Footprints
by Jerilyn Dufresne
George hitched his hips to a more comfortable position, and put his hands behind his head as he lay in the tall grass. “Did you ever notice,” he said to his brother Denny, “that we never get clouds that look like cute little animals, or damn cartoon characters.”
“Quit cussing,” ordered Denny. “You know God hears you, and you’ll make Jesus cry.”
“Anyway, look. See those two dark clouds up and to the right from the sun?” He felt rather than saw Denny’s nod. “They look like footprints—malevolent, and scary as hell.”
“Quit using big words unless you’re going to tell me what they mean.”
George loved showing off his knowledge to his younger brother. “Malevolent is from the Latin. ‘Mal-lay,’” he exaggerated the Latin pronunciation, “means ‘evil’ and ‘volo’ means wish. So ‘malevolent’ means someone that means you harm.”
“So the devil is malevolent?” Denny asked.
“Yep, I guess.”
“Well, if those footprints are malevolent, and the devil is malevolent, then those must be the devil’s footprints.”
As gifted as George was, he hadn’t yet taken logic, so didn’t know how to refute his brother’s reasoning.
“Could be, I guess,” George hedged.
Denny continued, “And those white clouds kind of look like when the pond is full of ice, but it’s not quite frozen all the way.”
“Yeah, and…”
Denny sat up. “This is history, George. You and me. We’re witnessing hell freezing over right in front of our very eyes.”
“Damn!” said George.
“Yep,” Denny replied.
[Jerilyn Dufresne doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up. Currently she does disaster mental health work, performs comedy, and writes.]
I like the light, comedic feel to this one. Which of the two is smarter? ;-)
ReplyDeleteAre we all running out to look at the sky?
ReplyDeleteFunny and informative. Crisp and entertaining.
ReplyDeleteLight-hearted! I like it!
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone, for your kind comments. Jer
ReplyDeleteOh, this is great. It was like I was sitting out on the grass with the brothers...You made it come to life with your dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI loved this story! Perhaps it will even happen one day. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThis story almost makes me wish that I wasn't an only child. Great brother to brother dialog, and a nice overall story.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lawson, Bonnie, and Robert. Maybe the sibling dialogue rang true because I'm the oldest of nine kids. :)
ReplyDeleteheeeh! loved it, jer!
ReplyDeletei read it again, and i'm still smiling.
nice pace and balance. good job!!
Thanks so much, anne. Those words mean a lot to me, especially coming from you.
ReplyDeleteJer I really like it. The only think that was distracting was I imagined them being less than twelve and wondered how a kid that age could translate the Latin origins of malevolent. I mean I could do it at that age but...
ReplyDeleteGreat job@
I could too.
ReplyDeleteAnd I pictured these kids a long time ago, like in the 1950s or so. That's why I put in the piece about making Jesus cry, because I haven't heard that since I was a little kid in the well... 50s. :)
Love the banter and the conclusion the boys come to. I couldn't translate any latin origins at age twelve, nor do I think I could now. You've got me beat. Great story.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Joni. The only reason I knew a little Latin was that, even though I couldn't be an "altar boy" in those days, I helped train them. And I wanted to know what we were saying, so I did a little studying.
ReplyDeleteGreat creativity Jer! Loved the story...you are an awesome work of our Lord and Savior! Have a great day and keep those imaginative juices flowing...
ReplyDeleteCute and clever.
ReplyDeleteMade me smile.
Thanks, Deb and Bernita.
ReplyDeleteVery cute! Loved this one!! Wonderfully imaginative!
ReplyDeleteAppreciate the comment, Lisa.
ReplyDeleteJer,
ReplyDeleteI didn't know to scroll down so I could leave a comment before.
Funny thing, when I read it the first time, my glasses were foggy I guess. I wondered why George "bitched his hips"
Two brothers with a special relationship. Very cool says pheebs.
Thanks, Pheebs. Good to see you here. "Bitched his hips" indeed. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry, I didn't finish my comment.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story.
I liked the part "we never get clouds that look like cute little animals." That is why I said: Are we all running out to look at the sky.
I really need to read what I write.
Quite all right, Linda. I thought it was a cute comment on its own.
ReplyDeleteWhat a take on the image. You sure know how to tell an entertaining tale, Jer. What a pleasure it was reading this!
ReplyDeleteYou learn a lot about a person by reading their blog.
ReplyDeleteYour life and your writing appear to be interwoven.
Great story. Lighthearted but a lot of meaning. I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you, Bhaswati and Bofire. Your comments made my day.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of humor is right up my alley. Thanks for bringing me a smile.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure, Nicholas. Glad you enjoyed it. Jer
ReplyDeleteAwesome dialogue, Jer! Good job!
ReplyDeleteOne of the neatest little comedies I've read in a long time.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Kelly and Wanderer. Am going down the list reading everyone else's and I've noticed a few other comedic turns. Love it. But I do think I'm the only one who turned the moon into a sun. Duh! What was I thinking? Guess I'll pretend I did it on purpose. Yeah, works for me.
ReplyDeleteOh I so love the last lines! :)
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this Jer. Loved the light heartedness of it. Thanks for the story.
ReplyDeleteBD
Thanks, Anne and BD. Don't you just love Jason's contests?
ReplyDeleteJer, just fantastic.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic piece of comedic logic - hell freezing over. Just great. After reading several dark stories on here this one, which sounded like it would be dark, really lit up my evening.
Thank you.
My pleasure, Amin. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteLoved the end. Damn is right! It's not every day you get to see hell freezing over. High marks for pacing and technical use of language.
ReplyDelete