that perfect tree
by …why paisley???
it was there that they planted her... once upon a time,, when they were young and very much in love..... the whole world opening up for them for the first time.. the very spring of life...
it was there that they planted her. just outside the fence line, as the hill begins to roll and the horizon remains unobscured... there where the sun was full and the winds whispered.. there where the water never pooled,, but flowed freely, feeding, nourishing, sustaining life... trickling down,, past her, through her, into the fields below...
every year, since they had planted her there, she had brought them the luck of the harvest.. wordlessly, she watched over them. they never said so.. but they knew,, she was their blessing...
it was there that they planted her,, but it was she that brought forth from the womb of earthen mystery,, the tree.. no seed.. no planting.. no watering.. no tending.. that perfect tree..
that tree that grew and blossomed,, as she would have grown and blossomed.. that tree that swayed freely in the breeze,, in which she would have played.. that tree that served as a constant reminder,, that she had lived..
she watched over them now,, much like they had envisioned themselves watching over her... the day they welcomed her into this world.. into their lives.. into their hearts.... only to find,, she had no intention of staying….
once upon a time,, when they were young and very much in love.....
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Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
About Me
- Aine
- Collaborator and night owl.
Past Contests
- "Elemental" Short Fiction Contest
- "Uncovered" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silhouette" Short Fiction Contest
- "In Vino Veritas" Short Fiction Contest
- "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest
- "Running Wind" Short Fiction Contest
- "Whispers" Short Fiction Contest
- "Restless Dawn" Short Fiction Contest
- "Halo" Short Fiction Contest
- "Endless Hour" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silent Grey" Short Fiction Contest
- "Lonely Moon" Short Fiction Contest (with Anne Frasier)
- "Midnight Road" Short Fiction Contest
- "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest
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26 comments:
Ah paisley, wonderful story and wonderful telling. Indeed the tree is proof that she lived.
I've asked my children to bury my ashes in my vegetable garden with an acorn......
rel
I loved loved loved this! It was incredibly poetic. I loved how you opened and closed this piece. This piece really moved me. Thank you.
I also love this one. Poetic and sad.
Simply lovely.
I have never seen double commas before in work so am not sure if this is poetry or telling the reader to slow down, which I did. Some very nice phrases in there.
Lilting and poetic
Beautifully told.
Really love the rhythm of your words in this piece Paisley!
I love how she provides life in death, looks over them as they would her. It's beautiful.
Wow.
This is one of the very rare cases where the distinction between prose and poetry dissipates...
Love the repetition of the line.
Beautiful. Really hit home for me, well done!
This one is just too lovely and heart-breaking for words. I, too, loved the circular structure of the first and last lines.
You tapped into a deep well of emotion with this. Very original, and beautiful, writing.
Yes, very original and very lovely. Well done!!!
A beautiful, lyrical and haunting piece of writing - very well done.
Soothingly worded soliloquy.
Am I the one who's crying over the loss of a baby here?
Very poetic, I loved it.
The voice reminds me a lot of your Silence pieces. Haunting yet down to earth and real.
What a haunting love song... the heart aches at its beauty...
Your writing reminds me of the ocean - undulating waves washing over the sand again and again. I love that about the ocean. This is beautifully written, Paisley!
I like that you leave certain key elements open to interpretation -- making it possible to be about more than one personal event. It makes it more universally identifiable. Well done.
I love that they always thought of their daughter as a blessing, even in their loss and that she blessed them with the perfect tree even in her death.
There is so much love in this piece. It is a moving and utterly satisfying read.
Wonderful!
I think all the words have been used - haunting, lyrical, moving, and certainly, as Mystico says, a blur between prose and poetry.
I love this one. The loss of a child represented in the growth of the tree is very evocative. I think grief grows like that even as people move on and continue living.
Beautifully written and very touching
Very potent use of metaphor. The dead tree standing. The dead that is now them. High marks!
I like how it evokes different interpretations, as Posolxstvo pointed out. Upon first reading I found the tree to be a perfect metaphor for their love. Then, I found the layer about a baby. I really enjoyed this piece!
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