Sunday, July 17, 2011

Entry #55

Samsara
by C. Sonberg Larson


Crying, mother young.

See eyes, watery and blue, skin wet, soul ancient.

Breathing.

Birthing another.

Light blinding. Sterile, white room.

Cold air.

Screaming. Intense pain. Wailing. Pushing.

Rushing blood, warm, out held hand.

Red appears, light filters, skin and womb.

Here, I am, wondering, waiting. Vulnerable and hairless. Dependent.

Lives past, toiling and suffering, mistakes noted.

Repeating life. Again chosen.

Gone are months of warmth and safety.

Awaiting birth.

Miracle or retribution?

Unfair, so unfair.

Retribution or miracle?

Birth awaiting.

Safety and warmth of months are gone.

Chosen again. Life repeating.

Noted mistakes, suffering and toiling, past lives.

Dependent. Hairless and vulnerable, waiting, wondering, am I here.

Womb and skin filters light, appears red.

Hand held out. Warm, blood rushing.

Pushing. Wailing. Pain intense. Screaming.

Air cold.

Room, white, sterile. Blinding light.

Another birthing.

Breathing.

Ancient soul, wet skin, blue and watery eyes see

young mother, crying.


(Please note that this poem is a palindrome—it reads the same forward and backward.)
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39 comments:

  1. PrecieJuly 17, 2011 9:50 PM

    Holy frijoles. I wouldn't have realized it's a palindrome, but now that I see it, I bow at your feet.

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  2. CatrinaJuly 17, 2011 10:10 PM

    That was cool. And I thought pantoums were tough!

    Just wow.

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  3. AnonymousJuly 17, 2011 10:48 PM

    I think I would have realized it, but I bow at your feet with Precie nonetheless.

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  4. Catherine VibertJuly 17, 2011 11:06 PM

    I figured out that it was a palindrome at the last line. I am in total awe, this is amazing and it totally works. The structure itself also happens to make a pretty cool shape poem.

    The name Samsara is perfect as metaphor of reincarnation is clear in the structure and repetition, implied spirals and circles. Just awesome.

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  5. ChocoJuly 18, 2011 12:17 AM

    Whoa.. I am so awed!

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  6. yaminiJuly 18, 2011 6:32 AM

    Wow...this was really amazing.. :) salute!

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  7. AnonymousJuly 18, 2011 12:03 PM

    Okay, the imagery here would have been more than enough to stand on its own, but a palindrome to boot??? HOW??? :)

    In other words, incredible.

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  8. MG AinsworthJuly 18, 2011 1:24 PM

    clever!

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  9. AnonymousJuly 18, 2011 1:36 PM

    Aww, I wish I'd said what j a said.

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  10. Aimee LaineJuly 18, 2011 1:38 PM

    I love palindromes! Brave for putting a whole poem to it! :)

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  11. C. Sonberg LarsonJuly 18, 2011 4:17 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. C. Sonberg LarsonJuly 18, 2011 4:26 PM

    Precie, Catrina, Aerin, Catvibe, Choco, Yamini, JA, M.G., and Aimee, thank you for the very kind words.

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  13. Michael MorseJuly 18, 2011 7:40 PM

    Just to prove I'm an idiot I decided to spend seventeen hours composing my own palindrome.

    Awesome that was. Was that awesome!

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  14. Phil WJuly 18, 2011 11:43 PM

    Good job. The palindrome curve in the middle caught me by surprise. Did you follow a meter of any kind?

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  15. Katherine TomlinsonJuly 19, 2011 12:06 AM

    I add my awe at your awesomeness. Talk about your fearful symmetry.

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  16. fairyhedgehogJuly 19, 2011 4:18 AM

    That's amazing, a palindrome that length! Kudos!

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  17. UnknownJuly 19, 2011 1:52 PM

    Nicely done, haven't seen a palindrome in the comps before! Rebirth or retribution, excellent.

    Dottie :)

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  18. bluesugarpoetJuly 19, 2011 6:00 PM

    Amazing! And here I was just thinking it was the "circle of life". :) Jana A.

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  19. wrath999July 19, 2011 8:23 PM

    great job !!!

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  20. C. Sonberg LarsonJuly 20, 2011 2:29 AM

    Thanks everyone for the words of support. I am truly humbled by your comments.

    Michael Morse, you cracked me up! Thanks for the compliment.

    Phil W, Thank you. To answer your question, nope, I didn't follow a meter of any kind.

    Katherine Tomlinson, Compliments don't get much better than that. Thanks very much. I am very humbled.

    Fairyhedgehog (love your name). Thank you for the kudos!

    Dottie, Thanks. I'm honored to be the first palindrome entry.

    Bluesugarpoet (Jana). Thanks very much. I really appreciate your kind words.

    Wrath999, Thank you very much!

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  21. PJDJuly 20, 2011 2:40 AM

    Being a lover of wordplay, I saw the palindrome right at the midpoint, where the mirror sits. And I love how it unwinds in a sort of reverse-forward, not undoing what was made but making a new thing in its motion. Very, very clever indeed.

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  22. Old KittyJuly 20, 2011 6:07 PM

    Oh wow. I'm in awe - it's got such soul and emotion and is also really clever!! Thanks for sharing, take care
    x

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  23. C. Sonberg LarsonJuly 21, 2011 2:56 AM

    Thanks, Peter. I love wordplay as well. Your compliments are much appreciated and very humbling.

    Old Kitty, Thanks so much. It means a lot to read a review like this from another writer.

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  24. Michele ZugnoniJuly 21, 2011 3:14 AM

    Very, very nice. This reminds me of the song "Lightning Crashes" by Live. The perfect subject for a palindrome, and masterfully executed.

    Thank you for sharing!

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  25. Jade L BlackwaterJuly 21, 2011 2:45 PM

    What I like most about this piece is the heartbeat quality of the lines!

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  26. Richard LevangieJuly 22, 2011 12:08 AM

    I just enjoyed the flow and rhythm. It's lovely.

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  27. C. Sonberg LarsonJuly 22, 2011 1:26 AM

    Yes, Mikki, I can see why that song would come to mind. Thanks very much!

    Thanks Jade, I appreciate the kind words.

    Richard, The flow and rhythm were important to me. Thanks for the compliment.

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  28. Bruce RoushJuly 22, 2011 8:57 AM

    Terrific poem. Blown away by the creativity that made it a palindrome.

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  29. UnknownJuly 23, 2011 7:44 PM

    Cleverly constructed. I like the sense of reincarnation embedded in this poem.

    P.S. My word verification "secret".

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  30. C. Sonberg LarsonJuly 24, 2011 11:49 PM

    Bruce, thank you for the kind words.


    Aiden, thanks for the compliment! "Secret"---cool!

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  31. Aniket ThakkarJuly 25, 2011 1:34 PM

    Am I allowed to curse? I so want to use the curse words right now. In a good way of course. This is so effin' awesome! How did you ever manage to pull it off?

    I feel proud if everything just fits into a structure. If it follows any sort of rhythm, I sing and dance at my happy song. But you, you do all that and put it in a palindrome. I used to hate overachievers in school, but here, I'm just awed by your prowess. Hailing frequencies open!

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  32. JaneyVJuly 25, 2011 4:32 PM

    There's a lot of awe being expressed here and with good reason. I love the idea of birth and rebirth and using the device of a palindrome was both effective and really quite brilliant. Kudos.

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  33. C. Sonberg LarsonJuly 26, 2011 1:39 PM

    Aniket, I can't tell you how flattered I am to read such a wonderful review. Thank you very much. It is such an honor to be in the midst of such amazing talent. When I read that authors appreciate my work I am speechless and humbled.


    Janey V, It doesn't get better than "brilliant". Thank you very much for the kudos. It really means a lot to receive positive feedback from other writers.

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  34. L.A SpeedwingJuly 28, 2011 10:11 AM

    When talent is there, it is there. And you have it.

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  35. Tricia J. O'BrienJuly 30, 2011 4:32 PM

    Not only clever but meaningful. Excellent!

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  36. Maria Cisneros Toth BlogJuly 30, 2011 5:02 PM

    Absoluely amazing, Cindy! :-)

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  37. Hobo AnnieJuly 30, 2011 7:57 PM

    Dude, you rock, you dude!(Sorry, I couldn't resist. Think I'd better stick to haiku.)
    But seriously,this is wonderful. I second what everyone else has so eloquently said.

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  38. Carol J. AmatoJuly 30, 2011 11:25 PM

    This is SO COOL, Cindy! What an accomplishment! Unreal!

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  39. AnonymousJuly 31, 2011 11:07 AM

    Love how the flip of the palindrome is the flip of POV. I've never attempted such a thing, but it must be very hard. Damn fine job!

    Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!

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