Friday, April 20, 2007

Entry #7

Werewife
by Jaye Wells


I should've turned around and left the minute I saw the kitchen. The penicillin growing on the plates could only mean one thing.

I glanced at the wall calendar next to the phone. Dammit. That time of the month again.

I cupped my balls as I walked into the den—just in case. Meredith lay on the couch with an arm covering her eyes. I tiptoed through the room, my silent feet dodging dirty clothes and empty dog treat boxes. Maybe she'd just ignore me.

"You're late," she barked. "Did you get the steak?"

I winced and turned slowly. No sudden movements, I reminded myself.

"I’ll go now."

Her eyes glowed in the dim room, a predator's stare.

"Don't bother.” She swiped a furry hand through the air. “I'll eat out tonight."

I felt the blood leave my face in a rush. "But, honey, last time—“

My words died as she hunched over, grabbing her belly. Sympathy and terror struggled for dominance in my own gut. She got on all fours and let loose an unholy growl.

Screw sympathy.

I sealed myself behind the basement door just before her body slammed into it. Her claws decimated the fresh coat of semi-gloss I’d applied a month earlier.

Finally, the snarling stopped —the thrill of the chase gone. Toenails clicked on the linoleum, followed by the sound of breaking glass and splintering wood.

A mournful howl split the night.

One of these days I really needed to install a doggie door.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Clever story, and the line at the end is very funny! Nice work!

Sam said...

LOL!! That is a great tale! Love the guy's devotion to his wolfie wife.

Bernita said...

Oh! Oh! Absolute delight, Jaye!

Anonymous said...

Nicely done, Jaye. You've got quite a wry sense of humour!

Anonymous said...

After reading the first couple of lines, I double checked to see if it was written by a man or a woman. I was struggling to figure out your message when it took a humrous turn. thanks for the chuckle.

Joni said...

You Rock, Jaye.
I always watch out for your entries.

Perfect Humor.

briliantdonkey said...

Great Job Jaye,

"you're late she barked" enjoyed that one.

"toenails clicked on the linoleum" GREAT imagery

and the last line speaks for itself.

Thanks for the great read. Most definitely enjoyed.

BD

Jude said...

Mmm interesting, tongue in cheeck one, I think. Unusual take on the picture, but entertaining nevertheless.

Unknown said...

Not much to add to the other's comments. The imagery, dialogue and humour are great. Well done Jaye.

Scott said...

Jaye, that was doggone good! Clever as usual.

Anonymous said...

haha... I relished the descriptive language. Great fun!

Beth said...

Clever and funny. Liked the nails on the linoleum. Good description.

Anonymous said...

This one made me howl with laughter. Jaye, it's like a great opening to an episode of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.

Well done.

Esther Avila said...

Great use of imagery - eyes glowing, dim room, toenails on linoleum, claws decimated the fresh coat of semi-gloss! That's his wife? I think I know someone like that. LOL (no, not me) Very interesting.

mermaid said...

That is hilarious! We women must appear bestial at that time of the month:)

The Wandering Author said...

I love this story! It takes a while to even understand what's going on, and then, just as the horror dawns, the humour kicks in. What an incredible job for so few words.

Anonymous said...

One of the few where I ended up laughing.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Oh, this was a good one. When I first started reading it I was thinking "arg, an abusive mother story..."

And then I realized it was a werewolf story.

Esther Avila said...

Just wanted to come back in to congratulate you. :) I knew this would be a winning entry.

AngelConradie said...

BUCKING FRILLIANT!!!
this shoulda been the winner i think- loved it!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on 4th Place and the Readers' Choice Award!!

The beginning was perfect. I was laughing out loud at the cleverness.

God, I feel for that guy.

High marks overall!

Jaye Wells said...

Thanks, Jason! And thanks to everyone who left such nice comments and voted for this story. I'm glad I could provide a chuckle or two.