03115002505324651653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-69564087052167033852011-07-21T08:27:55.877-04:002011-07-21T08:27:55.877-04:00I loved the exquisite sensory details, and the lit...I loved the exquisite sensory details, and the little ambiguity at the end was a great way to finish.<br /><br />It may just be me, but part of me wanted each monolith to demand a different body part - how freaky would it be to have to put your tongue in the stone??Chris Alliniottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04094925215735680849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-83857956790792206532011-07-19T23:08:38.040-04:002011-07-19T23:08:38.040-04:00Bloody hell! I have a number of windows open, and ...Bloody hell! I have a number of windows open, and left Josh's comment in your post! (I'll see if I can remove it).<br /><br />Rebecca... I think this is fantastic. Lovely, lyrical prose and an intriguing concept. I'm hooked.Richard Levangiehttp://richardlevangie.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-54252251045592795552011-07-19T23:01:12.617-04:002011-07-19T23:01:12.617-04:00My first time reading your work, Josh. Color me im...My first time reading your work, Josh. Color me impressed. :-)Richard Levangiehttp://richardlevangie.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-13522799545212700782011-07-19T15:15:23.656-04:002011-07-19T15:15:23.656-04:00I like that this piece is shrouded in a bit of mys...I like that this piece is shrouded in a bit of mystery. Love the incantations. ~Jana A.bluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-72179934727249582722011-07-18T19:05:03.868-04:002011-07-18T19:05:03.868-04:00I don't think he passed! I think the last was ...I don't think he passed! I think the last was too horrendous for him to face. I'm thinking this acolyte's heart was too gentle and sensitive. <br /><br />Take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-42327581490281410562011-07-18T10:25:41.461-04:002011-07-18T10:25:41.461-04:00The blacking out...entrance into the Brotherhood? ...The blacking out...entrance into the Brotherhood? Maybe he passed from one plane to another? Love the visualizations of the senses.<br /><br />Dottie :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08688849410604429533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-6819269004451587452011-07-17T02:45:33.258-04:002011-07-17T02:45:33.258-04:00I wanted to know what his blacking out meant; as i...I wanted to know what his blacking out meant; as it came straight after the image of a baby I wondered if he was being reborn.fairyhedgehoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14141089706966852951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-26165749421684290762011-07-16T23:01:15.461-04:002011-07-16T23:01:15.461-04:00The writing is gorgeous and tight, with every word...The writing is gorgeous and tight, with every word pulling its weight, in concert with every other. I'm not sure if I like it better or less having read your comment explaining the culture. Ending it with the baby born gives it a supreme mysticism that transcends the senses and makes me think of many possibilities for his blacking out. In any case, very well crafted.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89392638590697851032011-07-16T14:36:40.289-04:002011-07-16T14:36:40.289-04:00Loved "The taste of strawberries. Cool water....Loved "The taste of strawberries. Cool water. Blood’s metallic tang."<br /><br />I've never been able to put into words the taste of blood. Its nothing quite like anything, and 'metallic tang' is as close as I've read anyone put it.<br /><br />Liked your take on the prompt too. Its unique.Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53878195647195142802011-07-15T16:57:38.463-04:002011-07-15T16:57:38.463-04:00Not to overburden you with information, but the id...Not to overburden you with information, but the idea was that this is a sensory Brotherhood, and each monk is 'taken' by a particular sense, one of the five. Sight is revered as one of the higher senses in this culture, so this monk would be marked for greatness, having been accepted by Sight.Rebeccanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-4791627784039002102011-07-15T06:55:59.904-04:002011-07-15T06:55:59.904-04:00wow. a surprising take and like others have said b...wow. a surprising take and like others have said before me, this piece does evoke the senses of the reader, too.<br />i wonder if the acolyte passed the test or not... i guess he did not?SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-53297925088614195492011-07-15T02:45:23.629-04:002011-07-15T02:45:23.629-04:00I particularly like the representatives you've...I particularly like the representatives you've selected for each of the senses!Jade L Blackwaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321787298101881675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-50850471490971251932011-07-15T02:17:31.911-04:002011-07-15T02:17:31.911-04:00Loved how you appealed to the senses.Loved how you appealed to the senses.Stephen Parrishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16883165490847664389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-29957403572403188412011-07-15T00:50:17.088-04:002011-07-15T00:50:17.088-04:00Intriguing piece. I liked where this took the read...Intriguing piece. I liked where this took the reader.pegjethttp://pegjet.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-9238320502897471252011-07-14T23:21:09.881-04:002011-07-14T23:21:09.881-04:00Very intriguing. I find myself pulled into this wo...Very intriguing. I find myself pulled into this world, wondering what will happen next. Your imagination is impressive; I urge you to build upon what you've begun.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing!Michele Zugnonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394802719932859470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-65236802713989493262011-07-14T22:49:26.444-04:002011-07-14T22:49:26.444-04:00I enjoy the unique path this took based off the im...I enjoy the unique path this took based off the image, and how it evokes the senses in compelling ways.JRVogthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11501549592361240370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-68971075303037185302011-07-14T22:10:00.509-04:002011-07-14T22:10:00.509-04:00Very intriguing take on the prompt. I really like...Very intriguing take on the prompt. I really liked it.Jonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18109855683749612076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30528072414991024212011-07-14T21:50:15.150-04:002011-07-14T21:50:15.150-04:00So did he achieve full Brotherhood? Was this his t...So did he achieve full Brotherhood? Was this his test? :)Aimee Lainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15201246474625590886noreply@blogger.com