Thursday, July 26, 2007

Entry #2

by SF Johnston

I ain’t the smartest guy in the world. But I know when I’ve seen enough of these goddamn trees.

So when Blake brings us to town from the logging camp, I stomp the leaves off my steel-toes and run straight into Clancy’s, where I get half drunk and full-on horny. That’s when I up and kiss Darlene Cuthbert on the mouth.

It’s that red dress of hers, and what with Blake gone off to piss.

Of course, my luck being what it is, Blake comes back just as Darlene’s slapping my face. He calls Shawn over, who says something about dickheads, and next thing I’m hogtied in the back of Blake’s pickup.

Back in the goddamn trees. Christ, that was fast.

Shawn laughs every time we take a bump and I come down hard. We skid up to the camp and Blake is seriously irate. I was just fooling around, man. Come on, buddy.

Blake says talking shit in the woods is one thing. He drags me off the flatbed and I fall into the dirt, whereupon Shawn kicks me in the head.

Things go dark.

I hear chainsaws when I come around. Frankly, it makes me nervous, tied here as I am to this fucking tree.

But it’s just my brains, buzzing. I’m alone.

Man, Darlene sure looked good in that dress. But what’ve they got me looking at now?

I ain’t the smartest guy in the world. But I know when I’ve seen enough of these goddamn trees.


Jaye Wells said...

Man, what a great voice you have. Thanks for the chuckles.

Hoodie said...

I always enjoy a protagonist that you dislike just a little. Adds some flavor.

I do think the poor guys friends overreacted just a little.

Nice story.

SzélsőFa said...

What a desperate character...I found it sad. Perpaphs it was that the writer disliked the protagonist, yes.

Anonymous said...

terrific voice, lots of story in very few words. well executed (no pun intended)

Victor J. Banis

Anthony Rapino said...

Very funny story. I like the bookended approach.

Unknown said...

Interesting look at a 'guy' thing. Sounds like they are all thinking with their heads instead of their brains. Good dialog and pacing. Nice writing.

apprentice said...

Yes, loved the pace, and the repeat in the the last line.

Jeff said...

He's still thinking about Darlene and her red dress even after a swift kick in the head. ha ha!
Good story.

AngelConradie said...

i LIKE it!

Unknown said...

Strong voice and characterisation and good pace - nicely done!

Anonymous said...

It's already been said, but I'll say it again: good, strong voice.

Sarah Hina said...

Even the "it's already been said" line has been used. Ah, well. It *still* must be said that this was my favorite that I've read so far. The way you brought it full circle, and balanced the wry humor of his voice with the danger of his predicament, really sold it. Great work.

Khon Lao said...

The voice of the narrator is the story. Pretty good.

Anonymous said...

A lot of characterization in a few words. I enjoyed this. Nice job!

Bernita said...


Anonymous said...

I like the voice and the circular form. There's a different kind of justice way out there.

Great writing as usual. High marks!