The Bus Stop Encounter
by Robert Ball
The bus shelter, urine smell and all, offers Joe respite from the November tempest. Wind blown clouds play tag with the full moon causing an eerie slow motion strobe-like effect on the adjacent urban park.
“Hey mister can you spare a dollar?”
Startled, Joe whirls around toward the shelter’s darker end.
“Whose there?” He challenges, hands reflexively clenching into gloved fists.
“Just a war vet down on his luck. I don’t mean nobody no harm or nothin’.”
“And just what war might that be buddy?”
“The Nam” replied the bum limping slowly forward.
Emerging from the darkness, the old veteran stops, revealing a collection of tattered rags clinging to a battered pale body. An oblique checkerboard of moonlight and shadows crisscross his crippled frame.
“You too have the signs young man. A soul-damaged look straight from hell itself!”
“Yeah, Iraq, another godforsaken war”, sighs Joe.
Reaching under his coat, Joe pulls out some bills. Extracting a five he hands it to the old man, then turns to look for the bus.
“Not God, but the self-righteousness of man brings about such wars, and thanks. Oh, your wish is granted.”
“Wish. What wish?” Says Joe turning back, but the bum had vanished!
Hearing a rush of steps, Joe turns again and collides with a petite figure in an oversized hooded coat. Slender fingers push back the hood revealing a brown-skinned angel in a nurse’s uniform! Mutual apologies flow while they stare into each other’s eyes … followed by shared smiles.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
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24 comments:
A 'genie' in bum's guise. I have to admit - the ending was rather amusing.
Te spoils of war. Well written.
Hmmm. Maybe I should start protesting the war...
Where is that bum. I want a wish. Good story.
I do love a happy ending.
- a modern day fairytale done very well.
Quite an engaging story. However, I am a "Nam" era vet myself, and shuddered at the "old vet" image! ;-)
i agree with k. lawson gilbert -- very nice modern fairytale! i like that the old vet -- oops. sorry, bonnie! -- could be an older version of joe.
Bonnie, sorry about the "old" reference. I'm a Vietnam vet myself, and at 61 don't know if I'm still middle aged or have slipped into the "old" category. However, I wanted to make the contrast with Old and Young between the two characters with out stretching all the way back to Korea.
jim: thanks, I wanted to portray an upbeat tone at the end.
bofire: thanks, some wishes, even unconscious ones can come true!
scott: Yes, the angels (of all colors) are out there waiting.
robert rohloff: Feel free to conjure that bum up in another story!
jer: Thanks, I usually stick to writing the "Happy Every After" kind of story.
k. lawson gilbert: Thanks, I was striving for the fairytale feel.
anne: Thanks, maybe that should be "middle-aged vet".
Again, thanks for all of your kind comments.
(sigh) what an ending! Nam stories always leave me a little weepy. Glad it had such an upbeat finish. Good read!
I loved it. The political undertones with a hint of religon, just tells us to look around at our fellow man, and do the best we can for each other while we're here. Loved it.
I can't help but love a guardian angel type story. Nice.
A vet as a fairy godmother.That is interesting.
Never know what an act of kindness will bring you! I loved the imagery you've created. Cute story.
anna: thanks, it's not easy to juxapose Nam and upbeatness.
Tangasaurus Rex: Thanks, that was a point that I was trying to make.
Joni: Thanks, me too.
Bernita: Yes, there are all type of "fairy godpersons",
Lisa: Thanks. Kindness without any expected payback is one of the best acts a person can perform.
Again, thanks for the comments. Also the stories seem to just keep coming and coming. Great efforts and great reads!
I liked the way you integrated the characters. ALL veterans, ALL wars.
"Just a war vet down on his luck."
What a strong Sentence.
Good writing.
A soul damaged look straight from hell.
You said it all, Robert.
I love angels of rescue...
An interesting take on the subject of war. Nicely done. :)
Linda Fort-Bolton: Thank you for your observation.
Bofire: Yes, as Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman said: "War is Hell".
fringes: I like to put angels either human, heavenly or demonic in my stories.
Bhaswati: Thank you for your observation. I was striving for a Rod Serling's Twilght Zone approach, especially along the rythm of the early episodes.
Thank you all for your comments. Also the great stories keep on coming. Poor Jason, its going to be tough picking winners!
Very fun story, Robert, with a good message about being nice to those who may end up being cute. Haha!
Very good story!
Re the "old vet": most street people age rapidly, so he could look very old without actually being so.
I hope someone is looking out for all these people who have suffered in war. I liked the optimism expressed here.
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