Thursday, July 26, 2007

Entry #11

And They Stayed
by Sharon Poppen

"Creaton, the cloaking shield is up."

"Thank you, Gabrel. Now, move us from this moon." Creaton’s pilot navigated their two-man, ship toward the blue-green planet. “This is the last colony to observe before returning to Hevana. The data needs to be accurately recorded for analysis."

"So sad. Few colonies planted eons ago have survived and those that have are still quite primitive."

"It is sad," lamented Creaton.

The terrain became visible. "Gathering data, " Gabrel reported. “Creaton, look!"

"I see, Gabrel!"

"Colonies! Thousands!"

"Drop lower. I must see the inhabitants." Creaton directed.

"They've thrived, multiplied."

"Indeed, Gabrel. Look, they've learned to fly. They’ve conquered water."

"They’ve done well. Would they remember us?"

"No. When they were placed here, they agreed to lose thousands of years from their lives due to the heavy atmosphere."

"Creaton, look up the names of the two original settlers."

"I don’t need to. I remember them. It was Aidaim and Eeve."

"They’ve done well. How did you get them to stay?"

"I took them down to this beautiful planet. I told them to taste the ocean surging onto the coastal rocks through the fog. Feel the breeze swirling through forests and meadows planting a future. Smell the desert taking a rare drink of rain. Watch the sun flash a goodnight. Listen to their night creatures call to the moon."

"And they stayed?"

"Yes, they stayed."

"May I do those things, Creaton?"

"Maybe someday, somewhere, but this is their world." Creaton smiled. "Home, Gabrel. I am pleased."


Hoodie said...

I really like this.

Way to shed humanity in such a postitive light.

SzélsőFa said...

If we were a colony, like described here, do the majority of us still do what we were told (as said by Creaton)? Do we feel the breeze, smell sand etc. Very unfortunately not.
I liked this one, though. It made me smile.

Chris Eldin said...

I liked this very much, but didn't feel the match with the picture. Very nice writing.

Jaye Wells said...

I like the SF take on the picture. You have a great imagination.

Anthony Rapino said...

Light hearted and well written.

Anonymous said...

Good one, Sharon! Nice take on the Adam and Eve story.

Anonymous said...

Interesting take on the story. Not sure I see the tie to the picture, though.

Hoodie said...

My opinion is that the picture is there for inspiration and the tie in doesn't necessarily have to be obvious to everyone else if it is obvious to the author. My $.02.

Unknown said...

The picture brought thoughts of beauty and appreciation of earth as a whole. And how we humans need to appreciate it.

Jeff said...

I agree with Sandra. Nice take on Adam and Eve story. Good job.

Unknown said...

Very nice piece of writing and I really liked the sci fi take on the Adam and Eve story.

AngelConradie said...

woohoo! love the sci-fi!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful - I love stories that place new mythologies in with the old!

Bernita said...

Truly, a "god in the machine!"

Anonymous said...

Definitely liked the idea of the Bible explained. Clever!