Stomach Pains
by Liza Ziadeh
Jim lowered the rear view mirror and looked at his baby brother, Bob, laying in the backseat of the car, grunting and groaning. “I told you that you shouldn’t have eaten that hamburger. It smelled like crap.” He grinned.
“Shut up!” Bob roared painfully. “Keep your eyes on the road, and get me home.”
Jim shook his head. “See those black clouds and moon in the sky. Those clouds are the foul hamburger in your stomach, and the moon is what your anus is going to look like once the runs start.”
Suddenly, there was a bad smell in the car.
Jim smiled, and patiently rolled down the window.
...and looked at his baby brother...
ReplyDeleteThis line interrupted the flow for me for a moment because I pictured two small children. Also, for two such juvenile personalities, the analogy seemed very out of place.
Wow, I didn't expect the word anus anywhere in this contest. I almost spit out my drink at this one. But I liked it.
ReplyDeleteOh Liza - You had to play into my embarrassing love for potty humor. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeletepeeuewww
ReplyDeleteI can smell baby brother all the
way up here in Canada
great fun! good start to my day
New twist to family dynamics! ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. I needed it. Jer
ReplyDeleteHOLY CRAP! Short, but colorful.
ReplyDeleteOh me oh my! I assume that the car belongs to the younger brother, not Jim?
ReplyDeleteholy crap is right! :D
ReplyDeleteReally a hoot!
ReplyDeleteMy "baby" brother is 40 something.I think Bonnie is right. This was a very "vivid", detailed descriptive picture of the moon I laughed and thenk I laughed again.
ReplyDeleteSo much said in so few words.
ReplyDeleteNice little scatological tale there. :P
ReplyDeleteLiza, I love the amount of torment the older brother tries to inflict on the younger one. So true to life, if my family are anything to go by.
ReplyDeleteAnd the anus and runs thing: very descriptive, even if a little cringeworthy!
I don't have a baby brother but if I did, I'm quite sure Bob would be him.
ReplyDelete