tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post8464866421008185867..comments2023-09-22T07:03:03.280-04:00Comments on The Clarity of Night: The INTP Experience - Chapter 1: Why Do I Feel Disconnected?Jason Evanshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14851992219298316168noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-27222639065605133162012-08-25T09:29:13.231-04:002012-08-25T09:29:13.231-04:00Anon,
That's what I like hearing more than an...Anon,<br /><br />That's what I like hearing more than any else! I've very glad you feel that way. Stop by any time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-84525124347259813902012-08-21T12:27:13.361-04:002012-08-21T12:27:13.361-04:00Thank you thank you! Not only did this crack me u...Thank you thank you! Not only did this crack me up, it finally made me feel UNDERSTOOD!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10945823199919141122012-08-12T09:28:17.057-04:002012-08-12T09:28:17.057-04:00Crys,
Glad to see INTPs reaching to others! We n...Crys,<br /><br />Glad to see INTPs reaching to others! We need some more community. We need to have each other's backs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-52913159079653909422012-08-09T20:32:12.280-04:002012-08-09T20:32:12.280-04:00Thank you, first of all. I needed to read this. Th...Thank you, first of all. I needed to read this. The past month and a half has been spent reading up about INTP behavior and characteristics so I can discover myself. I'm blogging about my INTP observations and overall philosophies and ideas in my own blog. it feels great to know that I can get insight from somewhere.Cryshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15261126867709873717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-10500149795084142562012-08-07T17:12:52.708-04:002012-08-07T17:12:52.708-04:00Anon,
I totally agree with you that INTPs can der...Anon,<br /><br />I totally agree with you that INTPs can derive great benefit from turning their "figuring it out" toolkit towards themselves and other people. Often, though, INTPs don't consider that possible. People seem illogical and not subject to patterning. But that's false. People are hard to deconstruct, but they are ultimately systems too.<br /><br />Yoga seems like a great way to turn off the thinking/analyzing functions and concentrate on pure sensation. A wonderful exercise for building more awareness of our feeling side.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-3970909481948556452012-08-07T17:08:28.187-04:002012-08-07T17:08:28.187-04:00DR, I definitely think that INTPs need quiet time....DR, I definitely think that INTPs need quiet time. Especially if they spend their day getting drained by interfacing with non-INTP-resonant types. I know I can start to feel cornered and claustrophobic if my tolerance tank runs empty. As for switching jobs and getting bored, yes to that too. Once we figure out something sufficiently, we need to move on. We need the next challenge. If we don't, we'll have no energy except discontent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74419283249831032032012-08-07T12:32:04.892-04:002012-08-07T12:32:04.892-04:00Me again!...the way I see it is there's nothin...Me again!...the way I see it is there's nothing an INTP loves more than a challenge and figuring out how things work. Figuring out how to relate to other people is just one of those challenge I think we need to embrace.<br />And one more thing...one great thing to do to deal with our challenges of being stuck in our heads is to come more into our bodies. In other words, get physical! I do yoga and it's fantastic for my intp mind :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-14319737756151521392012-08-03T20:53:10.887-04:002012-08-03T20:53:10.887-04:00I'm an INTP female. I like the encyclopedia an...I'm an INTP female. I like the encyclopedia analogy--that is totally right! It's difficult to deal with the whole feeling different thing, but its a growth process to adjust to others personalities.<br /><br />By the way--INTPs make GREAT yogis :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-43400161432358725062012-07-15T13:02:59.085-04:002012-07-15T13:02:59.085-04:00Hi, I'm 30yo male INTP, software engineer from...Hi, I'm 30yo male INTP, software engineer from Singapore.<br />Can you share your thoughts on Travel, quiet me-time, procrastination and work/career?<br /><br />I'm not quite sure if I do enjoy travel, since I find the planning and packing a hassle. But I did enjoy the cool weather and open landscapes and hills when I was in Japan (Hokkaido) 2 years ago. I find it really hard to get started on another trip, and even harder to find friends to go along with. Never had a big circle of friends even in school, but working has taken a further toll on the count..<br />Do all INTP get really cranky when they don't get their daily dose of quiet me-time? I find myself really drained at the end of a a work day as the open concept office has too much hustle and bustle. I need a lot of quiet alone time to recharge, there's not enough hours in the evening for me to recharge fully each workday...<br /><br />Is procrastination a individual thing or common in INTPs?<br /><br />Lastly, is it normal to get bored of work after a few years? I would prefer to stay a techie rather than move up to management, are there INTPs who enjoy management instead of the interesting technical problem solving part?<br /><br />Sorry if I sound a little messy, I'm trying to get these questions out of my mind before hitting the sacks. ~DRAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-23686838626744623592012-07-03T08:44:07.702-04:002012-07-03T08:44:07.702-04:00Hannah,
I don't have extensive experience wit...Hannah,<br /><br />I don't have extensive experience with ENTJs, but in my limited experience, I think the rub comes from Te (extraverted thinking) versus Ti (introverted thinking). ENTJs seem to have this powerful drive to order the outside world. However, from my INTP viewpoint, it looks like they want order for order's sake. They seem to lack a compelling reason to create order. They miss the big picture. A little dab here and little dab there in exactly the right places achieves much more than buckets of unnecessary order.<br /><br />You can probably turn the tables on your father-in-law by digging under his obsession with answers now, now, now. It could be his Te function craving order and structure (at the expense of truth). Start pulling him back. Why is an answer now so important? Making mistakes because of insufficient information is wasteful and inefficient. Don't burn energy by chasing your tail. Take the time to be right.<br /><br />As for INTP/ENTJ as couples, I can see each pushing the other, or drawing each other to a central point between Te and Ti. We can benefit from more order (sometimes it really is good, even if it's not completely right), and they can benefit from more observation and analysis to anchor their efforts. We can make a good team. When it's going well, ENTJs can form a deep trust for INTPs and their observations as a check and balance on their efforts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-8592956657060164852012-06-26T14:57:41.357-04:002012-06-26T14:57:41.357-04:00*shudder* I'm married to an INFJ and I'm p...*shudder* I'm married to an INFJ and I'm pretty sure my father-in-law is an ENTJ. Can I just say that ENTJs make me want to crawl into a hole? No offense. They want to know what you think about something, or how you view it, even if you're still gathering information to -form- a belief about a "Truth" as it were, and won't stop badgering you ... I, on the other hand, do not like to share information that I do not feel like I have a full handle on yet, or about which I am still forming a hypothesis, etc... but clamming up makes it seem like I am admitting that he is right when I generally do not agree with him, but also seems to give him the impression that I have nothing logical to back up something I might be thinking. Thus, I dislike interacting with him. I feel cornered.<br /><br />So... I really don't think INTP/ENTJ is "the ideal matched couple." Then again, I am forming a Truth based off of numerous interactions with just -one- ENTJ, as I am just learning how to "type" the people in my life, so... maybe a more experienced INTP can chime in on this one.Hannah Elisehttp://aiketgate.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-20814551567050123562012-06-06T08:00:01.603-04:002012-06-06T08:00:01.603-04:00A Fellow INTP, love the comment about not having t...A Fellow INTP, love the comment about not having to write that chapter of your encyclopedia yourself! Yes, that was my intent. Something to give to you. To lighten the load. There's one section of the book you can just take and fit it into the grand, overall structure.<br /><br />I don't see collecting our pebbles as using people. Honestly, I tend to see it as the opposite. We do all of this mindful work to create these nicely constructed relationships, but it's generally not reciprocated. I don't see any evil intent of the part of others, but I think we're the ones used.<br /><br />I know that child you're talking about. No, I don't think he or she goes away. At least mine has proved resilient. Sometimes I wish he wasn't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-77287311715774845122012-06-06T07:52:52.132-04:002012-06-06T07:52:52.132-04:00Anonymous, very well said. I have theory that eve...Anonymous, very well said. I have theory that everyone's typology is driven by opposites (or avoiding the negative). Perhaps we don't rely on thinking because that's our positive preference. Perhaps we do it because we flee from the negative way we view emotions as an indication of truth. Maybe the idealists rely on feeling because they have difficulty ordering their thoughts and that isn't a nice state to be in. We turn to thinking because we trust it. It feels safe and competent. Emotions...don't. We feel very strongly, but those emotions never sit entirely comfortably. Even the really good ones feel a little scary underneath.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-24078074961725264912012-06-01T20:10:51.963-04:002012-06-01T20:10:51.963-04:00Hi Jason,
I just wanted to say thank you. What y...Hi Jason,<br /><br />I just wanted to say thank you. What you've described has been swimming around in my head for quite some time, and it's nice to have someone articulate it clearly. Saves me the trouble of writing that part of my encyclopedia myself!<br /><br />I've...intuitively, I guess?... implemented your plan of finding pleasure in specific types of interactions with people without ever really defining why I was doing it. I can definitely relate to the sadness that comes with knowing that such interactions, pleasure producing as they are, can never progress further. It makes me think that I'm using people. And, really, I am. But should I feel bad about it? Aren't they using me too?<br /><br />Honestly, the part that gets to me the most is the innate feeling (yes, feeling) that eventually I'm going to come across a person that doesn't just put away their encyclopedia after a month, or a year. Or ever, for that matter. I always have this child-like hope that when I truly connect with someone that THIS is going to be the time. It never is. I know you've stated that you have no grand unifying theory, but perhaps it is something to consider. Does that hope ever go away? And, if it does, is that a good thing?<br /><br />I've never known another INTP in person (not to my knowledge, anyway). And after all this time, I wonder, was I just not paying attention? Was I so zoned out socially that I missed my chance? I hope that it is not so. Alas, I must find my contentment in the very, very few INFJs, INFPs, and ENTPs I know.<br /><br />Huh, I just realized that sounded depressing. It wasn't intended to be so. Seems more like stating fact at this point.<br /><br />Anyhow, well written, Jason.A Fellow INTPnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-62250723327827325722012-05-31T16:25:22.303-04:002012-05-31T16:25:22.303-04:00Just wanted to contribute a few thoughts about the...Just wanted to contribute a few thoughts about the internal emotional world of the INTP as only bourne of my own experience and natrual inclinations. <br /><br />Upon inspection and identification with the Jungian description of INTP, I find that too often we are described as being devoid of emotion or emotionally cold which isn't true in the least bit.<br /><br />I think that emotions of empathy or compassion are (if evoked) easier to sit with as they do not require introspection and are more so the result of external factors. This also stimulates the "cascade of thought" to troubleshoot the problem that caused said trouble for the the one who initiates an empathetic emotional response, so humanitarian fields such as nursing can be suitable as it demands problem solving through empathy. It also demands adequate people skills which is a separate entity I care not delve into here.<br /><br />As for more personal emotional tormoil or what not, I think when younger it was of an ability to not identify with or recognize an emotional response evoked by the external world, so the idea of this "function" being "underdeveloped" perfectly describes this. The lack of emotional maintenance over time will take it's toll, I suppose, and will surface eventually most likely during major life transitions that force one to be introspective. Probably introspection is also underdeveloped as these relms are filled with thought. This also makes it difficult to identify what it is you are "feeling" firstly, which, then incampacitates expression. I think sometimes our feelings are somewhat like inanimate objects that sort of creates an essence that is very hard to identify. The inability to explain this to others is like feeling trapped inside your head with no way to escape. Perhaps writing is a way to personify these inanimate objects as the use of metaphor can express that which you cannot logically discern and certainly cannot explain.<br /><br />Meanwhile, during the process of "feeling" especially if it becomes taxing or draining to do so, the most natural way to "deal" is the same mechanism as removed emotions; troubleshooting. This can become a dire quest, for in order to solve the problem, you must first identify why you are in said emotional state. If you never once were very introspective, and years later experience some sort of crisis, you are forced to sift through the years and psychoanalyze...yourself, comparative to a chicken running in circles with it's head cut off. Literally, when the head is cut off the whole system wobbles in some disorderly, chaotic fashion because you are left with these emotions to have to identify and then solve, because I do believe that emotions can properly be solved.<br /><br />This is long, sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-74100033889040832752012-05-30T19:08:58.234-04:002012-05-30T19:08:58.234-04:00Anon #2, you're certainly welcome to explore t...Anon #2, you're certainly welcome to explore the creative anchor of this blog, but it's not required! I'm just happy that you landed here at all. Welcome!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-31648800855292733792012-05-30T19:07:49.341-04:002012-05-30T19:07:49.341-04:00The Generalist, one of the things that has struck ...The Generalist, one of the things that has struck me is how resonant I feel with all the INTP commenters. I didn't flinch at all with your shift to a more condensed style. I get it! As for being the entertainment, I do agree that the dead-end road of being the entertainment is pretty grinding.<br /><br />Anon #1, first, that's very gratifying to hear that you felt understood here more than usual. If nothing else is gained, that's a major accomplishment on both sides.<br /><br />I would argue that understanding our own motivations, and those of others, is a huge hurdle to overcome. It's worth more than 10%. I've found that it's rarely attempted or successfully done by other types. Which leads me to my ultimate take on your points. On the one hand, I agree with them completely. Once we have the information, we need to execute. Over and over. But that's a one-sided equation. Where is the reciprocation? We can't be the paternal/maternal ones solely responsible for making relationships work. That's where the long grind can get very long indeed. In my second article on overload (and my soon to be completed third on relationships), I freely admit that I don't have the grand unifying theory on how to be happy as an INTP. I do have some imperfect improvements to suggest. Those will increase happiness, yes. But will we achieve the nirvana we're unconsciously driven to achieve? I honestly don't know. We might be too alone for that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-71204567372471634912012-05-30T10:45:47.768-04:002012-05-30T10:45:47.768-04:00To be fair: I haven't read your blog - I got t...To be fair: I haven't read your blog - I got to this article from a link. I look forward to reading more of your insights, and realized that you may well have addressed my thoughts in other writings!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-27426713126246828052012-05-30T10:29:37.051-04:002012-05-30T10:29:37.051-04:0041-year-old female. As I read this, I felt complet...41-year-old female. As I read this, I felt completely, utterly understood. Other INTP descriptions haven't quite matched up, yet you described me to a T. And so when you turned to other people and relationships, I waited for the inevitable conclusion (which I have come to as I aged)... and waited... and then the article ended!<br /><br />Here is my inevitable conclusion: what makes other people feel good ends up being the same thing that makes us feel good: positive attention. We all want someone paying attention to what we like, and then GIVING it to us. Two things in particular make us fail at relationships: 1. We enjoy a really different type of attention from what other people enjoy, so we often fail disastrously at figuring out what motivates them (this is where your article seems to be going at the end). Similarly, they usually fail at pleasing us. 2. Many of us are so completely self-centered, even if we do figure out what people want, we forget to DO it. As a result, many people don't like us and don't bother doing what we want. <br /><br />Everything in this article is about me: how I think, what I want, what helps me to do this weird thing called "feeling." That's a pretty self-centered approach (and maybe why the article resonates so well). Through introspection, I know a lot about myself, and have identified a lot of patterns about myself; therefore, I am one of the most interesting things in the world! If your desired outcome is to "understand what the actions of other people mean and how to predict them" (i.e. make them more interesting to you), then that's only the first 10% of the story. We can't stop with "oh! now I understand why he wants that silly thing!" We have to take the next step and actually GIVE them the silly thing. Over and over, despite being bored with it. We have to sacrifice our own desire to do what makes us feel good (think, understand, find new stuff to understand), and take a moment to do something that makes someone else feel good.<br /><br />This can be boring and tedious (especially if there's no sexual motivation). But it leads not only to being able to keep people around long enough to understand them, but also to some weird other feelings, like connectedness and mutual caring. Weird, pleasurable, and... interesting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-55095192702594477972012-05-27T23:04:41.163-04:002012-05-27T23:04:41.163-04:00Also, what you said about compiling a sort of ency...Also, what you said about compiling a sort of encyclopedia and the desire to collaborate with others resonated strong for me as well. While my life has so far been relatively uneventful and painless, I have a pretty good idea of what are good and bad ideas. It's like I gain experience vicariously (such-and-such a course of action, inasmuch as I have observed it, never works, and I shall therefore avoid it). Certainly saves a lot of trouble, not having to experience everything firsthand myself.The Generalisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00016065259824344918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-32767372806400721062012-05-25T15:42:16.148-04:002012-05-25T15:42:16.148-04:00I, too, am an INTP (although I am becoming increas...I, too, am an INTP (although I am becoming increasingly bored with Myers-Briggs). Even the style of writing here resonated with me more than usual. <br /><br />You hit the nail square on the head here, especially with regard to getting a hunch that we are sometimes used as entertainment. Very frustrating. Want to flip tables.<br /><br />Good to get a sense of comradery. Looking forward to future posts.<br /><br />Hmm. It seems that halfway through my post, I switched to a more condensed manner of speaking. Then reverted back to right last blerb. Then flopped again to comment on reversal.The Generalisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00016065259824344918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-48136522391999003052012-05-21T18:25:08.390-04:002012-05-21T18:25:08.390-04:00Anon and Joel, I think I responded to your comment...Anon and Joel, I think I responded to your comments in my later post. If not, my apologies! BTW, Joel, I think INTP males are easier on women because there are other ways they want to be around them. It's easier to form friendships, because there is a different dynamic and different expection. Also, rationals are drawn to feeling types. Problems grow over the long term, however. We still ultimate yearn for a mindmate.<br /><br />Anon, I think that's what I've turned my energy to. Instead of seeing humans and the world as two separate sets of problems, I've turned my mental processes to deconstructing myself and others. The articles reflect some of that process.<br /><br />x01660, you're very welcome. :) I too wish that there weren't so many stark differences between people. I guess that's what makes it interesting, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-46838562617025909102012-05-16T23:57:39.309-04:002012-05-16T23:57:39.309-04:00As a 23 year old INTP facing most of these issues,...As a 23 year old INTP facing most of these issues, I want to give you my sincere thanks for publishing this in a way that us INTPs get. I'll be taking pointers from this, and hopefully be able to interact a little more proficiently with the entity known as "people". :)x01660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-17188609020119782692012-05-15T23:22:00.155-04:002012-05-15T23:22:00.155-04:00You, author, really did a nice job getting through...You, author, really did a nice job getting through some things we know and then a unique thought -- possibly even a solution regarding relationships that I was slowly coming to (I'm 40 now), but you articulated.<br /><br />We spend so much time avoiding, , trying to extract and ignore those pesty emotions. If we instead focused on using our problem-solving skills to predict and rationalize the emotions of others, we'd find them less challenging and disconcerting. <br /><br />It helped to learn that my ESFP boyfriend has no hope of ever understanding me, so it's up to me to figure out his emotions and maximise them.<br /><br />That's what I got from it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15498010.post-92011078401158767702012-03-27T01:38:40.247-04:002012-03-27T01:38:40.247-04:00Thanks so much for this post! I'm a 20 year ol...Thanks so much for this post! I'm a 20 year old INTP male and I really can identify with the disconnect when making friends. Started a new job recently and making friends there was EXACTLY like how you described about the encyclopedia sharing.<br /><br />Btw is it an INTP thing to prefer making friends with a specific gender? I find I make friends with females a whole lot easier (unless the guys are geeky and I can connect with them on an intellectual/geeky level). Or is it just an INTP guy thing like my ego prevents me from acknowledging to other guys that I don't know everything (i.e. my encyclopedia is not complete yet and I need them to fill in some of the blanks)?joelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14209555902359754685noreply@blogger.com