The Fire Blessing
by Aerin Rose
Shadows of the fire wards shimmered gold and crimson in the flames of Lillith’s hair. Firebird, salamander, dragon - we’d bonded during the infinite expanses of time I’d spent tangled in bed with Lillith. Now they peered out, one by one, in silent goodbyes. I avoided looking at her as I worked my earthen features into the shapes Yahweh suggested.
"I guess it could have been Undine.” Lillith’s voice was lukewarm.
“The water elemental as mother of humanity?”
“I guess not. Nor Sylph, either.”
“We’ve been through this, Lil. I’m going. Help me with my torso.”
She slid her hands beneath my arms and lifted. Although I’d melted into her heat countless times, that lava skin now felt acidic against mine. As my waist lengthened, ribs grew to support my new frame.
“You shouldn’t have to change for this animal.”
“Adam. His name is Adam. What do you want me to do? Who should go instead?”
The words kindled between us; we both knew Yahweh had asked for the fire elemental. For her. She was the first to turn away.
“I’ve already received the blessings of air and water,” I said. “Now the fire blessing.”
The incandescent salamander appeared in a burst of sparks on my hand. His bright tail gripped as he bit my finger, flint to touchstone, fire scorching my blood.
“I will always love you.” I raised my eyes to hers a final time. “But I can’t forgive you.”
My lover whispered, “Eve,” and I was gone.
(Aerin Rose: With thanks to Fritz.)
Dammit, I knew you would throw together something magnificent. Sensual and mythical and yet concrete. Off to update my list of favs.
ReplyDeleteCreating creation in 250 words. This is why I look forward to this contest, inspiration delivered, thank you Aerin.
ReplyDeleteUm, can I say holy crap without sounding like an idiot??
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing. I reread it three times, not to understand but to savor. This one is for savoring.
Nice job, Aerin. Succinct, loaded with meaning, and subtle. I love subtle.
ReplyDeleteWonderful. This gave me chills.
ReplyDeleteThe dialogue is just beautiful. Heartrendingly beautiful.
Wonderful imagery. You've accomplished so much in so few words. Impressive. The last line gives that "whoa" effect that keeps the reader thinking afterward. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery. Very nice work. My entry feels like an insignifant fart joke compared to this.
ReplyDeleteWell done.
Very interesting creation story for Eve. Very unique. :)
ReplyDeleteAerin, you have a gift. :)
ReplyDeleteLove the voice, the relationship, the way so much is left unsaid.
Never would have thought of approaching it this way. Go, you!!
Thank you, everyone. I had fun doing this one.
ReplyDeleteRAINE! Darling, I never realize how much I miss you until I see you here!! Thank you SO much for reading!
The Association of Gay and Lesbian might raise hell with your story which is a same sex version of the original love triangle: a man, a woman, and an apple—the snake in the grass was only secondary. And I don't want to even think how the Evangelical Christian community might respond and thus I give you high marks for not pandering to special interest groups.
ReplyDeleteLovely sensual, magical prose. I very much enjoyed this story.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to mark a permanent spot for yourself in the top 5 aren't you? I can picture you imitating Sheldon - That's my spot.
ReplyDeleteHow can I not love everything you do, but this I'd love even if I wasn't under your spell. "She slid her hands beneath my arms and lifted. " is just a simple line to read. But the way you had captured me, I could see it all happening Awesome piece from awesome, you.
Aerin, so beautiful.
ReplyDeletewow, this is myth in creation. great job.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is, I wish I could write as good as this, Aerin.
ReplyDeleteYou put so much into 250 words - like magic!
A beautiful, sensual story.
I particularly like the incandescent salamander. Good piece.
ReplyDeleteThe champs are back in biznezz!! :D
ReplyDeleteIts so much fun watching amazing writers like you craft beautiful pieces like these, and even then not have paperbacks from you guys to hold on to. But thats the scheme of things I guess!
Totally loved this one! :)
wishes
Mithun.
#72
Great use of the "fire" theme. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Great job!
ReplyDeleteAbove my head babe. I love it but I have no idea why. I'm just daft.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful feeling when I read it.
4D x
Creationism just went to a whole new level, never thought of Adam and Eve quite this way before. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteDottie :)
Gorgeous imagery and I love the sensual way the images enact this fresh envisioning of creation.
ReplyDeleteSeriously awesome. I love it that Lilith and Eve were lovers first. And this is a beautiful way to show Lilith declined to be with Adam.
ReplyDeleteWonderful!
Aerin, you amaze me. I have always adored your naturalistic dialogue - it's always so truthful - and here again you infuse such depth into the piece with honest simplicity. Not that this is a simple piece - it's complex, layered and intriguing. I just LOVE it.
ReplyDeleteI've said it before - you totally rock!
"can you help me with my torso?"
ReplyDeleteUm, maybe the best line ever.
Well, my dear, you have outdone yourself. How exquisite.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, daring, and ingenuous. Why am I not surprised?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely brilliant writing, this. And I just loved the end...could almost hear the whisper in my ears.
ReplyDeleteFantastic!
Such a different take on all the myths! Fascinating.
ReplyDeleteAre you for real?This is so good...
ReplyDeleteYou have used the real crux of the prompt with brilliant use of all elements...!
Not only is the imagery "spot-on," the pacing is excellent!
ReplyDeleteThis is just brilliant, and fits perfectly within the word count, without feeling rushed.
ReplyDeleteThe dialogue was natural, and the imagery of Lilith as a fire elemental - inspired.
Your writing is amazing as always, Aerin! Brilliant idea and brilliantly executed. "You shouldn't have to change for this animal." That line is timeless! Bravo! ~Jana
ReplyDeleteI loved the richness and sensuality of the story! Thank you, take care
ReplyDeletex
This is reminiscent, inspiring, enlightening, and creative on so many levels. Very nice!
ReplyDeleteAerin: Interesting and iconoclastic which, as you might know, I always enjoy. Though I'm surprised that a theology grad would misspell Lilith throughout. :-)
ReplyDeleteAerin, fabulous. The relationship is so clear, and the writing is so smooth. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThanks again, everyone. I'm in the last week of my summer term and I hope to get back to reading entries after my credential exam tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteRichard - that's funny, I didn't think it was possible to misspell a transliteration of a word from another language. But I didn't think it was prudent to use the actual Hebrew, since not many people can read it.
Intriguing concept, brilliant description. I love creation myths with a twist.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing!
Wow. An understatement for sure. In the patriarchy the women always get such bad press, and oh, poor, poor Adam. He was tricked you know! HA! I'm gonna make sure my Fem friends read this if nothing else. I love the mythological archetypes getting upset....
ReplyDeleteShalom, Baruch Shekinah!
(PS I'm an ex-sem student - nice to meet you)
obviously the description is great, but what i particularly like is the rich texture filled tension of the dialogue. and the line particularly "i will always love you, but i can't forgive you." love the dichotomy of that.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure this counts as "studying for your credential exam."
ReplyDeleteGratz, Aerin! Great to see your excellent writing getting the attention it deserves.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to see them part. Lillith's heartbreak deosn't need to be spoken. Somehow, it permeates. Super unique idea! Strong writing.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on Forties Club!