Sunday, July 17, 2011

Entry #57

Sanziene
by Bruce Roush


He pulled his caravan onto the beach, joining the others. Bonfires were blazing as he started his own. Not yet dark, the sun was sinking toward the water. Flaming torches carried by unseen hands added light in the woods. All were waiting for the moment when the natural elements of earth, air, fire, and water were balanced, allowing those on the other side to visit.

He had been coming to the celebration of the solstice for years. Each time at sunset, she would reappear, only to leave at sunrise, being called back to the other world. While he had visibly aged, she always looked as she did when illness tore her from his arms.

The setting sun burned red across the water. Women dressed in white appeared from the shadows, tossing showers of yellow flowers, each flower turning into a fairy as it touched the water. Two fairies soared high into the sky and took the shapes of doves. Their beaks grasped the air, pulling it open like a celestial curtain. The circular door to the other world was revealed, golden light pouring from it.

A voice called, "Django, Django my love, I'm here." Looking up into the light, he saw her smiling that captivating smile. "It's time, Django, you're to come back with me."

The faithful vigil was over. He reached toward her, his hand and arm silhouetted against the fiery red reflecting water. Together they merged into the golden light.

18 comments:

  1. This has a transparent clarity.

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  2. Hi Bruce,

    Great to see you here.
    You've used everything the prompt had to offer and translated it into a very good read.

    I also wonder at the fact that this same piece would have worked as an entry to Silhouette and Ascension(past contests here) as well.

    Thank you for sharing.

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  3. Ditto to everything Aniket said. I can see this being perfect for past contests, too.

    But we're talking about Elemental here - and it works beautiful for this prompt. I didn't have the photo before me while reading but it kept flashing before my eyes the more I read. You've come up with a wonderful, touching, sentimental story, Bruce. Hats off to you for this one!

    p.s. I loved the image of the doves opening the celestial curtain with their beaks.

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  4. This is so heartbreaking and lovely. Thanks for the wonderful read.

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  5. Together they merged into the golden light.
    My favorite line. :)

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  6. This is a great story. After so long, together at last. Good storytelling.

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  7. That was sad and touching and delightful all at once!

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  8. Together again after years of separation. Sweet tale.

    Dottie :)

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  9. Awww - beautiful love story! Very romantic! Take care
    x

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  10. I love that they flew off together into the light. :) ~Jana

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  11. Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing.

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  12. Bittersweet and poignant.

    I might tighten a few phrases to make them more direct, but this is a lovely take on the prompt.

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  13. My most sincere thanks to all who took the time to read my first entry in a Clarity of Night contest. I very much appreciate your comments. Bruce.

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  14. What a beautiful story. I am a sucker for a happy ending. It was very poignant.

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  15. Bruce - this is beautiful. I love that his patient vigil was rewarded with the reunion. The romantic in me is very grateful to you for that.

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  16. That was seriously sweet. I imagine he was waiting for a long time. I especially liked the pacing.

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