tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post8439250120345314530..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: Entry #11Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-21502407175055806922008-03-04T13:21:00.000-05:002008-03-04T13:21:00.000-05:00You really scared me-- I was actually holding my b...You really scared me-- I was actually holding my breath as Vern traced the tip of his knife across his wrist. But then you mercifully released me, and ended with a lovely bittersweet moment. Your skill succeeded in making me forget I was reading words-- well done!Ainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402176500997528105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-34954116584838209842008-03-04T09:13:00.000-05:002008-03-04T09:13:00.000-05:00Very sweet. It's interesting how we sometimes see...Very sweet. It's interesting how we sometimes seek to incorporate ourselves into another living thing. Someday the tree will die too, but hopefully after the grieving ones are gone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-63611010103435340972008-02-29T22:19:00.000-05:002008-02-29T22:19:00.000-05:00A surprising twist.. I was on edge for that moment...A surprising twist.. I was on edge for that moment I thought he was going to take his own life.Gnewveganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14520769311192292611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-18610904422507716152008-02-29T10:33:00.000-05:002008-02-29T10:33:00.000-05:00Hey DBA - Yes, I got the various reasonings, it wa...Hey DBA - Yes, I got the various reasonings, it was the - oh, sort of logistics. Since he had seemed to already make the decision to let go of her. It was mostly the result of my reading and trying to form coherent comments too late at night (well, late for a mum of toddlers).<BR/><BR/>Rereading this morning, I'm reminded how much I like this ending, very appropriate for a tree which, season to season, <I>lives</I>. Quite nice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-28826211768402992742008-02-29T09:16:00.000-05:002008-02-29T09:16:00.000-05:00I actually was looking at the title in Jason's lis...I actually was looking at the title in Jason's list and NOT looking forward to reading this. I had expected quite a few sentiment-carved trees among the stories, and your title "A love engraved" had me thinking this would be somehow trite and all about youthful passion.<BR/><BR/>Not that there isn't any youthful passion - the first time "he'd whispered 'I love you'" is so full of the vulnerability of emotion and sex, and you handled it just right in my opinion.<BR/><BR/>But it's the way you then grew that emotion into the long love affair of a lifetime, and the loss, and layered meaning of "a love engraved" that really caught me. Engraved on the tree, on the heart, on the life, and on the wrist.<BR/><BR/>Gorgeous. You are among those making my Readers' Choice voting very, very difficult, but also so rewarding. :)bekbekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17935766604154823539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31786419999699547992008-02-29T04:06:00.000-05:002008-02-29T04:06:00.000-05:00Knife across his wrist...a number of reasons I gue...Knife across his wrist...a number of reasons I guess. Inner turmoil in his grief, fantasy and compulsion, acknowledgement of the thin line between life and death, sensing the blades sharpness/bluntness, to make the blade clean...lets not forget this is a man truly lost in the depths of his loss and grief and not sat reading at his computerDBA Lehanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12902739256082564278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-89301811807520837482008-02-28T19:12:00.000-05:002008-02-28T19:12:00.000-05:00Oh hell ignore that comment. I tried acting it ou...Oh hell ignore that comment. I tried acting it out, holding the bag in one hand and the knife in the other, and I understand now. Sorry, sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-389044125817029112008-02-28T19:11:00.000-05:002008-02-28T19:11:00.000-05:00I do like the idea of the story, but I kept wonder...I do like the idea of the story, but I kept wondering why he'd trace the knife across his wrist; it seemed a little artificial, meant only to throw off the reader. It just..otherwise seems like a strange detail. But it's a lovely tribute to a lost love.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-30266023488758749952008-02-26T02:45:00.000-05:002008-02-26T02:45:00.000-05:00Thanks again everyone! The comments and feedback ...Thanks again everyone! The comments and feedback is always good to read!<BR/><BR/>And r2 - I think I might just use that for my bio's in future: "the chubby checker of the written word" :) That really did make me laugh out loud!DBA Lehanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12902739256082564278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-73809788995416532212008-02-25T20:06:00.000-05:002008-02-25T20:06:00.000-05:00Nice work. Beautifully crafted. I'm a big fan of y...Nice work. Beautifully crafted. I'm a big fan of your stories. I stop by your blog every week or so to see what you have written. Like Chubby Checker, you are a master of the twist. I'm always delighted with what I read from you.r2https://www.blogger.com/profile/15050444327059086880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-64391068641815757252008-02-25T11:12:00.000-05:002008-02-25T11:12:00.000-05:00A well written piece. You have crafted a nice stor...A well written piece. You have crafted a nice story... truly thinking the character is about to slit his wrists, then to find he is only releasing the ashes from captivity... and a fond farewell at a favored location. Great writing! Captivating!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55846414298931253162008-02-25T00:03:00.000-05:002008-02-25T00:03:00.000-05:00I'm with pjd. I expect one ending, and am nicely s...I'm with pjd. I expect one ending, and am nicely surprised by something entirely different. Well done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-49959797049988170492008-02-24T16:53:00.000-05:002008-02-24T16:53:00.000-05:00Touching. I thought it was getting predictable, b...Touching. I thought it was getting predictable, but then you twisted it. Good job on the timing.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-46143474807136277502008-02-24T11:16:00.000-05:002008-02-24T11:16:00.000-05:00I like how the emotions are conveyed through actio...I like how the emotions are conveyed through actions, and activities.<BR/>I did expect something else and I liked how it turned out.SzélsőFahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11600289147447182465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-45894434648610354882008-02-24T06:47:00.000-05:002008-02-24T06:47:00.000-05:00A great requiem, which doesn’t get bogged down wit...A great requiem, which doesn’t get bogged down with syrupy sentimentality.<BR/>Another great piece from Mr Lehane!MickyMchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15144123568538569438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71562784029902841152008-02-23T16:41:00.000-05:002008-02-23T16:41:00.000-05:00Well thought out last Valentine.Well thought out last Valentine.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-39276000021237921462008-02-23T16:10:00.000-05:002008-02-23T16:10:00.000-05:00The tree will guard her well... Poignant story, be...The tree will guard her well... Poignant story, beautifully written.Vesperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12417602625059442986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32434764492494941682008-02-23T16:09:00.000-05:002008-02-23T16:09:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Vesperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12417602625059442986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-44201299507503385232008-02-23T15:19:00.000-05:002008-02-23T15:19:00.000-05:00Lovely piece of writing, Lehane - it flows togethe...Lovely piece of writing, Lehane - it flows together so well and has a beautiful poignancy about it - as well as that one moment where the reader is jarred at the appearance of the old knife.<BR/>Very well done.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04871239587214383387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71269484115255019182008-02-23T15:03:00.000-05:002008-02-23T15:03:00.000-05:00Very tender and heart-wrenching piece. I, too, was...Very tender and heart-wrenching piece. I, too, was uplifted by the ending. <BR/><BR/>"A love engraved forever." I really felt this from these two. Wonderful story-telling in such a short frame.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-140374134261670842008-02-23T12:25:00.000-05:002008-02-23T12:25:00.000-05:00Beautifully written, well done!Beautifully written, well done!Geraldine https://www.blogger.com/profile/07410019941984295767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-39862548314012603452008-02-23T08:03:00.000-05:002008-02-23T08:03:00.000-05:00Not a wasted word.Not a wasted word.pattinase (abbott)https://www.blogger.com/profile/02916037185235335846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84288081167909215262008-02-23T03:06:00.000-05:002008-02-23T03:06:00.000-05:00Cool.You really fooled me with his knife and pulsi...Cool.<BR/>You really fooled me with his knife and pulsing arteries.<BR/>That, and the ending makes it a really wonderful story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-90850124778809262882008-02-23T02:54:00.000-05:002008-02-23T02:54:00.000-05:00a beautiful love story that gives me hope, you hav...a beautiful love story that gives me hope, you have a wonderful way with words.<BR/>microabiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-42125798672401332532008-02-22T22:02:00.000-05:002008-02-22T22:02:00.000-05:00Oh, I am glad it did not go the way it appeared to...Oh, I am glad it did not go the way it appeared to be going! Even the title seemed to foreshadow, but a very believable ending. Heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.Missyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16638784910676212171noreply@blogger.com