Friday, November 09, 2007

Entry #18

Jacob Smiles
by Jerry Allen

“I can’t believe the night that I just had”, thought Jacob as he walked from the woods behind his house. “Six women, eight men. That is a new record for me, I do believe”.

As his thoughts trailed off, he could hear the sirens wailing. He turned to look and could almost make out the silhouette of his last victim as she lay motionless on the grass behind her house. The sirens gave him an instant sense of satisfaction on a job well done.

He watched from the concealment of the trees as the detectives placed crime scene tape around the body.

“GOD, I love this shit” he thought to himself. “Nothing better than watching a good murder mystery play out right in front of me.”

Making his way home, Jacob was in no hurry. He walked slowly, almost a stroll. He was not the least bit shaken by the presence of the police in his neighborhood. Jacob was at peace. He was content with himself and his new personal best of fourteen men and women killed. This was a good night for him. He got revenge on fourteen people who had crossed him in the past and he was proud of himself.

As he walked home, he noticed the blood red sky that was appearing above him. It made him think of the blood of his victims.

Jacob walked into the back door of his house, took one more glance at that sky, and smiled brightly.

[Jerry Allen is a self proclaimed "Writing Noob". You can check out his blog HERE.]


Sarah Hina said...

How cold, and clinical. I might have appreciated a little bit more "show" and less "telling" here, but the premise is a solid one, and I like how you tied the blood-red sky to his victims.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

good job, noob.

SzélsőFa said...

oh good fate, save us from Jacobs like this one...

Beth said...

I love the happy title compared to the grim subject.

wrath999 said...

I enjoyed the coldness of Jacob. Great read.

Anonymous said...

Many upsetting questions like could anyone deserve that fate? Good piece!!

Anonymous said...

I remember that old question about Santa. How did he do it all in one night? An interesting glimpse into this character. Well written with a comfortable amount of detail. The sense of movement was seamless.